If you're on any sort of social network; if you watch TV a fair bit; if you have a girlfriend/wife/partner; even if you get junk mail; you probably know that next Friday is Valentine's Day. Depending on who you are, you may either be looking towards the approaching that day with either excitement or trepidation.
Valentine's Day gets quite a hubbub these days. Being in a relationship is the new cool thing, even if you're quite young. It's not uncommon to see people in primary school dating nowadays. And you get a lot of people lamenting the fact that they aren't in a relationship; getting really quite annoyed/angry/depressed because they aren't with someone.
And you hear the speeches that people give to them - "Oh, being in a relationship isn't that great," "You have so much freedom when you're single!" "You should be so happy!" - typically, given by people in relationships; and honestly, it sounds like they're talking schist. Like they're saying things just to make someone happy. They mean well, but they're going about it the wrong way. It might work for some people, but if someone was saying that sort of thing to me, I'd cheerfully give them a right hook.
OK, probably not, but I'd be more annoyed at them than cheered up.
I'm currently 21, and I've been single all my life. Never been on a date, never kissed a girl (apart from some people who do the kiss on the cheek thing to say hi, which I always find a bit weird). Am I happy being single?
Well, yes and no.
Do I want to be single for the rest of my life - heck no. I'd possibly go slightly crazy(-er than I already am). I like people too much to be myself my whole life. But at the same time, I'm fairly comfortable being single. To say that I love it, that I'm happy with it - that would be stretching it quite a bit. I do want to be in a relationship, quite a bit. But at the same time, it's not something I want to rush into. And it's not something I take lightly. Though, at the same time, I don't have a list as long as my arm of qualities potential girlfriends need to possess.
Now, I know people who have started dating - from fairly young - and are still together with the same person. And that's awesome that they met that person so early on. But that's not how it's going to happen for everybody - it might take you ages until you find someone that you fall for. And even then, the first person you fall for you won't necessarily end up with. If that does happen, you're doing very well.
And, being a single person - particularly as you get older - it can be quite disheartening, both seeing some people that just don't take it seriously and are with a new person every other month, and others your age who are in serious relationships, and looking to get married. I know at least half a dozen or so people born within about 3 years of me that are already married, and by this time next year I can guarantee you there will be a few more.
And sometimes, you feel like you could just try and compromise. Ask that quite nice looking girl that's displayed some interest in you. And maybe it will work out. Every person is different, and I can't tell you what will or won't work for you.
But for me - almost ever since I've been interested in girls (that was about year 9, and this was since year 10, so less than a year gap), there's been someone I've been interested in. Not the same person - I haven't quite been able to manage that - but I know that for me, starting a relationship with one person when I was interested in someone else just wouldn't work. So I've never really gone there, even when I've thought that it was a possibility.
And yes, I get down sometimes. And yes, I'd like to be in a relationship. And yes, I've had enough time by myself to last a lifetime. But at the same time, I know that everything has its time. Right now is the time for me to be single. Maybe it's so I can focus on some other things. I don't know exactly what God's planning. He shows me bits and pieces now and then, but he certainly likes to keep things to himself sometimes.
On that note - Segue! - you probably haven't noticed, but there are some posts that I share on Facebook, and there are some I don't. And then there are some things that I just don't post about. The things that I write up but I don't share, I feel almost a bit scared of what people will think. That fear - among others - is something I'm trying to fight this year.
And, as you're probably well aware while reading this, this isn't something I typically talk about. I'm very tight-lipped when it comes to relationships at all, generally speaking. This would usually be one I definitely wouldn't share on Facebook. Not so much for fear of ridicule or rejection, but more because it's not something I'm as comfortable with sharing with everybody, and you never know who's going to see it on Facebook.
But I'm going to do something radical, and share it anyway.
If you take this as a sign that I'm suddenly going to tell you everything about this sort of thing, however, you've got another thing coming.