A little while back, in the middle of last year, I did a post on my analogy of the well. If you didn't see it, you can find it here. Essentially, the deal is that when you're telling someone about struggles in your life, I was saying that there are three levels you can go to.
The first I like to call the lookout; it's from a distance, you can see that there are wells out there, you might have an idea of how many there are. This is where you tell people that you're struggling with things.
The second I call the tour; you take people around through the wells, and they can see down them. This is where you tell people how much you've been struggling with things.
The third I call the descent; you get out the ropes, carabiners and harnesses, and take someone down right to the bottom. I don't think that needs too much explanation.
Since then, though, I've realised that there's actually a fourth level, beyond that. It's what I call deconstruction.
Here, you need to imagine that the well is made of bricks. And in this one, you're not just taking someone down to the bottom and shining a light down there - you're taking out each individual brick and showing it to them. There's nothing they don't see. Absolutely nothing.
This is the sort of thing that you won't see happening too often; and it's also something that can really take a lot of time. Obviously, depending on how deep the well goes. I'd say that this is usually something between husband and wife, or that you might do with your mentor.
But for me, it's just challenged me again in how radically honest and open I am with people, particularly people that I trust and care about.