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Sunday, 18 February 2018

On Watching Pots.

You're probably familiar with the expression, "a watched pot never boils." Well, I may be a professional pot watcher....admittedly, I tend to use the kettle when I actually want to boil water. But, of course, it's a metaphor for a reason.

There have been a fair few times in life now where I get to a particular goal along the way, and kinda sit back and relax. Nothing I can do about it now! Not up to me! I've done all I can do!.....but that's really not the case, of course. And it's not in the sense of passing the blame, or offloading chores and the like - though I'm sure I've done that now and then.

No, it's actually in regards to relationships. (It's me. Of course it's going to be that.) I feel like with every time - whether it's in telling someone how I feel, or meeting/catching up with them for the first time (with online dating and such) - once I do that, I almost palm it off to them. Okay, what now? I leave it up to them. As if people should know that sort of thing this early on, or have reached some sort of conclusion this quickly; because that makes sense....

And I just watch and wait. And hope. And then get all surprised when it doesn't work out again....

I think I need to get better at giving pots some space and time - but also being better at not needing an answer right now. Not having to ask where they're at so early, or where to from here, or however I want to put it. I don't know.

Still figuring all this out feels weird. I get that I didn't have much say in that - yay, Asperger's! - but it's annoying being so behind. Feel like I've got enough stacked against me without that as well.

Ah, well. We're getting there. Slowly.

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