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Sunday, 25 February 2018

On Trying To Fly With Lead Feet

Goodness, two posts in two days, this is a bit radical.

Being in a spring season (as I am), you tend to think a lot more about dreams. About all the things that you want to do, new things to try and start - it gets rather exciting. Because, you know, I don't have enough happening at the moment.....

Let me give you an idea of what I'm working on already.

I've got an album that I'm working on the recording for. Slowly getting a band together, but still looking for someone on cello and someone on sax (in case you know anyone). Doing the practice tracks in the little time that I have.
I've got Septimus, the board game that I made, that I'm working on improving. Looking at changing the system quite a bit, while keeping the key ideas of seven factions, and the encounters in a maze-type thing.
Then I also came up with a new idea for a game that I'm calling Squared, which I'm also working on.
Then I'm trying to do bits and pieces on my language, Aiyæthron, when I can.
Then I've got a play I'm involved in, with rehearsals about to start once a week.
Another play that I'm doing sound/lights for, which I need to start working on.
And a third play happening later in the year that I'm Assistant Director for.
Then I've got Youth Group with the Campbelltown Theatre on Thursday afternoons, and with church on Friday evenings.
And finally, I'm running a tabletop gaming night every week.
Oh, and work. XD

Needless to say, I have a lot on my plate. But my dreams - they're much bigger.

There's the musical that I've written with Mozart, The Narrator's Mad-Em, that I want to get out there. I think it has incredible potential - I want to see it opening one day at the Capitol Theatre, or the Opera House - heck, going overseas. Schools doing it as well.
I've got the book, Son, Brother, Bride, that I want to see helping men to understand themselves better - and helping to solve some of the massive struggles that men today face.
I want to start a creative space, where creative people can connect, inspire each other, and express themselves. Where there is freedom to collaborate, grow, and learn. To see that sprout up in other places as well, and grow well beyond me.
I want to build a community around the ideas of Crux - life, love, light, and truth - and see what flows from that. A community that wants to explore the ideas of identity more deeply, understand who they are, who others are, and who God is.
I want to start a songwriting ministry in a church - to the point where most of the songs that we sing have been written by those in the congregation. Not to be insular or exclusive about it - but rather recognising that the songs that we write are written out of what we are experiencing here and now, and therefore will be that much easier to connect to by those who are in the same here and now.
And I want to share my music with more people. I don't want to go travelling around the world with it or anything, getting to the stage where I'm doing shows day after day, or doing shows with thousands of people - but, say, regularly sitting down with a hundred or so people and sharing my songs, sharing my story.
Oh, and I want a family, of course. Wife and kids, that sort of thing. But that's a different sort of dream, that I've already waxed lyrical enough about before.

The difficulty is bi-fold. Firstly, if I even wanted to make one of these happen - the amount of time and effort required to get it happening would be more than I have to spare. I would probably need to finish up at one or both of my jobs to make it happen - and if I saw any return on the project (which is a massive if), it would take quite a while. And secondly - I couldn't do just one. That's not me, not how I work. I can't do just one thing. I need to be doing lots of different things at once. Which means, of course, that I can't really give anything the attention it needs to get to the stage I'm talking about above. At least, not while I have work.

And there's the rub. Because the cost of living these days, as I'm sure you're aware, is not fun. Many people find it difficult to get by. I'm quite fortunate in the work that I have - but even with what I have, I worry about finances. That worry would be rather exacerbated if, instead of having two regular jobs, I was trying to pick up bits and pieces from various creative endeavours. (Which, by the way, have insofar, throughout my life, earned me about as much as a few hours of work, maybe.) That's my struggle. It's also, by the way, why I'm rather keen on the idea of a UBI. (You can read my post about it here.) It would mean that I could actually do some of this - rather than having to choose between that and my job.

I've always been a big dreamer. But the world isn't very good at letting dreams happen. It's rather a heavy world that we live in, unfortunately. Flying is next to impossible. But maybe, one day....

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