Find what you're looking for

Thursday, 27 December 2012

Some new developments.

So. Awesome people.

For a little while now, I've been looking for a job. Partly because I want a job that I'm a bit better at/am more happy with than my current job (not that I don't like the job, but it is a bit of a downer when you know you're the worst one at it); partly so I could actually save up some money to get my own place sometime soonish; and partly because my uni degree was finishing up, so something a trifle more regular would be cool.

The main problems were that I had a) basically no experience; and b) basically no qualifications. I mean, I've done stuff, and I've learned stuff, but not really relevant stuff to jobs, in the main. So when I see a job, and I think, "Oh, that one looks good!" I click on it and see - requires 5 years of relevant experience and a degree in whatsisname. Twas a bit annoying.


Then I managed to chance across this other one. It was a two year trainee position, that gave you Cert III/IV in Outdoor Recreation. With a company that did treks and such. I looked them up, and discovered that the guy who founded and ran the company had actually worked at my old high school. (Among other things, he ran the Chess Club while he was there. Twas good.) So that was interesting.

So I got in touch with him, asked him a few questions about the position, went back and forth a couple of times. Eventually sent him along my resume. A bit later - early this month, I think - he rang me up and asked me to come in for an interview. I'd actually only just woken up, so that was somewhat interesting. Thankfully, I'm a bit of a morning person, I can wake up in a snap if I need to. So I went to the interview.

It was at a place about half an hour away from where I live, and a nice scenic drive. The place it was was essentially a warehouse/shed type shenanigan, with an office rigged up the top. He and his office-person (can't remember her name) did the interview, and it went pretty well. I've had a total of two interviews before this one; one lasted less than a minute and only had a couple of questions, the other was pretty laidback. And, to be honest, this one was too, to a degree. Not in the sense that they weren't taking it seriously, but in the sense that they didn't try and make it too business-like. They were quite relatable, which was good. I fuddled round a bit (apparently, spellcheck accepts fuddled, but not relatable; I think there is a problem here), but I tried to be honest. True, I probably focussed on some things more than others; but not in such a way that would say I was someone that I wasn't. And, in a couple of places, I did say that I wasn't too great at something.

But I think it went pretty well. I went out of there feeling quite positive, and went over to Common Grounds Cafe for morning tea. (Had a macadamia and apple slice/cake type thing, was delicious!)

And then, last Friday, I get another call, offering me a job.


I think you can guess as to my response.

I was a bit hyper after that. I recall possibly jumping around a bit. Or, at least, being quite bouncy.

It's a full time job, five days a week. I start on January the 22nd, and it's with these guys here: And it's going to be awesome :D

Oh, and God seems to like changing things round a bit, just when you get used to them. After all, if you get too comfy, you're not really learning, are you? :)

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Thoughts on friends.

I've been spending a bit of today just watching Dr Who. Because there was a lot of episodes on TV, so was just watching them one after the other. Then lunch interrupted it, though, which meant that when I got back, it was in the middle of an episode. No good coming in in the middle of an episode, particularly for drama type stuff. So I just wandered around. There wasn't much else around to do, so my mind started to do what it likes to do when I'm not doing much. It started drifting. Off to things that get me somewhat depressed.

As such, I thought I'd come on here and chat to a friend of mine, who's generally pretty good to chat to for this sort of thing, even just to keep me distracted. But they weren't on, which was a bit annoying. What they had done, however, was put up a few posts since I'd been on last. So I went and read those. And I was interested to note that they basically had the same effect - well, not exactly the same - but they cheered me up, and distracted me a bit.

I suppose that made me think that that's, perhaps, a good way of telling how well you relate to someone - if they can cheer you up even by the breadcrumbs they leave behind - maybe not even ones specifically for you - then actually interacting with them must be pretty darn good. Just a thought.

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

All the best for all the rest.

Sorry I haven't posted up recently. Been busy here in Perth. In Perth, actually, it's not Christmas Day yet.

I'm sitting outside, there's a nice cool breeze blowing; I've got a great view of the city, the river, the sky. The latter is quite spectacular at the moment, actually.

I'm aware that some of you may not be having Christmasses as nice as mine. Perhaps your family don't get along, or you don't get along with them. Perhaps a sadness of late still hangs over you. Perhaps you don't have Christmas.

But whatever the case; I pray that you, and those around you, will have the best of times; both now, and ongoing.

Have a good one. :)

Sunday, 16 December 2012

The Search For Happiness.

Sorry I didn't get this post up sooner, guys; I was away for one week, and then this past week I've had various things happening - actually had an interview for a job, and will be let know shortly if that works out! :D So that's pretty cool. And it's sounding like a really nice job as well. But more info on that soon, hopefully. Back to what this post is actually about.

Happiness is a great thing to have. It can, however, be somewhat difficult to keep at times; remaining optimistic through troubled times is tricky at best. And happiness can come from so many different places, for so many different people: sometimes its in circumstances, in actions, in people, in objects, in places - it can be so varied that its a bit hard to pin down. That's not necessarily a bad thing, of course; sometimes things need to be like that, and if we try to pin them down, they lose a lot of what makes them so amazing.

If you see happiness as the most important thing, you can take a couple of different approaches; you can try to chase after it, or let it come to you. I'll elaborate a bit on them both.

People, generally speaking, are pretty aware of what things make them happy. If they think being happy is important, often they'll simply doing it by having a lot of those things; whether that means doing the same thing many times, having large amounts of something, being around a particular person a lot, going to a place frequently - there are different individualities and specifities, but essentially, they're the same. Seeking out, chasing after happiness.
And the problem with that approach is that, after you start doing the same thing, or having the same thing, quite often - it begins to grow a bit more tedious. That's just the nature of us as people - we like new things, something original and different. Perhaps if that in itself is what gives you happiness, you might do a bit better; but even then, I think it wouldn't last. It wouldn't be able to keep you through the tough times. That's the problem with this sort of happiness; you instigate it, so if you can't do that, it fails very quickly.

But what if you don't do that?

Well, you can do something a bit different. Instead of searching for happiness, you let it come to you. It's other-centred, rather than self-centred. In serving, helping and loving others, they will often do the same back to you; and in this, a greater happiness can be found than any that could by searching for it yourself.

So, in summary; happiness is fantastic, as long as you aren't going about it the wrong way.

I am heading off to Perth this Tuesday afternoon; I may be able to get up my next post before then, but if not, the last two in this series I'll do over there.

Thursday, 29 November 2012

The Strength of Self.

We live in a very individualistic society. Well, that's assuming that you people reading this come from a Western background. But even if you don't, those ideas are spreading and filtering more into the Eastern, and other more group-oriented societies.

As such, a heck of a lot of importance is placed upon the individual. Their freedom; their rights; their independence. It's this last one that has been highlighted in this instance.

Independence is an interesting idea. The word is quite simple; the "in-" prefix, usually rendering the opposite meaning of something, or not-something; and then "dependence", or the degree to which one relies upon others for basic needs and supplies. So, essentially, it's saying that you don't rely on other people for anything.

Now, in a lot of ways, that's a great thing to have. Being a teenager, living at home, barely scraping enough to get through the week - it feels good when I can pay for things by myself. When I can do my own work, that sort of thing. And independence is a good thing to develop, so that you're not being demanding of other people, and just draining them rather than contributing yourself.

However, that can be taken to a bit of an extreme. You can get the idea that you need to do everything completely by yourself; that asking for any help is weak, and that friends are just for those who can't fend for themselves. News Flash: Nobody can, all the time. Some people can do so more than others, true. But we all have spots where we need help. A hand to lift us up.

It seems to be a popular idea - well, I shouldn't use that word. That would suggest that people like it. Common, that works better.

It seems to be a common idea that people are always alone. No matter how many are near them, how many friends they have, they are always alone.

Two things to say to that.
Firstly, God's always there, so nobody is ever alone. Yes, he's always watching, whatever you happening to be doing at the time. And people get worried about Big Brother... Thankfully, he's not Zeus. Otherwise we'd all be shocking human crispies by now.
Secondly, if you're not into the whole "God" thing - then, even when nobody is physically there with you; they're still with you in your mind.  You have a connection, that means that even if they are gone, they can still be with you. I know that I'm never alone, and I won't be dying alone; even if there's no one there. Actually, I'm glad they aren't all there, because you'd need a cathedral or two to fit them all. Maybe a small football field. Football, not soccer. :P

So, to sum up. Individual independence is good, but don't get obsessed over it.

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Double Decade.

Today, I turned twenty.

That's pretty cool.

Was going to write something deep and meaningful and such, but hey, that'll do nicely.


Sunday, 25 November 2012

Words of Wisdom.

Before we take a look into the various benefits of wisdom, let's first attempt to define it. One simple way I've seen it is explained is something like this: Knowledge x Experience = Wisdom. General rule of thumb. Seems to work fairly well. Doesn't mean that if you're young, you automatically have no wisdom, and if you're old, you automatically have heaps. It's experience, not time.

The longing after wisdom has been a long-time goal of man; often because wisdom brings with it many people seeking your counsel, and often also a high position within society. Recognition and status; they are usually what has been sought after, much more than the wisdom in itself. All too often, it has been only a means to an end.

However, not always; history tells us of some wise men who were ridiculed or hated by society. Plato, of course, is the best example here; he even described himself as the stinging gnat on the backside of the horse of Athens.

Wisdom, it would seem, however, changes significantly with the times. Things that were called wise by Plato may well not be called as such today - and quite certainly vice versa. For example, phrases like "Greed is good," or "The more you have, the happier you'll be," or even "Look out for no. 1 - yourself!" are all coined by a consumerist market. They're not words of wisdom, they're selling points. Though, for all we know, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," could originally have come from a fruit seller. So perhaps wisdom in itself doesn't change - but what is called wise may.

As such, if you do put wisdom as your most important object, or goal; make sure it is not simply worldly wisdom, or wisdom that is created by men who are trying to create some increased cash flow to their pockets. Find true wisdom. That is a worthy goal.

Matters of some importance.

I'm using this post for two different things, to kill the proverbial double avians with the singular geological formation.

Firstly, had a couple of things happen lately in regards to music. Someone's gotten in touch with me about writing some score for a short film; someone else has gotten in touch with me about doing some music together, with YouTubes in mind; and then there's the possibility that one of my projects for uni could have a bit of further application. Which is cool. Takes up more of my time without really adding to the bank balance, true, but hopefully they'll lead to other opportunities, which will lead to more, etc. Snowballing is the idea. But we'll see how that goes.

Also, going to do a little mini-series, similar to one I did towards the end of last year, again based on different people's responses to a question. The question, in this instance, is asking what idea or quality they consider to be most important to them. In that itself, of course, different people will interpret it differently - primarily in what they consider "important" to mean in this context. Some will take it to mean that which is most basic; that which is primary (that is, without it, other things do not work); that which is central; that which is concentrated upon, or given attention to - many different meanings can be taken.

I got a few more answers than last time. Because of the nature of the question, in this case, there's not so much a 'right' answer; I might agree with some more than others, but I can't really present my view as being more 'right'. As such, here are some of the answers I received: wisdom; individual independence; trust; quidditch (There's a troll! Troll, in the dungeon! :P); integrity; honesty; and happiness. (Trust and happiness were both suggested by the one person, but I'm separating them here for now.) I'm not planning to do a post on Quidditch, interesting as I'm sure that would be. Honesty, trust and integrity are quite linked together, so I might actually tackle them in the one post. The rest I'll do as well. So that'll make four posts, plus I'll do one at the end on my answer. If you saw my final answer from my last mini-series, you'll probably be able to guess the lines along which this one will be as well.

Saturday, 24 November 2012


I've mentioned before that I'm quite complex; there's a lot to my personality. Sometimes it feels a bit like the Yu-Gi-Oh! episode where his two personalities are shown as two realms - one like a child's bedroom, the other an Escherian realm of sorts.

But I had the idea, at one point, of writing a book which had a short story based around each aspect of my personality; each route I could take. I came up with 31 different options that were completely viable and unique, straight off the top of my head. I'm already thinking of more. And each of them, really, could be a book in themselves. A million possible futures.

Of course, if you believe the 'many worlds' theory, then all of them will occur in different tangential timestreams or some such. Every single possibility accounted for. So, in some possible world out there, maybe I'd even be married by now. I've got some friends that are, or that got married when they were younger than I am now. So if that theory's right, then there'd be a few of those.

It's an interesting idea. But not one I plan to pursue. I like to live in what actually is, not in a million and one "what if?"s. Otherwise, I'd never make it through the day. The possibilities and opportunities in this world, and what I have, are already enough to swamp me many times over. God is good!

Friday, 23 November 2012

Birds of a feather.

There are two sayings that go around, that seem to be almost contrary to each other: "birds of a feather flock together," and "opposites attract,". One seems to be saying that relationships are based on commonalities, while the other seems to suggest that people who are very different find themselves drawn together.

According to a lecture I had in first year psychology, the former is true of long-lasting relationships; the latter more of short, more spontaneous ones. That doesn't mean that you have to be similar to have a relationship with someone else; it just helps sometimes.

But imagine if there was no-one like you. In the world, you were completely unique, in at least something; you couldn't relate to anyone else about it, because it was just you. Then, you'd feel alone. And we're social creatures. Some people try to fight that, but it's innate. We're designed to be together, not apart. Not by ourselves. Interdependent, not independent.

Just a thought I had. Which actually gives me an idea for a next post, or perhaps a mini-series...we'll see what happens.

Saturday, 17 November 2012

The measure of a person.

There's a line in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; where Sirius says that you shouldn't judge someone by how they treat their equals, but their lessers. Along the same lines, I came up with this idea; don't judge someone by how they treat other people when said people are at their best, but rather when they are at their worst.

Let me draw that out a little. If someone is being nice to you, it's fairly easy to be nice to them. It's easy to be nice to your friends, particularly when they're being friendly. But what about if they're drunk? What about if they're asleep? What if they've been having drugs? Are throwing insults at you?

If, even after all of that, you can still treat them with kindness and some respect; then that is a far greater measure of a person than seeing if you can do the same while they're being nice to you.


I've mentioned a million and one times, I know, I'm not great at communication. This time, I'm looking a bit closer at subtext.

Subtext is something I can actually pick up. Sort of. Generally, how it happens is something along these lines: Person A will present Line B with Subtext C.
I'll pick up B straight away, and wonder at C. My brain will then think - ah, but it could also be D, E, F or G. And, actually, we shouldn't forget H through to M. Actually, just throw the whole alphabet in, to be safe. It will still hang on to C as the most likely, but I won't really mention it unless it comes up a fair bit, and fairly obviously. I've been wrong before, and it gets . . . awkward. I'm very bad when it comes to dealing with awkward.

So I can actually pick it up, and a fair bit earlier than people would guess. I just don't let on. Particularly if it's a subtext I'm not liking the possible implications of. In that instance, I'll likely throw whatever I've got at it so that I don't have to deal with said implications. As mentioned, not good at dealing with awkward.

Admittedly, that's probably mainly because I've had next to no experience at dealing with it, so running away from it won't really help. I just make it very difficult for myself - you can't exactly start at the shallow end of the pool when only jumping off the diving board is what actually scares you. It's not really going to help. :P

Friday, 16 November 2012

The end of an age.

Yes, I know. I have to go back for a screening next week, and I haven't had my graduation yet. But everything I have to do is over. So humour me.

The Fourth Age of the book of Raymond, chapter of Brendan, is coming to a close. He has passed through the short but sweet First Age of before school; made it past the introductory Second Age of primary school; tackled the turmoils of the Third Age of high school; and finally, has conquered the wandering traverses of the Fourth Age of university.

It's strange. I'm only 19, and I've just finished uni. By the time I graduate, I'll be 20, but still. It's a bit weird. And now, I'm supposed to find a place in the world. Make my contribution. Earn a living. Buy a place. Raise a family of future contributors, living-earners, place-buyers and family-raisers. *sigh* But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. OK, I'm pretty much there, really. I'm just waiting a little.

It's been a good three years. I've learned a lot, from staff and students alike. Both have become friends; both, hopefully, I will keep in touch with through the years to come.
I've grown a lot over these years. Not so much physically, maybe a couple of centimetres. But in terms of who I am; I'm a better person than I was when I started, and that's due in large part to many of the great friends I've made while at uni.
There's so many things I could say; so many memories I could hearken back to; so many people I could highlight. But you've all been so amazing, I really can't list them all here. Perhaps a few honourable mentions, however.

Tom, Mark, and Micky - the original crew. Some of the first guys I met, and some of the best friends I've had in the course. Also some of the best pianists I know, and all better than me, damn it. And all left handed! Strange coincidences.
Javen - for never forgetting to bring along his guitar, or his smile. Always great to laugh and jam with, my man.
Jessie and Flick - the inseparable duo of awesomeness. Ridiculous voice + ridiculous piano skills = these two brilliant girls.
Most of you at some point or another - for always having something that I can help you out with.
Josh - for singing my song, and letting me sing his. It was pretty awesome, and we'll have to do it again sometime.
Mozart - for playing in pretty much all of my performances ever; putting up with me talking to him all the time; and always challenging me.

There are many, many more awesome things I could say about any and all of you, but I don't want this to be too ridiculously long. Suffice it to say - you've all been amazing, it's been incredible knowing you all, and we will be keeping in touch. We will be. Or else. :P Or else I get annoyed, I dunno.
But it's going to be very sad saying goodbye to you all, after knowing you for all this time. I know you're all going to be amazing at doing whatever it is you end up doing, whenever you manage to find it. Just keep on searching, keep on hoping, keep on keeping on and you'll get there.


Tuesday, 13 November 2012


Now, I'm not much of a maths fan. But I am good at it. And I am a numbers fan. Nine is one of the cooler numbers around, really. Though, admittedly, it's only so cool because it's a base-10 number system. (For those unaware, that just means that there are ten digits - 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Binary, on the other hand, is a base-2 number system.)

Now, the big cool thing about nine is to do with something called a digit sum. A digit sum is basically taking all the digits in a number, and continually adding them together until you only have one digit left. The digit sum of any multiple of 9 is also 9. As such, it's a very handy way of making digit sums very easy, even with long numbers. You can take out the 0s straight away. Then you take out all the 9s. Then you pair up other numbers to make 9s - 4s and 5s, 3s and 6s, 2s and 7s, 1s and 8s. Whatever you've got left over is pretty simple, really. Unless you've just got lots of the same number, then it's just annoying.

For example, this number - 786,050,256,256,705,202,500,575,903,598,792,256. I just randomly typed the number keys, then added the commas in. Taking the 0s and 9s out already gets it down a lot. 78652562567522557535872256. Then the pairs. 8655656525555825. Double 5s are 1. 86662825. Triple 6 is 18, a multiple of 9. Easy takeout. And we're left with 82825. That's two tens and a 5, which is 25, which is 7. Too easy.

Nine is also the first odd non-prime number. Unless you count 1. Which you probably should. :P
It's cool, OK?

Yes, I'm a bit of a maths nerd. I've also, in my spare time, attempted to figure out a formula to calculate the number of squares of any size in a square grid, and the same thing for triangles in a triangle grid. That one's hard.

Friday, 9 November 2012

And awesome was had.

Tonight was youth group again. I didn't even think I'd be able to make it; I was scheduled on for work. And then one of the leaders put up a picture of a little something they were bringing along, and I commented saying I really hoped I could make it, and would try and get work off. However, one of the other guys has another job; one has started as an apprentice; another works pizza; another I can't get in touch with; and the other one was working with me that night.
Then the head chef rings me up, and asks me if I'd like Friday night off. Yes. =D

Anyway, tonight was themed Gangster night. It was a Nerf/Risk mashup, essentially. With different regions, bonuses for each one, rationed out guns and ammo, different game styles, teams, and....awesomeness, basically. I didn't really get to spend much time firing, but it was still pretty darn cool.

And yeah. 'Nuff said.

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

It can, but will it?

The title is in reference to a phrase I'll come back to later. For now, however, on to the topic I wanted to talk about.
I wrote a post a while back about Christians dating/being in a relationship with non-Christians. I believe that at that point I didn't say a whole lot about it, but did say it could get a bit of a sticky mess. I'm not exactly older and wiser - but it is something I've thought about here and there, and a thought has come to me recently that I thought I'd put up.

Probably a good way to start off. I wouldn't date a non-Christian myself. That's been my view for a while now, whether or not other people would or not, I felt like I needed that. But I didn't really have a good explanation of that. Hopefully, however, the one below will make some sense, whether people necessarily agree with it or not.

And no, I'm not just going to say "because it's in the Bible." So don't worry about that.

As I've mentioned a couple of times, I'm not a fan of religion. I'm a fan of relation. And that's what I have with God; a relationship. He's like a best friend. An all-powerful, all-knowing and all-present best friend, albeit, but best frend nonetheless.

Now, try to think of it this way. You have your best friend, and your relationship with the person you love. Imagine having to keep the former out of the latter. Completely. It doesn't work.
You don't tell them about who you're going out with. You don't introduce them. If it gets that far, you don't tell them you're engaged. They're not invited to the wedding ceremony. They have no idea that you have a couple of kids running around. They can't be anywhere near the person you love.

It would be near impossible, unless you didn't want them to be your friend any more! (Some people will now go... well, der.... but, for me at least, not an option. Not saying that to be selfish. I just couldn't do it.) It would be even harder if your friend really wanted to know the person you love. And that's how it is with God.

Now, some of you may be saying - but you wouldn't have to stop being a Christian. You can do that if you want, just don't talk to me about it. You keep your views to yourself, and I'll keep mine.
...That's not how it works. It's about relationship. Sharing. You may not agree with each other, and that's fair enough - if I found any Christian that shared every one of my views, I would be extremely surprised! - but God isn't one of those things that can be kept to one's self. He wants to know people. He wants to love people. And, being in a relationship with him; I would want that to be a relationship that I could share with the person that I love, that we could grow together in.

Well, you say. OK. But what happens, then, if you fall in love with someone who isn't a Christian?
That's where it gets to the sticky mess I mentioned earlier.

Being in love, of course, you want it to work out. And you know that you can't stop being a Christian; so the only solution that seems to present itself is that they become a Christian. Easier said than done, of course. You can't make someone become a Christian. It's a personal choice; a response that that person has to make themselves to God.

But you think, yes, it can work. Love will find a way.
*sighs* Love will find a way.

Thing is. Love always can find a way, yes. That is certainly the truth, and I believe that whole-heartedly. I believe that it can work out.
But will it?
It won't always. Sometimes people stop it, get in its way. Sometimes the situation does. It doesn't always work out. And, with these sort of relationships, as mentioned - if they don't work out, they can get quite sticky. Not speaking from personal experience here, so feel free to disagree.

Does that mean lose hope? No. Always hope, always pray. Always believe that something is possible. But, perhaps; don't start something until you know you will actually be able to continue on with it.

And, to be fair, people have made it work before. People will make it work again. Exactly what 'work' has meant has varied quite substantially; but, they have. Don't lose hope.

Distraction and diversion.

They are two things I have become quite good at. Particularly because, I now really don't like lying. I mean, I never really liked it. But now it's a lot harder for me to do. As in, if you ask me something and the answer is A, I can't say not A. I can say not not A; I can say I don't know; I can say it doesn't matter; I can say that I don't want to say; I can compliment the lovely weather; but I will do anything I can to avoid lying.

However, if I'm also trying to avoid giving the actual answer to the question - this is where my great twin friends of distraction and diversion come in. Oh look, a purple elephant!
They seem to be particularly popular with who questions. Who do you like, who do you think is hot, who's your girlfriend, who do you wish was - always the whos.

They're pretty much the most annoying questions I can get. I can talk to you at length about what I think the different dynamics are between words such as hot, attractive, and beautiful; discuss in depth the various meanings of like and love in this day and age; but ask me who, and I'll shut tighter than a Chinese finger trap. I really will. And - that's not really something that's going to change. Those sort of names are kept to one's self for a reason.

There may be a time when one name is not kept in such secrecy; but that will only be when someone thinks of me in a similar light.

Friday, 2 November 2012


A while ago, I did a 200th post entitled CC. I have now reached my 333rd published post, hence the title of this one.

In the roughly three years that have passed since the blog started, I have had an average of:
  • 111 posts per year
  • 3 more followers per year
  • 4275 views per year
Interestingly, the majority of those views have been from America, not Australia. Which is strange, given that in Australia.....and I don't really know anyone in America.... :P However, interestingly, over half of my pageviews have just been to the 4 Chords Song list. So it has over 6000 views by itself. Which is strange, given the video that links to it has only just passed 1600 views.... but anyway, I'm not complaining. Well, I am, actually! They should be looking at my other posts! :P

But it's been a good three years. I've done a lot of different things, tried some different schedules and techniques, even had a couple of other people contribute some bits of material.

And I intend to keep this going for a fair while longer, God willing.

For those interested, who were around about this time last year; I've resolved to have another go at this NaNoWriMo this year. Don't think I'll finish it, but this is a fun story that I've been wanting to write. Should be good :)

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Star Wars...7?

You may be aware, through your various social media outlets, that Disney has bought LucasFilm for a few billion dollars, and are planning to make Star Wars Episode 7, set to be released in 2015.

As can be imagined, this has made some people lucratively happy, and others somewhat outraged/annoyed. And both sides are fairly easy to understand; one the one hand, MOAR STAR WARS!!! On the other - all the bad guys died. The people who played the good guys have, erm... aged a bit... so where on earth can another Star Wars film go, and live up to the previous ones?

Thought I'd give it a bit of a look.

For the positive.
  1. Another Star Wars film is being made. Possibly three; I believe one thing I read mentioned 8 and 9 as well.
  2. Disney also currently owns both Pixar and Marvel. Did anyone have a problem with The Avengers? Anyone? Anyone?
  3. With the massive fanbase behind the Star Wars franchise, Disney know what will happen if they put even a toe out of line with the film.
  4. Maybe we'll get some bad guys who can actually shoot this time...
For the negative.
  1. The Star Wars series effectively sealed itself off. The Sith are all dead. You can't say, "Oh no! Darth Sidious didn't actually die!" He died. End of story, bye-bye!
  2. All of the actors for the main characters in the last movie have gotten a bit old to play those roles again. It would be manufacturing a whole new story arc, just within the same universe. And if they didn't....
  3. Then other actors would be playing those parts. No. Just no. It's bad enough in a movie no-one's seen, like Dinotopia. (Great movie, as an aside.) It's just wrong in something like Star Wars. (They can get away with different ones for the trilogies because of the time difference. Both of them. :P)
  4. What are they going to call it? "A New New Hope", "A Newer Hope", or perhaps; "Attack of the Feral Ewoks"? That would be amusing, at least.
In summary. There are a few bad points, and a few good points. And a lot of possibilities. At present, this is fairly fresh news, so I think I'm going to withhold judgement and let it play out a little. At the very least, I think it should be interesting to see how it works out.

Sunday, 28 October 2012


I was thinking about what to post; contemplating on what issue I should look at, what words of wisdom I should write, how I should interpret something that's happened to me recently -
And then I thought, no. How about, for once we have a little gap.

Ponder on space, and such...

Friday, 26 October 2012

Don't Change.

It's an expression you hear sometimes. Usually after you've done something nice, or funny. I laugh uproariously at a joke, and more laughter then ensues, more from my laughter than the joke. "Oh, never change, Brendan!"

To me, it's a bit of a bittersweet turn of phrase.

In some ways, it's good. Means that you're doing something right. People are liking something about you enough to tell you not to change.

But then....none of us are perfect. I know I'm not. I know that very well. And I know I'm wanting to change for the better. I know there are things that if I don't change, are going to become massive problems for me down the line.
And, of course, if you don't change, you don't grow, you don't learn. And those are very important.

But, obviously, when people typically use that phrase, they're usually referring to a specific part of you, not all of you.
I still think it's an important and interesting point.

So I suppose, when people say that to me; I think two things. Firstly, fantastic! I'm somewhat on track. Secondly, there is actually a fair bit I'd like to change. For the better, but still a significant amount is left.

I'm too tired to write any more just now. That will do at the moment. A decent amount there, at least.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Just one rule.

One of the fairly important ideas of Christianity is that God gave us free will. He didn't want us to be robots. After all, if you can just click your fingers and something happens, there's not much reward in it! He wanted us to choose him freely, not be forced to. That way, it would mean that much more if we did.
A book that I've read also suggested that it meant that Satan has no excuse - if even we, as mortal, tiny, stupid humans that don't know God that well will still choose him; then a grand, powerful, and mighty angel who has witnessed firsthand God's power cannot plead innocence.
But that's by the by.

Anyway. God gave us free will. Which means we can do absolutely anything. Well. We can't walk on water, or jump over a building. But we can make our own choices.

Often, man tries to impose a lot on that free will. And sometimes, for good reasons. Don't kill people. An extreme example, but that's a good reason. Don't steal from them. Don't cheat them.
Essentially, don't hurt them. Which is good.

But then...people started imposing a lot more rules.
If you do this in this particular way, or say this thing at this place, or go here, or don't do this obscure thing, then you're stuffed.
We've become the Pharisees. We have. We call ourselves free, and yet give ourselves more rules to live by than God ever did. And considering how many rules people seem to think he imposes on us, that's pretty impressive.

If a rule isn't there to stop people hurting each other, or to help people (and not their wallets) in general, then there's something distinctly wrong with the rule.

Jesus managed to sum it all up in one rule. Can you imagine that? Only ever living by just one rule?
Here it is: "Love your neighbour as yourself."

Love. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Cause it's pretty darn important.

Note: Yes, Jesus actually gave two rules; that was the second. The first was, love the Lord your God with all your soul, all your heart, all your mind and your strength. I just wanted to focus on the second.

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Straw targets.

In arguments or discussions, I've found that it's almost always the case that the person making an argument - at any given point - misunderstands the point of view of the person they're arguing against.
As such, they're essentially making an argument against a figment of their own imagination. Which is often quite amusing.

They also seem to like doing the "one-size-fits-all" trick. Where the same illustration, or point, or argument is always brought in to what they say. If you're lucky, they might have two or three to vary it up a little.
Now, admittedly, sometimes that can be a good thing. Solidifies your perspective, gives it some common ground. Which is fine if that's good ground.
But if that ground's a bit shaky - then perhaps you'd better think again.

One of the many reasons I avoid arguments, and particularly online discussion boards and the like. They can be amusing at times, but they can also get nasty, confused and crazy; and often for simple misunderstandings.

Being able to walk in other people's shoes helps with these things. Quite a bit.

Saturday, 20 October 2012


Not too long ago, I put up the start of a story that I called "Empty". Link here. A bit further back, I also did a post on the five senses and how important I thought they were, rating touch as the most important. Link here. I've also put up a status before saying that everything has a reason to it, even if we don't know that reason.
Those three are all related.
Namely, "Empty" has a reason to it, which is linked to why I consider touch the most important sense.
I'll....expand on that a little. I did talk on it a bit in that post, but in a more impersonal sense.

Anyone who's seen me will know I'm a fairly shy person. I generally keep myself to myself. Been getting better more recently, but still generally true. I even used to avoid touch, sometimes to a ludicrous degree. I still have a bit of a flinch reaction sometimes, if I'm not expecting it.
And yet....I rate it as the most important of the senses. Not only that, it's my favourite one. (Don't take that the wrong way.) Handshakes to hugs, mateshakes to manhugs, and everything in between - nothing I like more. Seeing a person's face is fantastic; hearing their voice I always love; having a hug with them, I treasure. does that work? Loving touch, but yet - keeping myself to myself? Well, it comes down to really being quite insecure about this sort of thing. I've never been good when it comes to risk; I'm always afraid of the bad possibilities that could eventuate. As I've mentioned before, I can imagine them all. In a split second. And touch can quite easily turn into something that's misunderstood, or misinterpreted. Generally speaking, as coming on to someone, or something similar. Displaying some sense of attraction. Depending, of course, on the manner/nature of the touch, person it's with, etc etc.
A handshake is usually fine, though somewhat formal, hence the mateshake. (Term I invented to describe any of the random handshakes invented by people that are more/different to the regular.) Hug can be OK, depending on the person and situation. Generally speaking, the one I like best. Manhug, not as good, but some guys are more comfortable with it. Holding hands - usually means something a bit more. Or it's a game, or helping someone across the road, or some sort of dance. (Which is another thing again - perhaps something I'll do a post on at one point.)

And, of course, sometimes it can mean something more. But it isn't implicit in the method of touch itself, that's something added. A deeper level of meaning, which some are a bit better at picking up than others.

And, of course, each person is different. Some can't stand contact, some can't be without it. Some will agree with me and love hugs most. Some will prefer something else, maybe holding hands. (Wouldn't know, not really something I've done that much.) Then some might like kissing more. (Again, wouldn't know.) Some prefer a soft touch, some one that lingers, or is just as much as can be managed at once. And to each their own.

If you don't believe me about the importance of touch; let me relate to you the story of Cadmus Peverell. It comes from Harry Potter. (All the best metaphors do.) He received from Death a Resurrection Stone; that could bring back people from the dead. He brought back the woman he loved, who had died. And he could see her; he could hear her. But he could not touch her. She was immaterial, a ghost. And so he committed suicide, so that he could really be with her; be of the same form that she was. To hold her.

Now tell me that touch isn't important.

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Why I Blog.

Today, one of my friends mentioned to me that they'd had a look at my blog, particularly the one on my Ten/Eleven Commandments. They said it was really good, and they'd been able to relate it to what they did already quite well.

And, in short, that's why I blog.

To help people.

Help people to smile.
Help people to think.
Help people to laugh.
And, every now and then, maybe even help people to live.

Though really, that's more my whole way of life that I try to live by, not just blogging. But it's good for here too.

And it really strengthens me to know that people are reading what I write, and agreeing with it - identifying with it, either with what they do already, or with what they think they should be. It really encourages me to know that people think of what I have to say as valuable - because after all, if I didn't think that, I wouldn't be writing. You don't write if you don't think you have something to say. (A little secret: everyone has something to say. Just between you and me.)

So thanks to everyone who has been reading, commenting, thinking, laughing, smiling. It helps me a great deal to know that I help you.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

The difference of observation.

Quantum physics is an interesting topic. I'm not a quantum physicist myself, but I do know a couple of things about it. One of the things I do know is Schrödinger's Cat. The idea proposed is that there is a cat, and a box. If you put the cat in the box with a radioactive substance and close the lid, two eventualities are possible. Either the cat will be alive, or it will be dead. Quantum physics says that both occur simultaneously while the box is closed. However, as soon as you open the lid, it resolves into one or the other.

And this actually occurs with electrons - if an electron is shot towards a card with two holes in it and is unobserved, it will go through both simultaneously. If it is observed, it will go through one or the other. The act of observation impacts what is being observed.

Observing something - paying attention to it - makes a big difference. I've found that, to a large degree, if I look at something enough, I can develop an interest in it. Anything from abseiling to zookeeping, really. Presently unsure if that extends to an appreciation of Rebecca Black's Friday.

Jokes, aside, people often judge things before they really take a good look. Most disputes are due to errors in either communication or understanding. If we can fix part of that by simply being more attentive and actively interested in things - is that so difficult?

Friday, 12 October 2012

Chaos of a good kind.

Tonight, I helped out at my church's Youth Group. It's something that I've been approached about helping out with before, but work commitments always made it difficult. At the moment, however...not so much of an issue.

Anyway. They made a massive glad wrap - well, they called it a maze, but it was more like a web. It wasn't like you had walls and there were wrong paths and right paths; it was just lines of plastic going every which way. And we played Sardines, Treasure Hunt, Poison Ball, and Back-to-back walkthroughs in that maze. We had about a dozen kids, and I got the impression that they all had a lot of fun. Oh, and we had one of the games where they had to make the biggest ball of glad wrap. Which was a crafty way of getting them to do the clean up for us. XD It was pretty good.

And next week, some sort of giant board game....I'm very interested, needless to say.

So yeah. It was pretty good. Tonight was the launch night, because we've just gotten a Youth and Young Adults Pastor at our church, which is muchly cool. So it looks like it's got some big things ahead :)

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

On money.

Money is an unfortunate fact of this world. As I believe I've mentioned before, I'd be very happy if I never saw another dollar, note or cent. But, that would make it somewhat difficult to get by each day.

At the moment, money seems to be running ridiculously thin. First of all, we just had a new kitchen hand come in where I work, so I'm now back to two shifts a week - which isn't really enough to get me through the week. Now, I did have a bit of money saved up before. However, I've recently been to Black Stump and Masterchef Live (both absolutely fantastic), and now most of that is gone.

Added to that, recently my car's been playing up a bit. Stalling on me. It's been...quite difficult. So I took it to the mechanics - nearly $300. And he said that by the time I get the rego done (which is December), another $1000 would need to be done. It's an old car.

So, essentially, that's a lot more than the car is worth. Which means we're thinking of getting a new car. Well, not a new new car. Probably a used one, as cheap as we can find that's not going to give us problems. I'm not very good when it comes to car maintenance :P

And I would like to get to this end of year mission that the Christian group at uni does, but that's more money that I don't have. Which makes things...difficult.

So yeah.

Looking for a job. Again. :P (Preferably, not one with the difficulties I've had with my current job.)

Saturday, 6 October 2012

My Ten Commandments.

People know fairly well the Ten Commandments of the Bible. And, to a large degree, they're common sense. As Jesus once said, they can be summed up in two things: Love God, and Love each other.

Thought it would be an idea to put up my own things that I try to live by. Don't know if I'll come up with ten, but we'll see.

1. Love God, love others, love yourself.
That one's borrowed from my church. Think it's a pretty good thing to live by.

2. Be amazing.
Some people think that they aren't that fantastic. But the thing is, everyone can be amazing. Everyone. Perhaps some will be amazing more often than others, but everyone can be. Everyone can strive to be the best - and better - of themselves.

3. Forgive.
Because if you don't, you're carrying a lot of weight around that makes no. 2 slightly difficult. As I've said before, all feelings are made to multiply. Don't let ones like anger, resentment or sadness do that.

4. Be crazy.
Now and then, everyone needs to do a bit of crazy. And what that is will be different for different people. For some, it's doing drumming in a metal band when they're usually shy, or bungee jumping when they have a fear of heights. Me, I've worn a couple of clown costumes and Lycra. The latter was very nice, actually. Makes you feel very flexible.

5. Care.
Always. Now, that doesn't contradict no. 4; you don't worry about what people think when you're doing something crazy. But when people are concerned for you, or someone is hurting, don't ignore it. Care.

6. Be courageous.
Admittedly, this is one I'm still working on. Quite a bit. But bravery and courage in the world of today go a long way.

7. Tell the truth.
Relates to the previous. This doesn't mean attack people with the truth. But it does mean that you shouldn't be hiding the truth from people, or lying to them. Again, something I'm working on.

8. Laugh. :)
In the grimmest of situations, in the darkest of places, in the most hopeless instances - a smile can get you through. A laugh can get you further. Even if you force it out, it's better than nothing. Also why I love the power of comedy.

9. Just hug someone.
Every now and then, you just need a good hug. I'm quite lucky in that I've got a little sister that absolutely loves to share them, so I'm never really short. But if you're feeling sad, down, depressed - a long, slow, quiet hug does wonders.

10. Music.
Listen to it, play it, make it. Music can do amazing things for you. It can change a mood, reinforce one, refresh memories, bring people together. Get into it.

11. Love someone.
I'll throw in an eleventh, because I think this one is well worth throwing in. Love someone. Even if it doesn't work out, even if they never know. Love someone. It's pretty amazing. Not nearly as amazing as someone loving you back, I'm sure - haven't known that yet - but it's still well worth it.

And that's it. Hopefully that's helpful to some people out there. :)

Friday, 5 October 2012

Getting Tired.

It's said here and there that people naturally lie. It's natural for people to tell lies and keep secret, and it takes more effort to tell the truth.

But you know what? Keeping secrets takes effort too. And I'm getting tired.

It's particularly hard when you've had things building up for a while. Which is generally the case with me. Talking about a fair few years, in some cases. And, of course, what makes it harder is that I want to tell people. I would love to tell people absolutely everything, and just not care about it.

But I can't. I can't not care. And that's a good thing, I know. It's just annoying sometimes when it creates these sorts of situations. When you really want to do something, but some other part of you won't let it happen. Fighting yourself is damn hard.

I wrote another post recently. Answering the sort of questions that I always ignore, or misdirect, or something. Then I didn't put it up. Because I wondered why I was doing it. I didn't want to think I had some sort of ulterior motive happening.

Well, too bad. I'm darn we'll putting it up. I'm tired. That's why I'm doing it. And there ain't no ulterior motive here. It got kicked off to Timbuktu. Seems to happen.

And yes, I'll be OK. I'm a bit tired, annoyed and such at the moment, but I'll be OK. And Mozart, this is the one I already talked to you about. Don't worry too much.

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Falling On Deaf Ears.

Was at a talent contest last night with the uni that I go to. Got in the top 15 (which is what that night was) out of about 30ish. Most of them on the night were solo singers, with two groups, a few dancers, a couple playing and singing, a duet, and an actor. And me, doing What I Say/What I Play.

I played it fairly well. Mucked it up pretty bad at the end, which was annoying. But over all was pretty good. But afterwards, one of the other people (that I knew vaguely from school) mentioned that you couldn't hear all the words I was saying.


Unfortunately, one of the biggest problems with comedy is communication. If it's anything else, they can think, "Well, it sounds really nice, so it's good!" But if they know it's comedy, they expect to be laughing. If you can't tell what I'm saying, it's not going to be funny. There are only a very few exceptions to that, and then I would say they fall more under phsyical than textual comedy. But it is certainly a problem that I've come across a few times before - as you may recall, it was also what hindered me back when I tried for AGT. And it's also been mentioned once or twice when I've done more meaningful stuff, when again the lyrics are quite important.

It's a bit annoying, really. :P

Monday, 1 October 2012


There was something I found somewhat amusing that I experienced this weekend.

I was at a 21st birthday party of a good friend of mine. Now, as you may recollect, I'm not much of a party man. At parties, I tend to wander around aimlessly, doing squat. Particularly when I know next to nobody at the party. Which was the case here. (Funnily enough, actually met someone who had done my music course, but a year above me. But wasn't much else.)

So, strangely enough, I found myself drawn over to the piano. This has happened before at a few social events.
And I started tinkering away. You know, Piano Man. Good one to start off with. Someone else came in, asked me to play something else. I played Hallelujah. They said I was pretty good. They asked what else I could play. .... I said, pretty much anything. So they got a song off their iPod, and asked me to play that. Got it eventually - the hardest part is usually the key, the chord progression wasn't too difficult. Then they did that with a couple more. Then they said, OK, if you can do this one, you're amazing. It was the Four Chords sequence. :P Needless to say, I got it quite quickly. A couple of others gave me another song later with the same thing happening.

Needless to say, I find it somewhat amusing that people outside of the - music sphere, if you will - can be impressed by me recognising and playing along to the Four Chords sequence. That's not terribly impressive. Not saying that I didn't do anything impressive. I did teach a one-handed version of Fur Elise to someone who was half-drunk. At least half. She did pretty well, actually; think she might have a bit of musical aptitude.

But anyway. Think that's probably a general thing; when people don't understand what's happening, it's quite easy to impress them. After all, that's how most magic works.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012


 This is the start of a story. Thinking of maybe doing it as an audio-story-type-thing, because it's sounding like that sort of thing. Yeah. This is all I've got so far. Note: this is an alternate reality, not a possible future. These people are born this way, not because of technology.

People say that you can do anything if you try. Except, of course, that's never quite true, is it? A blind person can't see. A deaf person can't hear. A person without legs can't walk. If they can, then they're not blind, or deaf, or whatever. And it's the same with me. I can't think. I mean, I can think, but - OK, I'm going to need to explain this a bit.

You know how everyone communicates thoughts, just by touching? I mean, if they don't want to it doesn't happen, it's not like they instantly have access to all your secrets or anything - but, yeah, you know what I mean. You just have to touch someone, and you can communicate any sort of thought to them. It could be a word, a sound, a feeling, a picture, you name it. Some people with crazy memories make a business out of sharing entire movies and songs with people.

Well - I can't do that. I can't communicate thoughts to other people, and they can't get anything to me. And I've tried. Trust me, I've tried. And I've been to a dozen different specialists, doctors, psychologists, everything. But nothing. I can tell when other people are trying to get through - but it just doesn't work. It's like there's a wall around my brain, and no-one can get in or out. And I hate it.

I mean, sure, it means I don't get the overload headaches from ETP (oh, Excessive Thought Pile-up), as well as a couple of other things everyone else has to deal with - but that's a pretty massive price to pay. And, as far as I know, it's just me. I'm alone.

A blind argument.

Leonardo da Vinci is a pretty cool guy. No questions asked.
But he makes an interesting argument in one of his writings. He says that if poets can call painting mute poetry, he can call poetry blind painting. He then claims that the eye is the king of the senses, and thus would prefer being 'mute' over 'blind'.

Firstly, I've argued previously for my order of the senses (though speech isn't a sense, but more a faculty; but it would come in third).
Secondly, however, words can incite the imagination in greater ways than pictures can. Pictures may captivate an audience more immediately and fully - such is the nature of vision - but words may suggest a million different things, while the painting can only ever be what it is. A person, in reading a story or poetry, will inevitably let his imagination picture it in a way that will be unique to him; while the viewer of a painting, if he imagines what the painting is to mean (which some do not) - then these word imaginings inspired by the painting will not compare to the visual imaginings inspired by the words.
Though, painting and pictures certainly have their place. They can convey in a moment what it can take a writer many pages to depict sufficiently. They can also, however, leave much unsaid that words will not; or have excessive information that is not seen in the text either.

However, if one may be called 'mute', and the other 'blind' - perhaps both are also 'deaf', and it is only music that can hear. And, while it may be blind and mute - these I would prefer over something that is deaf. For, while something that is not blind can see people's faces always; and something that is not mute talk to them always; something that is not deaf can hear them always, hear their stories, their sorrows, their joys and triumphs. And that is one blessing that I would not sacrifice.

Monday, 24 September 2012

You asked for it.

As I've mentioned countless times, I can be a bit of an introverted, secretive, shy person. And I appear to be as such even more than I am.
Along that line, there are many questions that I've been asked before that I just don't answer - or, at least, not truthfully.

In short, I'm trying to turn over a bit of a leaf. Well, more of a cement slab, but you get the drift. Generally speaking, I'm attempting to be a more honest and open person. I've taken a couple of steps towards that, but I thought that it was important that I put this up.

Some of the more frequent questions that I've historically answered either dismissively or inaccurately: what have you been up to? How are you doing? Do you have a girlfriend/have you? Do you like someone? Do you like person XYZ? Do you think person XYZ is hot? What's your favorite song?
Yes, there's a bit of a bias there in the questions. If you know me at all, that shouldn't be too surprising.
And now, I will answer each of those questions, without saying "I won't answer that."

I usually say "nothing". It's never nothing. There are always details and little things I could tell you about. I just generally assume that people want a short answer to that question. That's the only fairly honest short answer to that question I've found as yet.

Generally, I'll say "good". Almost all of the time, I am. I'm good at being hopeful and such. But most of the time, it's also more complex than that. Hint: if you want to get a better answer out of me, "Are you OK?" is a better question to ask.

I do not have a girlfriend, and I never have.

That would depend on how you define 'like'. (Well, it probably doesn't, but I think it's important that people actually know what I'm talking about.) 'Like' can mean anything from saying this girl's a friend, to I like her personality, to I like her body, to I love her. People generally seem to mean some lesser form of the latter. I tend to prefer it as it's meant to mean - romance, falling in love, you get the picture. Don't want to get you too excited. In short, yes, I've fallen in love before. No, you don't get to know who. ;) That's one I will still keep to myself, thank you very much.

Going along a similar line on 'like' in the previous point. In that sense, it would depend on who XYZ was, of course. If it's just meant to ask whether I find them attractive or not - there's a fair possibility of it, I know a lot of very good looking girls.

*sigh* Hot. Right. I prefer to not use that word, because it tends to be referring more to the bodies of people - almost as objects. I prefer to use the word 'beautiful'. No, I'm not just saying beautiful on the inside. There is that as well, but you can certainly also look beautiful. Difference between hot and beautiful: the former focuses on below the neck, and the latter focuses on above it. Not that they ignore the rest, they just focus there. Do I consider said person beautiful? Quite possibly, I know a lot of beautiful girls. Still attempting to figure out if that's a general thing with girls, a general reaction of guys to girls, or me being generous, or me being fortunate. *shrugs* Do I consider said person hot? See previous note on attractive. I consider them synonyms. Well, not quite, but that'll do for now.

I often say that either I don't have one, or I have different ones for different things. (Like sad song, happy song, instrumental, etc.) Latter is true, but I do have an absolute favourite, if you want to call it that. May be slightly clichéd/cheesy, but I don't care. Oh, and the video for it is pretty darn good too. Vanilla Twilight, by Owl City.

And that's it. If you have another question - apart from who I love/have loved, because I won't answer that - feel free to post it/email me/PM me or something.


Wednesday, 19 September 2012


Had a visit to the psychologist today. With this Asperger's thing, attempting to get an actual diagnosis.

Essentially, the word is this - my personality is more or less Aspie, but I don't necessarily have all the traits of your typical person with Asperger's. So the way I think about things etc is very much Aspie (and I'll always have that, really), but with how I do things/feel things and such, not so much.

So yeah, that's the essential idea. He said I didn't have a problem with too much really, mainly just the social stuff. And more the implementation tham the knowing it. Which is...pretty much what I thought straight off the bat, so that's cool.

And from now, the idea is that I'll be catching up with him one-on-one, and he'll be helping out with a few of those social things. Which I think will be realy good :)

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

It could've been me...

In recent times, I've seen a couple of people I know quite well get fairly famous on a couple of prominent music talent shows here in Oz. And, of course, having tried for Australia's Got Talent earlier this year, part of my brain goes: that could've been you.

If you'd gone on to The Voice, or X Factor, and sung someone else's song - instead of singing your own silly song, just singing someone else's, you could've gotten in. And you could've done well. Maybe you would be famous by now. Maybe you wouldn't have to worry about a job for next year. Maybe you'd have thousands of young screaming female fans. Maybe you'd have dozens of girls asking you to marry them every day...

Erch. Had to stop before I vomited.

Needless to say, that's not really a voice I listen to, for a few pretty good reasons.

Firstly, because I've always said that if I'm going to become well known, it will be off my own songs. My own ideas and messages.

Secondly, I've said a million times, I love making people laugh. I made people laugh with what I did, even if it was just the high voice gag.

Thirdly, I've never had a great desire to be well known, or famous. I'd love for my songs to be well known, and for their message to be spread around to millions of people. But I'm very happy living in relative hermitude.

Fourthly, I couldn't deal with heaps of young girls screaming over me. Some - most - guys would probably love that. They go out of their way to get all the girls attention, and now they have all they could ever want. Me, I would never be able to cope with the gaggle of girls. Just in case people weren't already aware of that :P Never been too interested in impressing all the girls. In my mind, I want to be attracting one girl, not heaps. And you'd think they would find me more interesting as I am, rather than showing off.


NB: not diminishing from their success in any way. Fantastic for them, massive kudos etc due. It's just not my cup of tea. And in some ways, I'm glad I'm not drinking it.

Monday, 17 September 2012

I feel...

How do I feel?

I feel small.

I live on a pale blue dot in a universe as close to infinite as we can imagine, which is ever expanding. That tiny dot barely covers a tenth of a pixel in a picture of our whole solar system. Which is one of possibly billions in just our galaxy, which is one of further billions in the known universe. If you compared the size of the Earth to just one of the biggest stars we've found - if the earth were a golf ball, this star would be the size of Mount Everest.

And I feel tired.

Tired of a world that is full of sadness, and pain, and suffering, and war, and anger, and people hurting each other. Tired of the burdens and the sorrows that this world forces onto me. Aching for rest.

And I feel scared.

Scared of a world that could blow itself up many times over. That could poison the waters, the skies, the earth; and in some ways has already started to. That could trace everything that I say and do without me knowing. That could create some sort of biochemical weapon and kill us all.

And I feel cold.

Cold in an endless winter. Cold in an unfeeling world. In a world that does not embrace me, and would never want to.


More than that.

I am loved.

Loved by an endless, amazing, warming, rejuvenating, uplifting, courageous, crazy love that is so much greater than anything that I may feel.

And I want other people to know that they are loved too.

Not that they can be loved, or they might be loved - they are loved, and loved so much!

And that's you.  


You are loved. And that is the truth.

You might feel small. Or tired. Or scared. Or cold.

But you are loved.

Saturday, 15 September 2012


Generally speaking, I'm one of the more patient, laid-back people you'll come across. I'm the kind of person that often waits for an opportunity, and then it never comes around. But there are times that I've waited for hours....days....months....years....not many things fall into that last category, as you may guess.

But at the moment, I'm trying to make a change in myself. And, of course. I'm feeling impatient. Figures.

Thing is, it's not really the kind of thing you can rush. Because it's not doing something, it's not doing something. I mean, to not do something - depending on what it is you're attempting to not do - you often have to put in a few safeguards, failsafes, contingencies and such to help you out. Have someone else there to help you through it. Send a word or three up to God fairly often.

But you can't really rush it. You have to wait it out. Play the long game.

Hopefully, it's the last one I'll have to play that's this hard. Because I have a feeling that this will take a lot longer than I'd like.

But I'm hoping that at least this time I'll play it out until the end.

Being torn.

I've posted relatively frequently about the various ups and downs of my job, so chances are you know them pretty well by now.

On the one side, one of the things I hate most in life is feeling rushed. This occurs frequently, particularly on Thursday nights or later during the week. Most people love it when it's busy, cause then it's over quick. I love it when it's empty, cause then I'm not rushed (and I can actually keep up better :P). It's something I really really don't like, because generally speaking, it's the closest I'll ever get to being angry. And as I've mentioned before, I don't really get angry. And I don't like getting angry.
The pay is also not really that great. I mean, at the moment, it's more than enough. But if I was needing to be independent, have my own place - not a chance.

On the other hand, it's a fantastic place to be. You get to see how the chefs work, learn so much about cooking and the food business. You get to try some of the food now and then, if they're experimenting or something. You get dinner for no charge, and fizzy drink for free. (Doesn't mean you can take a bottle home.)
And they're fantastic people to work with. The other kitchen hands, the chefs, the pizza guys, the waiters/tresses - there's some really great people there, that are good friends. And we can have some great talks sometimes.

So it's a bit annoying. If I could do Monday/Tuesday night every night, maybe I'd be happy. Though for next year, the pay would really still be a problem. *sighs* So it looks like I'll need to find another job out there somewhere. That doesn't need qualifications, doesn't need experience, and isn't rushed.
I know I'm an optimist, but I'm not liking my chances at present. :P

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Friends in strange places.

Something I've noticed - which I think is a general thing - is that when you are used to seeing someone in a particular context, if they're taken out of that context, you often don't see them.

There's a number of times that I've seen friends at work, or in the shops, or somewhere else. And I'll smile and wave (or something like that), but they won't notice me there. Most of the time, at least; every now and then you get someone who does notice, which is nice.
Thought about doing a mini skit based around that idea at some point.

So, I don't know. Maybe that means that we need to be more observant. Perhaps look for things in places that we don't necessarily expect them. Though then, I suppose, it would be less of a surprise when they came around, if you were expecting it.
Oh well. You can't win, can you.

Monday, 10 September 2012

The sunglasses mentality.

This is a post I've had in mind for a while, thought I'd finally get around to writing it.
NB: I know a few good people who are of the sunglasses mentality, or a better variation thereof. Not attempting to dismiss them as wrong, or anything like that. They can make it work and do what I try and do, I can only manage the one. And I guess they don't really take it quite as seriously as what I'm talking about. Which is good.

I'm not a fan of sunglasses. Or even glasses, myself, but particularly sunglasses. Why? Because, if you have your sunglasses on, I can't see your eyes. I have no idea where your eyes are looking, I have no idea what your eyes are saying, and I don't know what your eyes are looking like at the moment. And I like to be able to know those three things. Eyes are extremely important for communication. They're also one of the more attractive features of the face, and the face has some pretty good looking features. As such, I pretty much never wear sunglasses myself. Only sometimes when I'm driving and the sun is right in my eyes, and I can't really see.

But as well as that, the sunglasses are another layer in between me and you. A separating layer, it distances us from each other. And if someone is putting on sunglasses all the time, it does make you wonder whether they're trying to somewhat remove themselves from the world. (Another NB: I do actually know people who need to wear sunglasses because their eyes aren't fantastic. Not a problem.)

And, of course, then there's the "cool" factor. Sunglasses make you "cool". What is "cool", really? What does it actually mean? Well, most of the time, if I'm saying that I'm cool, it's putting myself above you, apart from you. Now, there are times when A will say that B is cool, and B will then say that A is pretty cool too. But, generally speaking, apart from the elite of bros and such, there's a fairly clear division between "cool" and "not cool".

And with me, I don't like being divided or apart from people, particularly. It's kinda something I did a fair bit when I was younger - and I still sometimes do it now, but I really don't want to, and I certainly don't like to. I like being with people, together with people, sharing with people, laughing with people, smiling, playing, having fun. That's me, anyway.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Election Day.

(Pre-note: I'm not sure how much of this I'm actually allowed to put up, particularly with the counting stuff. However, given you can find this stuff in other places, I'm going to assume that it's fine for now.)

Worked as an Election Official yesterday at the Local Council elections. Place I was working at was actually just down the road, which was handy. 7:15am start, 10:30 finish. A pretty long day. There were four of us at that location, all up. Just four. Apparently, we had close to 1800 people go through there.

It's something I did at the last elections as well - can't remember if it was State or Federal - and I quite enjoyed it. You get to deal with people - and lots of people - and there's so many interesting names! (And yes, there was close to a page of Smiths. And they fit a lot of names on one page.) And as well as that, the way all the organisation and such works actually works pretty well with how my brain functions, so I find it fairly simple. While some weren't sure what the difference was between SATLs and RATLs, I had all the BTLs categorised. (SATL is Single Above The Line, one mark above the line; RATL is Random Above The Line, any more than one above the line; BTL is Below The Line, at least two marks below the line. It is actually a somewhat complex system, but it does make sense. BTLs actually had to be categorised according to individual candidates, while SATLs and RATLs only according to party. There are about 20 candidates or so, but only six parties.)

Though, of course, there's also the informal votes (or 'donkey' votes). And that ranges from blank, to people putting a line across the lot, to putting multiple unnumbered marks in boxes above the line, to derogatory comments/displays of artistic license. We had one guy who wrote, "Sorry, I didn't vote!" which was somewhat amusing. Note: SATLs, RATLs and BTLs get sorted and counted. Informals get dumped into a massive pile under the table and then just counted.

We also had quite a few hiccups. First up, having only four there, we didn't have anyone to replace us for a break. We had to wait until there wasn't really anyone coming in to have our break. Secondly, what a lot of people didn't realise is that there isn't really out of area voting for Local elections. There is for State and Federal, but not Local. Imagine trying to keep copies of forms for every area at every area. There's just too many areas. And the paperwork with this sort of thing is already monumental. (One of the many reasons I think this should become an automated electronic system. Save the trees! :P) So yes, we had a lot of people who didn't realise that, and tried to vote for the Sydney area or whatever. Then, we actually did three different areas within the one; we're in the Camden Area, but within that, there are three Wards - South, North, and Central. We were mainly South, but we also took North and Central. The two Election Officials took the South, the one Declaration Vote Issuing Officer took North and Central. A lot of people had no clue what the Wards were, thought Camden was just the one area. Tis slightly confusing.

Oh, and we had a fair few candidates/friends of them outside handing out fliers, with big posters, all that sort of thing. You know, the mandatory stuff.

So yeah, I found it pretty good. Guess I quite like that sort of work. Certainly prefer it somewhat to my work as a Kitchen Hand. Got no idea what exactly would be closest to that sort of work on a more regular basis, though.

Friday, 7 September 2012

I'm not leaving without you, Sam!

It seemed like an emotional-Frodo line. Pretty sure that isn't one of the lines from Lord of the Rings, but you know.
Moving on!

Was in Bible study the other day, and were watching a video by this pastor, talking about this friend of his. And he mentioned that one time he had said to him, "I'm not going to heaven without you." And this really hit his friend quite solidly, it was a comment that affected him quite a bit. As an aside, this wasn't a random comment said with no previous spiritual/theological conversation - they'd been friends for many years, and he'd gradually warmed to him over that time.

But I suppose it's a phrase that resonated with me, as well. Because I certainly know some good friends of mine that I'd hate going to heaven without. You know, I'd love to see them as Christians - I know some amazing people, and it blows my mind to think how amazing they could be if they were serving the Lord; how much of a blessing they would be to his Kingdom.

But, you know. With the way this world goes. Chances are, a lot of them won't become Christians. And that won't make me any less their friend, heck no. I'm not like that, not in a million years. It's not me.

And, you know, I've never been great at evangelising. In any sense, really - whether it's a theological discussion, doing walk-up at campus with the uni group, manning the CBM stall, or just talking to my friends about Jesus - I'm not exactly the best. In discussions, most of my opinions are copy-and-paste from other people; in walk-up, I tend to be fairly withdrawn, and similarly at stalls; and I've essentially never talked to a friend about Jesus. Well, I've never broached the topic myself. There's a couple of times people have asked me about it in passing, but I've tended to not really touch on it much.

And, you know, not all those types of evangelising are necessarily the best option. It should just be about being a friend to someone - being real with them. And part of that is being real about who you are, as a Christian. It's not about answering a million questions, or presenting what Christianity is in four dot points. It's about living. Relationships. Stories.

And I suppose, I'm not so great at that, either. I want to be. But, as I tend to rant on frequently, I'm not so good at communication, my social skills aren't great, etc etc. I don't really know many people's stories. At all. Even people I would call very good friends - I don't necessarily know a heck of a lot about them, or what their life's been like. And that saddens me somewhat, I think. Because I'd like to know. I love a good story. Ripe with all the details. You know, from things like what their favourite colour is, to things like why they aren't interested in God. Or whatever.

But yeah. Looks like I've strayed a bit from my original idea. Oh well.