Always care. Never worry.

This is something that I put up on Facebook just the other day (the post title, that is).
And to me, it's something I've seen as quite obvious for a fair while. It irked me a little that people didn't seem to know the difference between the two words - they would say "I don't care," when they mean "I don't worry." There are times when people mean the former, of course. But there's a substantial difference between the two. The former is uncaring, negative and apathetic. The latter is unfettered, positive and freeing.

But someone commented on it, saying that it was my motto.

I've had a few mottos here and there. When the guy from Australia's Got Talent asked me what it was, I said that it was "keep laughing." Which is a great thing to remember; it gets you through the hard times in life. Another one I have on the wall of my room is "Listen. Remember. Love." Things that I was finding difficult, and I wanted to work on. The one I have on my blog is one for all of my creative-type stuff - "Inspire other people, Create something new, and Express what's inside." I've got a post explaining that here: http://modnarama.blogspot.com.au/2011/03/inspiration-creation-expression.html
And I think there's more that I can't remember.

But this isn't one that really crossed my mind. But it works.

It isn't necessarily what I'm really good at. But I do try.
There are days when I find it difficult to care about things, and worries just keep on shouting at me and demanding my attention. These days, that's becoming more frequent.
But I always know that this is true, and good.

Always care.
Never worry.

:)

Er....win-win?

There's a bit of a philosophy that says that we should fight for a win-win. Not a compromise; win-win. We tend to lean towards win-lose or lose-win, depending on how assertive or not we are. It's the belief in a third alternative; making it work for everybody.

And I like to believe that, as long as you don't constrain your parameters too much, this can be true in any given instance.

The trick is, though, that we're not always going to be able to find it. Or someone else that's in the equation doesn't believe in win-win; they can only see it from their way. It has to go one way or the other.

And when that happens, it becomes very difficult. And before you know it, instead of looking for how everybody can win, you're looking for how everyone can lose the least.

And it's hard to stay positive in those sorts of situations. But hopefully, next time it will be better. Next time, we know what not to do, or what to do, to give ourselves a better chance at finding that win-win.

Of course, you can't really find a win-win if you don't know what the other person wants. You can think you've found a great solution, but what you've come up with the other person may not really like at all.

It's a bit of a tricky dynamic to get the feel of. I certainly don't have it quite yet. Suppose it will come with experience, to a large degree.

Another Lonely Night.

The chair creaks as it turns. It is old and tired; each inch of movement brings forth a squeak of protest.
The headphones magnify the sound of my blood pumping, and that of static silence.
The keys depress; like my mind tends to of late. They clump and tap out a rhythm that I command, but the language forms and molds.
My breathing is slow, deliberate. Not quite relaxed; these days, that is rare indeed.

It is not the busyness that bothers me. I crave busyness; I need it, I need distraction, I need diversion.
It is not being able to be busy with some of the things that I love to do;
And that in those times when I am not busy, I am alone.
And undistracted.
Undiverted.
And my thoughts simply wander to that same place.

That place will be hard enough to go once in my life.
I have lived it a hundred times over, and yet not even the once.
And so I long for proper busyness, diversion, distraction.

Though I know that will never solve the problem, but simply delay it.
I know that well. I know all the arguments. It's what I do.
Among many things.
But this is one problem that I cannot see how it can be solved. By me, at least.

Thankfully, it's not up to me to solve it.
But he doesn't always say yes. And he doesn't always say it right now, or when we want him to.
But at least he has an answer. Because that's better than me right now.

A new Doctor?

The BBC/Doctor Who have just announced that Matt Smith (the current doctor, for those not privy) will be hanging up his bow tie at the end of the year.

Part of me is wondering if this is somewhat of a ploy, but I'm not sure...they do like to be secretive, but I don't know what would warrant this sort of lie. So I'm *guessing* that it's real.

Which, to me - and, as I've heard, many other fans - is a bit of a disappointment. The Doctor/Clara storyline seems to me still in need of a fair bit of exploring. I'm sure there'll be a bit of that in the special later in the year, but it does seem like a bit of a premature end to me. He still seems like the new guy. They e only done a short season of him with Clara, and the new opening titles that specifically feature him. Just seems to be a lot of length to go to if he's leaving so soon.

Suppose that's also why I wondered if it was actually the case or not. I very much hope that if it is the case, the new Doctor we're looking at won't be this in-between not-Doctor. He seems to be more of an antagonist than a protagonist. I think they could do a spin-off series on him, but not as the main character in Doctor Who. It's just the completely wrong vibe.

At least, that's my opinion. I suppose we'll have to wait a while to see what happens. Bring on November!

Possibility-proof.

As you may be aware, there are a lot of child protection legislations, policies and the like in place. Particularly in regards to student/teacher, student/staff or similar interactions. That even goes for places like youth group, as an aside.

And they're meant to be helpful - either to the students/kids, or to the teachers/leaders/staff. That is the idea. Either to stop the kids from being hurt, or stopping the staff from getting sued.

Personally? I think the first is great, but the second shouldn't exist.

If you're more worried about what's going to happen to yourself than the kids, then you're in the wrong line of work. Thing is, it's not really up to us to make that decision.

Which makes things really annoying/difficult/downright sad when you get to the end of an epic week with a great group of girls, and you're not even supposed to be allowed to give them a hug. If they run up and hug you, you're supposed to essentially put your hands up in the air.

It's shit.

Just saying.

Like vs Respect

There's an idea that came up at Tafe that I mulled over a bit the other day, and I thought I'd have a look at it here.

One of the other trainees mentioned that they have this saying at work; that it's better to be respected, than to be liked. It's much better to earn the kids' (as an aside, we need a better word for kids than kids, it sounds almost derogatory) respect than to try and be liked by them.

And, to that extent, I agree, certainly. I think that's a great thing to focus on.

However, I think some people seem to have a strange idea of "respect".

To me, respect is gained by what people are - people that are honest; have integrity; are passionate; courageous; joyful; characterful; and loving.

Respect is not gained by people being strict; commanding; controlling; angry; or forceful. There are people who have some of these characteristics who have my respect - but despite them, not because of them.

I'm not attempting to say that leaders attempting to be respected are all of the latter and none of the former. Far from it. But it is a bit of a different way of looking at it, to me.

Because there are leaders who will say, "This needs to happen." And literally stand there until it does. They will do things to tell the kids that they are the boss. But that doesn't get respect; certainly not from me, at any rate. That tells me that they're either stubborn, bigheaded, or trying to be.

That doesn't mean that there aren't instances where you need kids to listen, and to really focus on what you're saying and do what you're asking them to do. But there are ways to do that without raising a voice; without threatening anyone; without needing the bad cop.

Sure, it might seem like a slower, harder road at first. But any roads worth taking typically are.