There's a bit of a philosophy that says that we should fight for a win-win. Not a compromise; win-win. We tend to lean towards win-lose or lose-win, depending on how assertive or not we are. It's the belief in a third alternative; making it work for everybody.
And I like to believe that, as long as you don't constrain your parameters too much, this can be true in any given instance.
The trick is, though, that we're not always going to be able to find it. Or someone else that's in the equation doesn't believe in win-win; they can only see it from their way. It has to go one way or the other.
And when that happens, it becomes very difficult. And before you know it, instead of looking for how everybody can win, you're looking for how everyone can lose the least.
And it's hard to stay positive in those sorts of situations. But hopefully, next time it will be better. Next time, we know what not to do, or what to do, to give ourselves a better chance at finding that win-win.
Of course, you can't really find a win-win if you don't know what the other person wants. You can think you've found a great solution, but what you've come up with the other person may not really like at all.
It's a bit of a tricky dynamic to get the feel of. I certainly don't have it quite yet. Suppose it will come with experience, to a large degree.
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