Complicated.

Wouldn't it be nice

If A led to B

And B led to C

(Perhaps then maybe back to A)

Then that was the end of the story?

But that isn't how it plays

It's a touch more complex, I'm afraid

Because it likes to stop off at K and J along the way

Invite two to T, or even maybe three

Stay in Q for a bit longer than you'd like

Find that X hits the spot

And that many roads lead to B - or not to be?

Y gets revisited continuously

And U can pop in now and then

(Or even W, if you like mirrors)

G, that's quite nice - 

And O, what a great place

Though V can leave you low

Misadventures to F occur regularly

H seems to set the bar

And a bit more Z is always required

Before we reach N

And it leaves us....

Wondering.....

Confused

Why next year will be different.

Hello again.

So I've managed to actually get around to doing this post, finally.

As I've mentioned once or twice, I've been working as a camp/Duke of Ed leader/guide through the course of this year. That has also included undertaking a Certificate III in Outdoor Recreation at TAFE.

Now, I could go over all the ins and outs of it, but I don't think that's what I need to do. It's an awesome job, and I don't want other people to be put off it by my own experiences.

But I'm going to give you the gist of it.

Like I said, I absolutely love doing what I'm doing. I get to see some amazing places, spend time with some great people, and help young guys and girls with this sort of thing. (Have a look at my post on Life Skills/Camp Skills for more on that.) I get to work outside and not get stuck in an office, keep active as part of my job, and keep learning and being challenged. And if people are thinking about having a go at something like this, I'd really encourage them to give it a look.

But.

I've got three passions in life. God, music/creativity, and people. Both people in general, and my friends and family.
Because of the vast amount of time and energy that my job demands, I can't give those three passions the time and energy that I really want to give them.

And for me, that's really hard.
I haven't been able to catch up with friends like I'd like to. I mean, I'm not exactly a social character, but I'd like to be able to keep in touch with people a bit more. And I really don't see my family as much as I'd like, and I live with them. And, being as old as I am (nearly 21), that time is probably diminishing fairly rapidly.
I haven't had a gig this whole year, and I've written a grand total of three songs. There have been times that I've written multiple songs in the space of a week. I haven't done any drama stuff this year either, and I haven't been able to write nearly as much (blog or otherwise) as I'd like.
And I haven't been able to get to Youth Group each week, or Bible study each week, or even church each week. And I haven't been able to help out at church to the degree that I really want to. And to me, even if music and people were OK, God is so vitally important that I can't compromise on that.

As such, I'm finishing up at the end of the year. I might be doing a bit of casual work here and there with them next year - a couple of camps that I've really enjoyed doing - but apart from that, I've started to look for other work. Nothing as yet. Facing the same challenge as last year, really.
Finding a somewhat flexible part-time job that isn't retail or fast food, you don't need experience or qualifications for, isn't heavy lifting/manual labour, isn't ages away, and pays more than peanuts (though I have worked for that before) is pretty tricky.

But yeah, that's where I'm at at present. Just to let you fellows know.

A Challenge To Change.

I've mentioned that next year is going to be a bit different. Why that is, is still another post away.

But I thought I'd write a bit about some of how it's going to be different, what I want to do differently. And some stuff that can't wait until next year.

A big bunch of it is just getting me back up to scratch, and then a bit extra. In many, many different things. Mentally, physically, creatively, you name it. Bits of it I'm getting from Redesign My Brain, a TV miniseries that's just started up on the ABC with Todd Sampson. Really good.
As such, I'm planning to do ten minutes of juggling practice (which helps with both your brain and creativity), ten minutes of brain training, a forty minute run, half an hour writing, and half an hour on music a day. Obviously at the moment a bit tricky, but when I'm not working, that's the plan. That adds up to two hours total just for this, an eighth of my waking hours (if I get my eight hours sleep).

But as well as that, I also want to keep up my relationship with God, and grow it as well. So reading a chapter of the Bible in the morning and the evening (evening specific, morning random), and set aside praying time after each. Also hoping to getting into having devotional/journal type thing happening soonish maybe.

And then there's other stuff as well that I'm wanting to do, like a daily blog post, maybe a weekly video/vlog, cooking regularly, as well as another bunch at my church. That last is worth another post again.

Next year, I'm hoping to have all of this happening. But I also know that the best way to start things is from yesterday. It's very easy to say that you'll start things in two weeks, or a month, or next year - but to get into it here and now, there's the challenge. Particularly when you know the obstacles you've got in front of you.

And some of these things are really important, and have really gotten quite lax this year, particularly where my head's at. So that's something I'm going to do my best to get into pretty much now.

Maybe next time, my post will say that I'm juggling like a pro ;)

Deja Vu.

Recently, I've been having a lot of instances where things have been happening that are eerily familiar, particularly to the end of last year. Been feeling a fair bit of that deja vu, I suppose you could say.

I've got a fair few friends that are finishing up year 12 this year, which is awesome. And they've all basically finished and done, bar their HSC, which is pretty cool. And I'm sure they're all going to do well for that :) Hopefully, after they're done, they'll feel a bit more relaxed and such. HSC tends to stress people a bit. Then they get to have heaps of time on their hands, muck around a bit, catch up with friends, before they launch themselves into uni/job/gap year/whatever they're thinking of. It's good. :)

Then I'm finding myself looking at jobs as well. (More on the reason for that in another post.) I can remember that all too well from last year. Not particularly fun. My theory; jobs fall into a few different categories: A. Not great pay, not great hours, menial tasks. B. Decent pay, OK hours, really hard to get into, want you to be interested long-term. C. Short-term job, starting immediately. D. Someone already has the job.
I haven't found my E. yet; OK hours, pay and work, that doesn't expect me to stay on for ages. Which is annoying. Ideally, I'd like something local as well (Campbelltown/Narellan/Camden area), but that might be a bit much to ask for.
I seem to be very picky when it comes to jobs. :P I won't do fast food stuff, can't do retail (terrible at selling things), can't do things that need fast pace, or is just the same menial task over and over, and I don't want to be locked in to a career path that I'm not really that interested in.
It probably also doesn't help that I'm not interested in money. But the world is, so that's how it is for now.

And I also find myself quite looking forward to this year. Admittedly....that was the case near the end of last year, and this year hasn't been exactly what I'd expected/hoped. (Again, for a later post.)
But, this time, I think I see a lot of possibility. I'm hoping to get involved more at church, perhaps join the Community Connections team, oversee Display, perhaps even run a Life Group, be more involved at Youth Group; write a lot more music, get back into gigging, get a couple of these projects that I've been thinking of happening; hopefully get back into drama as well, get involved in some musicals/plays, maybe even write one, like I've been thinking about for a while (got one play in the works, actually); and just get in touch with my friends and family a lot more, as well. I've really missed all of that, and I'm looking forward to getting back into it next year. And as well, just finding myself somewhat - I think I've lost a bit of where I should be at, on a few different levels, and that's something I'd really like to work at.

So yeah. Similar to last year in some ways, and perhaps a bit different in others. 21 in 54 days. Out on camp. Had my 18th birthday away from home as well. Tis interesting. Hopefully should be good. :)