On Reasons Why.

This will be more of a ramble than usual, because I don't really have something specific I'm wanting to say. Just....needed to write. Wanted to write about this. We'll see how we go.

I've recently been chugging through 13 Reasons Why. The Netflix series, not the book. Sorry book fans, haven't quite gotten to it yet. I will one day. I'd known it was around for a while - but was put off watching it because I'd heard that the depictions of suicide and rape were pretty intense. (Which they are, especially the former. I couldn't watch that at all.) But the story drew me in - and the main character. Nice having an Aspie protagonist now and then. Though it is becoming more common, admittedly. And yes, I feel like me and Clay are rather similar in some ways. Feel a connection to Hannah as well - possibly because she's an Aussie actress (in case you didn't know that).

NB: This isn't a review of the show, but if you haven't seen it, I may mention things that are spoilery. We'll see.

I find the basic premise rather....interesting. That someone, before they die, records their story on to a series of tapes to be sent around to a list of people. I find it interesting because it's rather familiar. One of my big things is always about being able to tell my story, share my life. And one of my struggles is feeling like nobody really listens. No one's really there. I know that's not true. But it's hard when you put a massive amount of work into an album, tell everyone you're doing an album launch, and a couple of dozen people show up. Just - as an example. I guess I can understand the attraction of being able to tell your story so - completely, to a captive audience. I think that's one of the reasons that I long for a relationship, as well. Just being able to spend time together, sharing stories, learning about each other. I've never really been able to do that, not often.

There's a few things that I also really like about it. For instance, it makes a clear distinction between what consent should look like and what it isn't, twice for both. For those who are unsure: something as simple as asking "Is this okay?" early, and regularly as things get more heated. If the answer is anything but a clear "Yes!" - then you don't have consent. Simple as that.

It also really talks about everything being related, interconnected, chaining together. How everything affects everything else. Being rather Walter-ish (a la The Finder, for those who know it), I appreciate that. Think there's a lot of truth to it.

Oh, also, I really liked what they did with Jeff. It was only after he had gone that I realised he was only around in flashbacks. And the connections that the different characters had to him. Was really well done.

Having been a fair bit lower for the past - while, I also appreciate that it doesn't shy away from that sort of thing. It presents reality, without sugarcoating it. That it's alright to not be okay. And to say that, and to talk about it. Because even with the #RUOK day and the mental and emotional awareness that we have these days - there's still so much silence. There are still so many people that just disappear, and people don't know why. Because there wasn't anyone that was really there for them.

Argh. For those wandering, no, I'm not really okay. But I'm not the type to do drastic things. Enjoy life too much, even when I'm feeling shitty. And having a fear of pain means that I'm not one to be hurting myself. So I just get to.....sit with this for a while. Yay.

I'll probably feel better in the morning. I'm at my worst in the evenings. We'll see how tonight goes.