Pledge #15 - Ask God's Help

To constantly ask God for help, for none of this can I do without Him.

At all. Ever. Period. Fairly simple, but I'll expound on it slightly.

Do I mean by this, that I should not do anything? Well, no, I'm asking for help, that's something. But nothing apart from that? Just rely that God will do it all for me. No, I don't think that's what it's about.

I think God wants us to do our best with what we have. And that means putting in some effort, striving to be better. It also means praying and trusting in God - and it can be tricky knowing where which comes in more, and all this sort of thing. If in doubt, do both! God seems to be quite adept at making it work out, despite our lack of understanding in how it all works.

This concludes my series that I've been doing on this pledge of mine. Hopefully you've found it interesting. Until next time!

Pledge #14 - Harbour Peace

To not harbour resentment, anger, hate, jealousy, or other poisoners of the soul.

I've mentioned a fair few times before on here about how emotions self-perpetuate. If you haven't heard it before; essentially, all emotions want more of the said emotion. So the more you dwell on it, the bigger it grows, the less room you have for other emotions. Particularly less room for opposite emotions. This is true of both positive and negative emotions; so it can either be a great thing, or a bad thing. If you're dwelling on negative emotions - then you can easily get depressed, or much worse. It poisons your soul. If you dwell on positive emotions - then the negative emotions don't have any room to grow.

Now, that doesn't mean that when negative emotions legitimately arise for a proper reason, you act as if they're not there. You don't just ignore them and act like it's all fine and dandy. But when things go badly, you need to make sure that it's not all negative. Find that positive - if there's not one there, make one, put one there. We can always add a bit of positive. Often, having someone else there helps, a lot.

To me, this really matters, because I don't want to be a negative person. I know what wallowing in bad emotions can do, and it drowns you. It really does. So for me, harbouring instead hope, peace, joy, and love - that's really important. It's very reminiscent of Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Pledge #13 - Seek Understanding

To seek understanding in the places that I lack.

Particularly so that I may understand people, and avoid the previous point of judging people on things that I don't understand. And also because the more you understand people, the better you can empathise with them, see where they're coming from - or maybe it's the other way around. They're related, anyway. And people are just interesting.

But it's also broader than just that - it's about learning, but going deeper than just knowing facts; understanding the way things work, the why and the how of it, that's what's really interesting. Getting into it and having a go for yourself. Doing it. That's often how we grow our understanding.

This is, of course, an ongoing process; you can never understand everything, and chances are you don't understand a lot of the things you think you do. It's just the nature of things, as it were. There's always a lot more to them than we can get.

Pledge #12 - Judging Slowly

To never judge another on something that I do not understand.

It's something that is very easy for us, as people, to do. Because we often think that we do understand, when in reality we don't. And so we make these snap decisions, thinking that we know the best - but actually, we have no clue. We're judging people; and doing so unjustly. As such, it's so important that we really think before we judge others; because there's always more to the story than we know. Often, there's more to it than they know as well, but one thing at a time.

You always hate it when people make snap decisions about you - so don't do it to others.

The Hope Diaries.

I've started a little project that I've called the Hope Diaries. I got the idea because I was wearing my Hope 103.2 beanie when I did the first one, so I thought, "Why not call it that?" Because it actually works really well.

This probably isn't something that I'll be putting up anywhere. I don't know. Maybe. But I thought I'd put up the idea, anyway.

Essentially, there are things we can do that aren't so great. But, because we're human, we tend to do them anyway. Some aren't that bad. Some really are. Each person struggles with a few of them. There's one in particular I'm working at that maybe I'll talk about at some point, but not in this post.

But I was in a place again today where I wanted to go back there. And then the thought came to me, to instead of doing that, play a song. A song that brought me hope. Rather than doing something that would diminish it. And so that's why the name works nicely.

Now, because I'm a 4 (the Tragic Romantic, for those not yet familiar with the Enneagram), a lot of them will probably be love songs, to some degree. Maybe I'll have a couple of my own, not sure. Hopefully there will be a few Christian ones in there as well. But basically, it will be the first one I see that works.

So yeah. That's the project. Knowing me, it could either happen very sporadically/barely at all, or maybe for quite a while. Guess we'll see.

Pledge #11 - Growing

To always learn and grow, in good times and bad.

This is something that God has been showing me a fair bit of this year as well. Because all the things that happen in our life have a purpose, a reason to them; and even when we are struggling, even when we are falling, we can learn from that place, and in that place. Learn how to get out; learn how to not find ourselves there again. There is always something more to learn, always something that we can grow in. We are not perfect; we need to constantly be learning and growing.

Because otherwise, we are stagnant; and not really living. If a tree is not growing; if a plant is not growing; we may wait for a while and give it some time, but often we will pull it out. It's not growing, it's not developing, it's not bearing fruit. And while we don't pull out people that aren't growing, I think that they aren't really living life. Because life is about growth, and maturing, and all this sort of thing. It's really important. And, of course, because of that, it's really important to help others to grow as well. Otherwise, it's kind of like being the big tree that's blocking out the sun for all the trees around. When you learn things, you share it with people. Being in community is the best way to grow and learn, because everyone has something to contribute, something that's different.

Pledge #10 - Supporting Others

To encourage and support others.

So, this one follows on pretty well from the previous. But this is specifically about building up; being positive, being a driving energy for other people. I've really already spoken a bit about this in the last one, so I'll keep it shorter.

But this is one that is so important, and I've seen the impact this has this year - with me. This year, I've been part of a group that exists to encourage and support the people within the group, and it's been incredible. It's been such a positive and growing experience; a challenging experience, yes, but you can only grow so far without breaking out of your skin, without outgrowing your rock-pool.

When you encourage and support others, they in turn will do the same for you. That's the truth.

Guess/Trust

Spinning, spinning
Through my mind
These emotions, these thoughts
Undefined in direction
And yet so familiar
They build themselves up
Higher and higher
Spin faster and faster
So much that it hurts
And I am left
In a cloud
I know what it is
But cannot see through
Until I move
But when-
Where-
I do not know
I can only
Guess
Or rather
Trust
That he does know
And he does see
That he will guide me
Show me
I hope
I know
That he knows
But I wish
That I would too
But I trust
That he
Knows best

On Not Being Yourself.

A while back (couple of years ago), I wrote a piece called On Assuming A Character. The link is here, if you're interested. Essentially, I said that you needed to find a link between who you were and who the character was, and build the character out of that.

But what do you do if you find yourself with a part that's - very much not you? Perhaps you can find common ground, but the character is very different, perhaps even opposing to much of who you are.

At some point, as an actor, it can be pretty much guaranteed that you'll play a part that you're not completely comfortable with. It's a given, and I've certainly played roles that are very different to who I am. My first role was as The Devil, for goodness' sake. (As an aside, it was a great role that I had a lot of fun with, and how I really first got in to acting.) And there's a couple of things that you can do/are often done in this instance.

Firstly, acclimatisation. This is pretty much guaranteed, to be honest. This essentially means making the character a little bit more manageable - trimming off a couple of the rougher edges if you're a bit warmer, adding a bit of bite in if it's a bit too coddly for you. This will pretty much inevitably happen because of who you are, but it can also be a deliberate thing as well.

Secondly, understanding. Often, when you go deep into the script, it will help you to understand the psychology and philosophy of the character, and why they act that way. And sometimes, that will help you to be able to rationalise it a bit (if you're a rationalising sort of person), and find it easier to perform.

Thirdly, adjustment. Not ideal, but at times (particularly if it's a bit more improv-based and such), your character may have a bit of wiggle room, and you can ask the director if you can do things a bit differently. If you can explain it well and show them how your way will still be effective and how you'll be able to do it better that way, they might be willing to give it a go. Not so much for when you've got a set script, and certainly not for bigger stuff.

Fourthly - just do it. There are some bits that you just have to suck it up, swallow your pride, not worry about what your friends or family might think of you for what you're going to do or say, and just go for it. It will be hard the first couple of times, but it gets easier. (In some instances, this is something that you need to watch, because there are some things you don't want to become easy - but that's another discussion.) Don't sacrifice the power and potential of what's written because you're getting a bit queasy. Make the part yours, yes. But you also need to be the part. It's a two-way street; acting isn't (contrary to popular opinion) just about you!

Pledge #9 - Being There

To be there when I am needed most.

Which is often not at an easy time. It never rains, but it pours, as they say. And I've found that often when I'm in a tight spot, it can really help me being able to help others in a similar situation; focussing outwards rather than inwards. It gives you a sense of perspective, I think. Or something.

But for me, being there in the hard times is the mark of real friendship. I know it's at these times that I've had the most impact on others, and that they've had the most impact on me. When friendships are tried and tested, and show their worth. That's what it's really about.