Living in the In-Between.

This is my post about this year. It's rather overdue.

Towards the end of last year, I was starting to wind up pretty much everything that I was involved with. Work and church being the big two, really. But I was pretty busy with a lot of things. Too many things. So God asked me to stop, and take some time. So that we could focus in on the important things. I talked about it a little in this post.
So, I finished up with everything, and I had my week away in the Blue Mountains. It was a really nice retreat time. Really relaxing, and a great time to draw closer to God.
But it didn't give me any clarity on the year ahead.

And so, because I had no work, I've been living at home again. Pretty much everything I have is now in the garage, because I never planned to be here for long at all. I thought I'd finish up with last year's stuff, then God would tell me where I was going this year, and then I'd go do that. Seemed like he has other plans.

At first, I was pretty uncomfortable with that. I didn't particularly enjoy the idea of living back at home for a while, when I'd put so much into moving out, and making that work for all of last year, even on so little. But I didn't have a lot of choice. I had no money, and no car. I wasn't planning to just couch-surf or sleep in the streets. So that's where I was, in the in-between place, wondering what on earth God had in store for me. I wasn't too happy with it all.

But God started showing me that - actually, this space is okay. My parents have been providing for me a bit - I help my little sister get ready in the mornings for school, and they pay me for that, which helps. And since I have time on my hands, I can focus a bit more on my own creative projects, like my albums, or writing a musical. (Yeah, I'm doing that, just casually.) Which has been really nice.

I do find the lack of work hard, though. I'm rather terrible at self-motivation a lot of the time, and so keeping myself busy is actually how I get things done. It's tricky when there's....not so much to get busy with. I mean, there is. I have so many projects I could work on, and there's plenty to do around the house. But when you actually have work to do for someone, it's a bit different. I did have an interview the other day that went quite well, but even if I did get that job, it wouldn't start until the end of next month. Which is rather farther away than I thought.

So yeah. That's what I'm struggling with at the moment. Having time is nice, in a way. But being terrible at self-motivation means that I wind up doing nothing too much of the time. And...yeah. Some work would be nice. Finding a job is annoying.