Gentlemen.

It's a bit late, but I needed to get this down. Been a while again. I actually have another one on my mind, so I might do that tomorrow - imagine that! Me doing consecutive posts! Insanity. I'm also at Beyond Festival (which you should totally come to) this weekend, so I may do a post or two on what happens there afterwards.

Yesterday, as you may or may not have known, was International Men's Day. I didn't know until I saw a post about it on my Facebook feed. Today, I heard that an old male friend of mine passed away last night. As in, he was actually both an old friend and an old male. And a good man.

We hear a lot about the negative men in our society these days. They get plastered over the news, slammed through the courts and criminal systems, and get talked about a lot online. But you don't hear much about good men - about gentlemen.

Now, I am not meaning gentlemen in the sense of, "Oh, I do say dear fellow, won't you join me in a spot of tea? Let's open the door for the madam, shall we?" I'm not meaning British and Victorian, or like a knight or something. The thing is, people often don't understand the meaning of the word gentle; or use it to mean something different these days. We tend to think of it as meaning not strong, or delicate, and very feminine. But that's not what I'm meaning here at all; and that's not what it means when you're reading about it in the Bible. For instance, when it's talking about gentleness being one of the fruits of the Spirit, or saying that the meek - the gentle - shall inherit the earth.

No. It's talking about strength under control. And that's not just referring to physical strength. It's also in reference to mental strength, emotional strength, spiritual strength. Each of these are very real things, that can be used as weapons just as much as physical strength can, if not used in a good way; if not kept under control. You probably know all too many examples of that. Men that shout and argue to get their way. Men that manipulate people emotionally, and then hurt them deeply. Men that dominate discussions with their intellect, and use it as an excuse to shut others out. Men that claim the moral high ground, because they've been to that fancy Bible college, or even because they have a position at a church.

These aren't gentle men. And they aren't what men are supposed to be like. Instead, these are examples of the brokenness of this world at work - and how sin has corrupted and tainted our perceptions of what men should be like. We think that this is normal, that men are supposed to be dominating and strong, that they should take charge and get their way. Sin has taken truth and twisted it to its own ends; because that is what sin does. It cannot construct something new. It just twists and taints what is already there. Science tells us that men are, on average, physically stronger. But this is not because they are meant to dominate over others. Rather, they are meant to use this strength to serve and protect those around them. To help, not to hurt. Strength under control; gentleness.

I have had the good fortune of knowing some gentlemen in my time. Some were strong physically, some in other ways; but each knew how and when to use that strength, rather than it controlling them. And through them, I hope that I have learned a little of how to be a gentleman too.

Men - stop letting yourselves be characterised by people's perceptions. Let's redefine manhood, redefine masculinity. Let's make it gentle. Let's make it amazing. Let's make it fantastic.