Looking Forward, Looking Back - 23/24

Another year is coming to an end, and another one is about to start. So let’s take a moment to look back at the year that was, and look ahead to the year that might be.

For me, 2023 had a lot that was new; but also a lot that was the same. I’m still working in the same job, despite having applied for other jobs on and off for over a year. I’m still no further ahead on the musical about queer faith that I started writing nearly two years ago now. I’m still in the middle of reading many of the same books that I was at the start of the year. I’m still not seeing many of my creative projects and ideas really go anywhere. But I’m also still surviving. Still fairly physically healthy. Still getting through each day. Which is a start.

What was different, then? Well, I moved house early this year. And then quite quickly was managing the lease, and needing to find two other housemates! But that meant being able to offer accommodation to some people that needed it, for probably cheaper than they’d be able to find otherwise. I’ve been in a consistent relationship through all this year, which has been kinda crazy. I haven’t had that in a while, and it’s been rather lovely. I visited Melbourne - a couple of times, actually! - which was a lot of fun. I marched in the Sydney Mardi Gras early this year with my church, which was amazing. I was on the board for the church for most of this year as well, and that was a new experience. I did sound for a musical, for a profit-share! That was a first. Also operated both sound and lighting for another show, when I haven’t really done lights before. I had my partner move in to my place - it wasn’t really planned, but rent increases be shit. And it’s worked out pretty well. I started a few new campaign games with friends. I finished up with the trivia host job. I kinda finished up at the church that I was at - not really something I’ve talked about online publicly, but that happened recently. Not through any ill will, just moving in different directions. I started playing public gigs again every now and then. Also started having board game nights at my place semi-regularly. And I got accepted into a music therapy course that will start next year - which brings us into 2024.

Really, that course - and the work I have - are the only concrete things I know about next year. Everything else is pretty up in the air. But, I suppose, here are some hopes. Some are probably a little optimistic and not likely going to happen, but hey, it’s still good to hope.

I hope that I can read a bit more. I have a To-Be-Read list as long as my arm, including multiple books I’ve bought relatively recently. I’d like to actually get to them. But so often I just don’t read, I spend my time watching videos and the like. So I want to put more time aside for reading.

I hope that I can play to people a bit more. I’ve loved getting back into doing gigs; actually getting to hear people’s reactions to my songs, what I’ve written, what I’m doing. It’s incredibly encouraging. I want to do more of that, and have more people hearing my music.

I hope that I can finish some projects; or at least, keep working on them. I’m very good at starting projects; coming up with a million different ideas and thoughts. But bringing them through to their completion, particularly when they require a lot of work, is something I really struggle with. I have so many projects that haven’t really moved in months. I’d like to see that change.

I hope that I can make some new connections. I love my partner dearly; but I also love a lot of other people! I am polyamorous. But, for one reason or another, nothing else has really eventuated. Which, though I’m used to, would also be nice to see change.

One that’s a bit more out of my hands - I hope that life will be less shit. It’s feeling more and more capitalist hellscape these days in multiple ways, which makes life more difficult for most people. I’m sitting pretty squarely within that. It would be nice for things to get a little better. Well. A lot better. Seems fairly impossible, but we can hope, right? But yeah. When a lot of things in the world are falling apart, it gives you less reasons to want to keep going.

I hope that the relationship I’m in will keep going. Like I said, it’s been really nice. I’d like that to continue, ideally. Would be nice if this could still be good for a while yet.

I hope I can get a different job. I really do. It’s one of the things that’s draining me the most, and just contributing to burnout. It would be nice to be able to change that for the better.

I hope that the course I’m doing next year will go well. I’m excited for it - and I think it should be good - but I haven’t done study like this for nearly ten years. So it will take some getting used to.

And I’m hoping I can spend more time with people. That’s what really brings me life. It’s a bit harder without a car to be doing those catch ups and the like, but hopefully I can still make it work.

There’s a lot I that don’t really know about next year. But hopefully, it can bring some changes for the better.