Finding Joy Together.

One of the things that I’ve been finding difficulty with lately is connected to where I find joy. Let me list some of them for you, and see if you can pick up a common thread.

Performing. In various ways, but just in general performing captures it fairly well.

Spending intentional time with someone, perhaps in conversation or doing something we enjoy.

Playing board games with people.

Have you figured it out? They all involve - and, indeed, require - other people. And that’s a problem. Because, for various reasons, there won’t always be other people available. And, in fact, often they aren’t. Perhaps because of work, or disability, or other complicating factors - besides which performing often implying a larger audience, which has its own challenges.

And then the one that I haven’t listed - music, particularly playing music, and especially playing music without a care for how loud I am, and on the piano - rather directly impacts other people within earshot. So I often need to turn to other things, which, though enjoyable, don’t often bring joy in the same way as these.

I’m not sure where the answer to this lies, or if there even is one. Perhaps in finding a new joy I can do by myself? For instance, when I was younger, reading was a common one that I would use. But then the challenge of that is that I’m very still for that - and I often have too much energy, that I need to use, I’m somewhat restless (yay, ADHD). Audiobooks are handy there, and fill some of a gap. Perhaps in terms of physical energy, I could look into doing dance lessons, or some form of exercise or sport. But often these cost money (which is always in short supply, working two days an week), and take time to get to - which, when I don’t have a car, makes things a little trickier.

Is this a problem that other people have faced? I’m interested in hearing people’s thoughts on this. Because unfortunately, the upshot of all of this is - I’m often not spending that much time doing things that bring me joy. And when work is a source of burnout, I need something else to balance that out - rest is part of that, and I’m good at that part. But part of it needs to be finding joy, too. And I think I need to get better at that, somehow. Because I don’t think there’s enough joy in my life. (Particularly when it is part of my name.)