The different roles in a creative group.

Warning: long post ahead.

I've just finished reading Living With A Creative Mind. An amazing book, which you can check out here: http://livingwithacreativemind.com/ At some point, I'll look into it a bit more in-depth. For now, however, I just want to look into one thing that they looked at.

In their chapter called Collaboration, they mention that they have repeatedly observed different roles emerging within collaborative groups. These are detailed below, exactly as written. (Taken from "Collaborating", Living With A Creative Mind, Jeff Crabtree and Julie Crabtree [Zebra Collective, Manly; 2011].)

The Technician

A problem-solver. Always says no at first, then thinks about how it can be done and provides the method and the details. Takes pride in the achievement of the impossible. May be frustrating to work with - they cannot be hurried. They work at their own pace. (Schematic thought, insulated sense, zoom focus, order space and safety action.)

 The Blue Sky Thinker

 Thinks of things no one else thinks of. A lot of suggestions and ideas will be totally impractical, impossible and unrelated, but perhaps one in every five or six is brilliant. You just need to be patient and not come down too heavily on the awful ideas. (Confronting attitude, fluid thought, wide angle focus, chaos space and risk action.)

The Glue

This person is the one who feels the pain of others and tries to empower everyone in the group. A peacemaker, a negotiator and the one who reminds everybody that they are better off stuck together than falling apart. Keeps everyone on track and sometimes may contribute nothing more than this. May not even see themselves as creative - but they are essential to the creative process. (Deflated ego, conforming attitude, skinless sense, order space and safety action.)

The Devil's Advocate

Always asks the questions no one wants to hear. Identifies where the group is going wrong and is fearless enough to put it out there. May appear difficult to please. Doesn't necessarily have the answers - just the questions. (Inflated ego, confronting attitude, schematic thought, order space and safety action.)

The Terrorist

Throws in a bomb. Blows up everything and changes the game. Destructive to old mindsets and habits. In the aftermath we discover how creatively potent this kind of person can be. (Inflated ego, confronting attitude, wide angle focus, chaos space, risk action and intense emotion.)

The Child

Everything is a game. The whole thing is just like a little kid playing in the garden, full of fun and frivolity. May frustrate others in the group. Willing to try anything. Can easily revert to childlike states of distress. (Fluid thought, skinless sense, wide angle focus, chaos space and intense emotion.)

The Face

The visible personification of success - a spokesman, a persona, someone the public and the media can identify. May have no other role. (Inflated ego and risk action.)

The Visionary

Can see the big picture. Capable of getting a huge idea - but may have absolutely no idea of how to realise it. (Inflated ego, fluid thought, wide angle focus, manic energy and risk action.)

The Joker

This person is always the naughty one; the comedian or the troublemaker. Says the things the rest of the group think privately but are too afraid to say out loud. Constantly breaches social conventions. (Inflated ego, confronting attitude, fluid thought, wide angle focus, risk action and intense emotion.)

The Purist

Is always standing up for ideological or artistic integrity. When others are willing to try anything, this person will always resist ideas that take the group away from what have been the core values. (Inflated ego, conforming attitude, schematic thought, zoom focus, order space and safety action.)

The Interpreter

Is able to communicate effectively with colleagues outside the creative group and speak on behalf of it. Acts as an intermediary, particularly with business holders and financiers. (Deflated ego, conforming attitude, schematic thought, insulated sense, wide angle focus, safety action and calm emotion.)

If you're still here, good job! That was a fair bit to get through. The bits in italics are to do with their nine dimensions of a creative mind; ego, attitude, thought, sense, focus, emotion, energy, space and action. If you want to find out more about those, again, their book is amazing, even just for that. Link up top.

I think that the roles given above are a really good summary of what can be found within a creative framework; and often, within most group settings. Now, as they also mention shortly afterwards, people can be more than one of those roles quite easily. I've been most of those roles at some point or another. Generally speaking, I'm some combination of the Child, the Visionary, and the Purist. But then I have bits from the Technician, the Glue, the Devil's Advocate, the Interpreter, the Blue Sky Thinker and even the Joker now and then.

But yeah, thought this would be good to put up for other to people to think about what sort of roles they fit, and what roles other people fit; and maybe making working in a group that little bit easier, because you understand a bit better how that works.

The Social Network.

Tonight, I watched The Social Network for the first time. Perhaps a bit sad given the hype around it and how long it's been out for, but that's the case. It was on TV. So I thought I'd watch it.

If you're not familiar with what the movie is about, it's about a guy called Mark Zuckerberg. Hang on, you're thinking. Isn't it supposed to be about Facebook? Perhaps. But it's not. It's about Zuckerberg. It's about him during the time that he made and grew and fought over Facebook, yes. But it's certainly about him. I'll expand a little on that; but first, I'll do a brief overview of the movie.

It starts with Mark getting dumped by his girlfriend. He then gets drunk and depressed, and, following a random comment from a roommate at uni about the photos of the people in the dorm, makes a site in the space of a few hours on which every female student at Harvard (his university) was paired with another randomly; the viewer would then decide which picture they liked better. The site got tens of thousands of hits in the first couple of hours it went live, and shut the Harvard internet down. Harvard subsequently removed the site, and he faced charges for violation of privacy.
Being impressed by his work, three other Harvard students came to him with an idea for a Harvard-exclusive social network, wanting him to make it; he said he'd do it. He then proceeded to formulate a social network under his own steam, with some help from Eduardo Saverin, a friend at Harvard. He eventually made the site live, calling it thefacebook.com. It grew rapidly, attracting the attention of the three students who had approached Mark originally. They were angry at Mark seemingly stealing their idea.
The site expanded to other universities nearby; Mark brought in a couple more roommates to help with the growing demand. It eventually hit Stanford and drew the attention of Sean Parker, the man behind Napster. Eduardo then attempted to set up several meetings with potential investors to attempt to get monetary input into the company; thus far, it was running off his. A meeting was also made with Sean Parker. The meetings with investors did not go well; Mark was disinterested, and projected a bad attitude to the investors. The meeting with Sean went better according to Mark; Eduardo was unimpressed. Sean did, however, suggest changing it to just "facebook". He also suggested that they move to California.
Facebook expands further, and garners a couple more interns; Mark wants to move to California. Eduardo is reluctant, but puts his money on the line. Eduardo stays in New York, trying to make more connections; Mark moves down with the rest of the team, and Sean moves in shortly after. Eduardo comes down for a visit; he is unimpressed by the influence Sean has had on Mark, and freezes his account. Sean connects Mark up with a large investor, who decides to put in half a million. Facebook goes international. Mark tells Eduardo about the investor; he agrees to come back to sign a contract. (Account is presumably unfrozen.) Contract is signed; Eduardo has 30%, Mark just over 50%, Sean 7%, various other employees the remainder.
Facebook is close to reaching a million. Eduardo gets called back for a "business meeting", and for the millionth user party. He instead gets more paperwork; his share has been reduced by 100 times - down to 0.3%. He is furious with Mark, and decides to sue him for everything. The three other students who originally approached Mark about the idea also sue on grounds of intellectual property theft. Sean is busted doing drugs at the party. Mark is unimpressed; perhaps "disillusioned" is a good word here as well.
He settles with both parties.
At the end of the movie, he is shown refreshing the page constantly of a friend request he has just made to the girl who dumped him at the start of the movie.

That wasn't particularly short, I know. Difficult to condense down without losing a lot. Hopefully, however, you get a bit of the storyline there. What you won't get so much, however, is who Mark Zuckerberg was.

Mark is portrayed in the movie (I obviously can't speak for how he is in real life) as an absolute genius. And a genius who couldn't be bothered wasting his time on people who were just slowing him down. The thing was; pretty much everyone did, according to him. He could be described as paranoid; naive; obsessive; indifferent; impulsive.
But the interesting thing, I think, is this; Mark never did anything, as such, to intentionally hurt people. He didn't care if he offended them; that was his fun, in a way, as is alluded to frequently. But every time he does something that hurts somebody, he doesn't realise that it will. He just didn't think about it. And he understands people, strangely enough - "I don't hate anybody. The "Winklevii" aren't suing me for intellectual property theft. They're suing me because for the first time in their lives, things didn't go exactly the way they were supposed to for them." I also just love that 'Winklevii' note. (Two of the three suing him were twins - the Winklevosses.)
But anyway. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, particularly given it's a Hollywood interpretation of a person. I just see a lot of parallels between him and me, I guess. We were raised quite differently, but apart from that - we're both very smart. Socially alienated. Somewhat naive to how the world works, and as such, can be considered impulsive. (Not me so much, but still.) Obsessive in regards to some things; these consume our attention, thus giving the appearance of indifference. And we're paranoid that what we obsess over, what we pour our skill and time into, won't work out.
But perhaps more crucially. At the end of the day, we crave a relationship. All through the movie, you see subtle signs of that - "But I don't want friends." "Can we just talk for a minute?" "Do you ever think about that girl?" *Click* *click* *click* *click*. Endlessly hoping, at the end of the day, for a miracle. Perhaps that's the real naivety; the real obsession; the true impulsiveness. I can't - and don't, by the way, in case you're wondering if he's paying me to write this or something - speak for Mark, but I get pretty blinkered when it comes to this sort of thing. Which can - which does - get annoying for me. Because other people waltz in, and they're fantastic. They're amazing. But they're not that person. And, yes. I am probably only writing this because I'm somewhat depressed, it's late at night/early in the morning, and I probably will have to end up answering awkward questions about this from people I don't kow that well, or don't want to talk about this with.

But what did I say? Impulsive. "Yes, it may be a long way down; but oh, what a glorious flight!" That one's not from this movie.

And yes; it was a good movie, if you were wondering.

Song Saturday #10: Atlas

I haven't been writing a lot of songs lately. To try and combat that, I've decided to write a new song each Saturday, and put the video for it up each Sunday. When I'm not away on camp. :P Which may be a few of them. But yeah, that's the idea.

I was away yesterday, so I'm doing song and video today. Lucky you guys :)

This first one is on, I suppose, how things have been seeming sometimes lately. Bit more of a downer, I guess. The name is from the figure in Greek mythology, who's punishment was to carry the sky on his shoulders. (Not the Earth, the sky. Common misconception.) Sorry to Helmut for using the same name as one of his, but it's a good name :P


Atlas

V1: Cm C#mMaj7(#4) [or C5/C#5]
He always thought he could carry everyone's burdens;
Now he's struggling with just his own.
And time and space are not on his side;
Slipping away, neither of them can ease this weight.
He finds no pleasure in the things he once did;
Not because he has changed his loves, but because they're gone.
Sometimes he wished that he had just gone and hid;
But hiding does not move the problem on.

Pre-Chorus: C5 C#5
He cannot see a way out;
At least, not without
Hurting himself all the more

Chorus: C5/F5 C5/Ab5 C5 C5/C#5
So he takes the pain as it comes;
The strain to the beat of the drum,
Back and forth he goes.
He knows that there is an end;
He just hopes that he can reach it,
But confidence isn't finding a home today.
He's just trying to get through another day.

V2: 
He set the challenge himself, so he can't really complain.
He's trying his best, but he's wondering
If for once, that won't stand the test again.
He's stretched himself so far, that he can't come back in;
It's seeming ever more impossible to win.

Pre-Chorus + Chorus 

Bridge: Fm C5/C#5
A burden shared is a burden halved, he knows
But he doesn't know if he wants anyone else
To go through what he has
To force his pain on them

Chorus x2

And here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m9UmrPrLUY
Enjoy! :)

Your Centre.

Just finished watching the movie Rise Of The Guardians for the second time. An absolutely fantastic movie; and I find myself drawing a lot of parallels between me and Jack Frost, the protagonist. But that's a post for another time, perhaps.

In one of the scenes of the movie, North (Santa) is asking Jack what his "centre" is. The way he explains the idea to Jack is through one of those Russian dolls - little one inside a bigger inside a bigger inside a bigger, etc. On the outside, he seems a little intimidating. Get to know him a bit - next doll - he's jolly. Then mysterious; then fearless; then I forget; but at his centre, is a little baby with massive eyes. Because his centre is wonder. Seeing the wonder in everything.

And each of the other Guardians had their centres as well - Bunny was hope, Tooth was memory, Sandy is dreams, and Jack turns out to be fun.

I think we can take a lot from this; we're each many different things (some more diverse and numerous than others), but we each have something at our centre. Something that drives us, which is most important above all.

And all of those things mentioned above - wonder, hope, memory, dreams, fun - each of those are so important to me.
The wonder of this world; of the people of this world - is everywhere. It's amazing, if you just look.
Hope is something that will always keep me going. Even if I don't have much actual hope that something will happen - as in, I don't expect something to actually come to fruition - I'll still always hope.
Memory is a bit of a trickier one. Sometimes it's amazing, sometimes it tends to bite you in the backside. But I'd much prefer having them than not.
Dreams I've actually just posted on, funnily enough. But dreams always help to push me forward a little, lift me a little.
And fun - well, I just get lost in it sometimes :D That's how it's really supposed to happen, if anything can "supposed to be" a particular way with fun.

But my centre, I think, is something else. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you can probably guess.

Love.

Love is my centre. It's what drives me. What tears me apart, sometimes. it's what I cherish; what I try to give, wherever I can; and really what I long for. Always longing for a little love. And every little bit - every one - is amazing. You have no idea how much love effects me; how much the love of other people can just run through me. The tiniest thing can have the biggest impact. It's an old line, but it's true.

I know what my centre is. What's yours?

Dreams...

We all have dreams. Daydreams, dreams in our sleep, dreams of the future. Yet so often, that's all they ever seem to be...

As I'm writing this, my little sister is watching Tangled just next to me. If you're at all familiar with the movie, you'll know it's got a lot to do with dreams. Following your dream, finding your dream, living your dream; but also, often realising in doing that that your real dream is not what you really thought at all.

I've had many dreams. Of all sorts. Dreams of different futures; of things that could be, or could change, or that I could do. Dreams of places, times, people. Love, of course. I think we all do.

And, sometimes, those dreams have come true. And usually, when I least expect it. I got to go overseas; I got into the uni degree I wanted; my music has made people laugh, and smile, and think; I got into the job I wanted, and then again; I've been able to see beautiful, wonderful things; I've had amazing friends that have been there for me all through my life, and a great family that loves me so much; I've discovered so many things about myself; I've become so much closer to God.

I'm only 20, and already I have so much. So many things to be thankful for, and to thank God for. And yet, I still seem to want more. Part of the human condition, in part, I guess. We always like to think that there's more for us. Maybe I'm just a whiner. I hope not. I'd like to think that there's more to me than that. I dunno.

But I still have dreams; and I suppose it saddens me to think that perhaps these are ones that are just dreams. I've had dreams before that haven't gone anywhere, sure; but there's always been another that has. I think I just need to be a little more patient; which seems to be an ever-harder thing to ask for in today's world.

I know these blog posts tend to be in the form of me asking a lot of questions, and not really giving that many answers; perhaps that's not the best thing, but it seems to be how I work.


On another quick note; I've just hit over fifty thousand views on my blog! Now, admittedly, if you cut out my Four Chords list, that does drop down to about ten thousand, but I still think it's a good milestone to celebrate. So thanks everyone who reads my blog :) This is a really useful avenue for me, and I'm quite grateful that every now and then I can just go on here, post a bit about something, and people will have a look.

So yeah, thanks :)

Stories + Recent Happenings.

Hello everyone!

Firstly, a couple of quick updates on stuff that's been happening lately.

I've recently put up my Four Chords, 100 Songs, Original Audio video, which I've been working on for quite a while, and can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4k62X4Kx7o
I think it's pretty awesome, and I'd love for it to get out there a bit :)

I've barely been doing anything with my music lately - I really haven't written anything, I haven't gigged at all, and it's been bugging me a fair bit. Thankfully, I've gotten this video up ^^^ which is something, but I'd really like to work on a bit more of my own stuff.

I'm also graduating from uni in a week from yesterday; which is pretty cool. Going to be good to catch up with everyone again, see what they're up to. Even though it will really be only for a few hours, but that's OK. Think it will be good. :)

There's probably more stuff that I'm not thinking of, but that will do for now. There are a couple of posts that I want to do that I haven't done yet, but I'll leave those for those posts.

On another tack, however. I've been doing a lot of camps lately, and there's been so many good moments, so many great stories. And I was just lamenting to a friend that there's just so many, it's getting difficult to remember them all. So they suggested putting it down here. Which makes sense and stuff, which makes me annoyed that I didn't think of it :P But anyway. I've been busy, OK? :P So yeah. Going to relate a few of the better moments of camps insofar. No names, I'm afraid, just because it's better that way.

Probably one of the best moments I've had so far was on a TAFE camp. It was a canoe trip out in Kangaroo Valley, and a few of us had decided to sleep in the canoes. I was pretty keen, I'd never done it before. We had just gone for a night paddle before that, actually, and that was pretty awesome. You pretty much just laid down in the canoe and looked at the stars. So peaceful. And sleeping in the canoe was just the same, really - it was so amazing being able to sleep like that, looking up at the stars. Would be awesome to have a glass roof or something just for that.... It is a little squishy on the sides, but it wasn't that much of an issue.
What was interesting, though, was what happened before we went to sleep. A point for beforehand: whenever we get out of the canoes, we tie them up with rope. Either that or pull them up onto the bank, but that can damage the bank. Also easier tying them up if there's not so much space, or a difficult bank to get up. But that's just a quick aside. We were getting into the canoes, and I had already put my sleeping mat and sleeping bag in, and then I got in. I got into the sleeping bag and started to lay down, and then I started to feel as if the canoe was moving - I thought I could see the landscape moving. So I sat up to discover that the canoe hadn't been tied up properly with the other canoes. I turned back towards the bank to find that I had already drifted about five metres. "Uh...guys?" We all laughed pretty hard then. I wasn't scared at all - it wasn't like there was much of a current - but I didn't have a paddle, so I had to use my hands to work my way back over to the bank. We joked about that quite a fair bit after that.

Aside from that, most of it's been little things. One girl at the last camp I went on thought for a moment that a red belly black was a spider. Close, but no cigar. She had a fair few of those moments, actually, but it was good. Made it interesting.
Another time, I was helping run the flying fox, and there was one girl who was really scared of going on. And it was a pretty big flying fox - you had to go up a hill to get to where you started, and the rest of us would wait at the bottom. And if you saw the end bit, there was quite a jolt. I believe the word "ragdoll" may have been used more than once. But we managed to convince her to get a harness on, and go up to the top. Then she got clipped in once. She debated about it, went so close for ages, they were really talking her into it and egging her on - she was in for about half an hour, then couldn't do it. A couple more people went through, she got clipped in a second time. Again, she couldn't do it. She got clipped in a third time, and finally did it. You know what one of the first things was that she said afterwards? "Can I do it again?" And she did, without hesitation. She loved it.
One of the best camps I've had so far was on the cabin side of Crosslands. Same camp as the last one, actually. I probably have it as one of my favourites because we were in cabins, we had cooks (one an actual proper cook - son of one of the Boomerang employees), and they had a piano there :D And I was playing that piano a fair bit, as you can imagine. And the kids really liked that - they were singing along with me sometimes, and a couple of other kids were playing as well, a couple more practiced than me.
On most camps that we've been on so far, whenever we haven't been in cabins, I've done the wake-up call. My go-to songs for this insofar have been The Circle Of Life, and a combination of Oh, What A Beautiful Morning and Oklahoma!, which have both gone down quite well. One of the best responses I had was one morning, one of the kids said it felt like he was waking up in Africa :) Another one said that he wanted to record it and use it as his alarm on his phone :D

Another thing that I've been able to do a couple of times now is Initiatives, which have been quite fun to run. So far, I've done Tarp Turnover and Acid River. And, of course, being me, it can't be that simple. Because you can explain them in about five seconds, but then it's no fun. I have to do a story ;)
So, with Tarp Turnover - all you have to do is get everyone on the tarp; flip it over without anyone touching the ground; fold in half similarly; repeat steps 2 and 3 until either time runs out or they can't do it any more. I however, come up with a much more interesting explanation.
"Over here, guys! Quick, on to the platform! OK, is everyone here? Good. Well, I've got some good news, and some bad news. Bad news is, we're flowing down an underground river of molten lava. The good news is, however, that we've managed to find a Lava Resistant Platform (or LRP for short), and, in fact, the only one around. So good job, guys! Problem is, with these platforms, that they're not perfect - the lava does manage to slowly eat through the platform. As such, it needs to be flipped regularly, to decrease the lava wear. Of course, being human, we can't really step in the lava - we tend to disintegrate fairly rapidly. I am wearing lava boots, but I have the only pair, and I can't take them off, because they're molded specifically to my feet. So you're going to need to flip the LRP completely, without stepping in the lava. You can carry each other if you want, but unfortunately the cave is too low for you to go on each other's shoulders." "OK, so you've flipped the LRP over. Fantastic! But, being weak, we now need to fold it in half, in order to increase its strength." "And now we need to flip it again!" Etc.
With Acid River - you have to get from point A to point B, using some foam mats. You have to be stepping on the foam mats all the time, and you can't put a mat down without having part of your body on it. If you don't, you lose the mat. There's one less mat than people. This became something more like this.
"Congratulations! You are among the first of a team of explorers on Mars. However, we have encountered a bit of a problem. Our barrel - which contains some invaluable supplies - has washed over a bit thataway. Thakfully, it has caught on a bit of a snag, so it's staying where it is for now; but we still need to go and get it. Unfortunately, it is in the middle of a giant acid lake. The thing is with us and acid, that we tend to boil and bubble and burst when we mix. I'm wearing special Acid Boots, so I'm OK. No, you can't wear them, there's only one pair and they don't come off. And no, I can't get the barrel for you, because it's too heavy for just me. We're all going to need to go and get it. Thankfully, the Science Faculty did consider this eventuality. They have provided us with a limited number of Weight Supporting Acid Resistant Platforms, or WSARPs for short (though people tend to just call them acid mats). Because they're weight-supporting, they can hold our weight; since they're acid resistant, they can do so in the acid; however, they are not current resistant. If you put them down in the lake without putting part of your body on them first, they will get carried away and we won't be able to get them back." "Fantastic! You've gotten to the barrel. Now, we need to get all of us and the barrel over to that point over there [about twice as far]. And, because of the wear these platforms are getting, if you aren't carrying the barrel, you need to be on just one foot at a time. You can change from one to the other, but you can't have one foot on two separate mats at the same time. You can jump between the two, but only one foot at a time. Thankfully, the barrel can be used to weigh down mats, or even to sit on, since it seems to be acid resistant as well."
So yeah, I had fun doing those.

There are so many more stories, but I really can't remember them all. As well as that, I don't have the space or time to write them all! I've already written quite a bit, so I'll leave it there, but I'll try to put up more fairly regularly.

:)

Four Chords, 100 Songs, Original Audio - Song List

Again, I had to post this here, because Youtube has a set description length.


This is the full song list:

1. The Fragrance Of Ithilien (from Return Of The King), by Howard Shore;
2. You're Beautiful, by James Blunt;
3. Forever Young, by Alphaville;
4. I'm Yours, by Jason Mraz;
5. Take Me Home, Country Roads, by John Denver;
6. Give It All, by Rise Against;
7. Superman (It's Not Easy), by Five For Fighting;
8. Right Here Waiting, by Richard Marx;
9. No One, by Alicia Keys;
10. High, by Lighthouse Family;
11. By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North;
12. Dream Catch Me, by Newton Faulkner;
13. The Eastern Sky, by Adventure Land;
14. Beautiful Ending, by BarlowGirl;
15. Hope Vol. 2, by Apocalyptica featuring Matthias Sayer;
16. City On Our Knees, by TobyMac;
17. Bright Side Of The Rainbow, by Forever Road;
18. Legacy, by Nichole Nordeman;
19. Love Story, by Taylor Swift;
20. Don't Stop Believing, by Journey;
21. Wanna Be Loved, by dcTalk;
22. 20 Good Reasons, by Thirsty Merc;
23. Pathways, by Enoch;
24. Amazing, by Alex Lloyd;
25. Wherever You Will Go, by The Calling;
26. Can You Feel The Love Tonight, by Elton John;
27. She Will Be Loved, by Maroon 5;
28. Pictures Of You, by The Last Goodnight;
29. Cigarettes Will Kill You, by Ben Lee;
30. With Or Without You, by U2;
31. Happy Ending, by Mika;
32. Where Is The Love, by Black Eyed Peas;
33. The Show, by Lenka;
34. Lady Luck, by Latch Key Kid;
35. Vanilla Twilight, by Owl City;
36. You Raise Me Up, by Secret Garden;
37. 21 Guns, by Green Day;
38. 9 Crimes, by Damien Rice;
39. Tonight I Wanna Cry, by Keith Urban;
40. Fire, by Krystal Meyers;
41. Give It All Away, by Aaron Shust;
42. Magic, by Kaytee Faulkner;
43. Canvas Bags, by Tim Minchin;
44. Misery, by Good Charlotte;
45. Dead Man (Carry Me), by Jars Of Clay;
46. Beds Are Burning, by Midnight Oil;
47. Ishmael, by Helen Mottee;
48. Fall At Your Feet, by Crowded House;
49. Not Pretty Enough, by Kasey Chambers;
50. Let It Be, by The Beatles;
51. Under The Bridge, by Red Hot Chili Peppers;
52. The Horses, by Daryl Braithwaite;
53. Down Under, by Men At Work;
54. Here I Am, by Bryan Adams;
55. Boulevard of Broken Dreams, by Green Day;
56. Breakeven (Falling To Pieces), by The Script;
57. The Lost Get Found, by Britt Nicole;
58. Breakin' Down, by Latch Key Kid;
59. Wait And See, by Brandon Heath;
60. Grenade, by Bruno Mars;
61. Dive, by Steven Curtis Chapman;
62. Almost Anything, by Latch Key Kid;
63. Holiday, by Green Day;
64. Complicated, by Avril Lavigne;
65. For Once, by Helmut Uhlmann;
66. When You Love Someone, by Bethany Dillon;
67. The Meaning Of Life, by Hawk Nelson;
68. Blood To Bleed, by Rise Against
69. Always, by Blink-182;
70. Urban Hermit, by Brendan Raymond;
71. Taylor, by Jack Johnson;
72. Take On Me, by A-ha;
73. When I Come Around, by Green Day;
74. Save Tonight, by Eagle Eye Cherry;
75. Africa, by Toto;
76. Self Esteem, by The Offspring;
77. Apologize, by Timbaland featuring OneRepublic;
78. U + Ur Hand, by P!nk;
79. It's Time To Go For Growth, by The Axis Of Awesome;
80. Does Anybody Hear Her, by Casting Crowns;
81. Birdplane, by The Axis Of Awesome;
82. Drowned, by Tim Minchin;
83. In Pieces, by Shannon Noll;
84. Stranded, by Latch Key Kid;
85. Waiting On The World To Change, by John Mayer;
86. New Song, by Jordan Worner;
87. Happy, by Ayeisha Woods;
88. Be Like That, by 3 Doors Down;
89. May It Be, by Enya;
90. You Found Me, by The Fray;
91. Light Up The sky, by The Afters;
92. Breathe Into Me, by RED;
93. Give Me Your Eyes, by Brandon Heath;
94. Angel In The Alleyway, by Latch Key Kid;
95. The Scientist, by Coldplay;
96. Reflections, by Jay Seeney;
97. Collide, by Howie Day;
98. Poker Face, by Lady Gaga;
99. Kids, by MGMT;
100. Scar, by Missy Higgins.

93. is reprised at the end.

Thoughts on the future.

My life has had an interesting few twists and turns here and there. In high school, I was doing mostly sciences. In uni, I did music. Now, I'm doing outdoor rec. Just a little different.

But part of that's been because I just like so many different things. And part of it's also because that's what worked for me at the time, and what I needed then.

Because, in a way, I know what it is I want to be doing for the rest of my life. The problem is, it's a bit difficult to get paid for; and even if that was a possibility, I don't think I'd want to be. I'd think that that might well ruin it for me, in some ways. But, of course, money is something it becomes a bit hard to get by without in this day and age. Especially if one day you want to have a partner and raise a family, which I do.
So, until I can figure something else out, this is what I do.

But I'd love to be able to write my music more often. And write for screen media - TV, film, games. Or musicals! That would be fun. And playing my own music. And just writing other stuff as well. Stories, books, plays, musicals, talks, so many things I have in my head that I could write that it's ridiculous. I have an encyclopaedia of encyclopaedias in my head :P And acting more - plays, musicals, maybe TV or film sometime, doing some voice acting for games. And volunteering for different things - OzHarvest is one thing I've wanted to get involved with for a while. Having worked in a kitchen, you can imagine I'm not a fan of wastage. Maybe even some stuff with Voice of the Martyrs at some point. Heck, I'd love to just get more involved with my own church - being able to get actively involved in leading and organising the Youth Group, organising the computer, doing admin, helping lead worship maybe, perhaps preaching sometime if I ever get up to there. Get a degree in Theology or something similar beforehand, might be an idea. (Not that I think the latter is required for the former - I have preached twice before. Just helps.) I'd love to study more in other areas too - Psychology, Language, History to name a few. I'd love to really learn and study Quenya in-depth. I'd love to see the world. All of it. I'd love to be able to run more often. (Speaking of which, *shameless self-promotion* doing a 100km run that I need to get some sponsors for. If you want to find out more, look here: http://www.wildendurance.org.au/event.php If you would like to sponsor me - which would be seven levels of amazing - look here: http://events.wildendurance.org.au/Bjraymond )I'd really love to be able to put time and effort into the relationships I have with people that I really treasure. I'd love to be able to make this brain do all I know it can do.

But yeah. At the moment, a lot of that is just dreaming, unfortunately.
I now have a folder on my desktop entitled "Projects". Essentially for everything I would put time into if I had time to put into it. That folder isn't ever going to be empty, I can tell you that right now.

By the way, just thought I should mention. Don't think I'm just saying this all because I don't like my job. I love it, it's fantastic. The only problem with it is, the best bit of it is the worst bit - you go away on camps and have heaps of fun, but you're away from everything so much. It sucks up your time like you wouldn't believe. Combine that with TAFE - plus other stuff I'm involved with - and it gets ridiculous. But I do love it. :)

So yeah, I wish I could do everything up there. But most of that either costs money, or doesn't give you much money. And if it does, I probably don't want it to.
There's the quandary of me for you.

The Effect Of Mass.

There aren’t a lot of games I play any more these days. Part of that's because I don't have a lot of time on my hands; part of that's because I don't have a lot of cash on my hands; part of that's because I've come up to some spots in games I want to finish first that I'm finding difficult to get past.

But there's one series I've basically always enjoyed, and I'm now playing through again. And that's the Mass Effect series.

For those that aren't at all familiar with it (:P), it's a spage-age action RPG. But it's also very heavily story-oriented; and that, I suppose, is what I like so much about it. It presents you with difficult choices; choices that have a real implication on your game, and in the latter games as well. Choices that will have a real implication on your characters, and whether they will all survive or not.

It's not just a point-and-shoot game that you fudge through. If you want, you could probably make it like that. Set it on the easiest settings, skip through the dialog and cutscenes, click any conversation choices that will cut it short. But that won't give you the best Mass Effect experience. If you want something like that, go play Halo. This game isn't for you.

This game will make you choose between destroying the last creature of an entire race that used to mercilessly destroy you, or accept their claim that they did not know what they were doing. This game will make you choose whether or not you shoot your teammate who's endangering your mission, or put effort into sticking him back on track. This game will make you choose between one of your squad members, and another one. And the one you didn't choose gets killed.
And that's just in the first game.

In the third game you're making the really tough decisions almost straight away. Like whether to cure the sickness of a whole race and guarantee their allegiance, or only pretend to and gain the allegiance of another's that originally caused the sickness. Both races are ridiculously invaluable.

This game makes you really think. About the choices that you make, and the impact that they have. And if you don't think, then you learn pretty quickly. And you shape your character. You can make them into an all-guns-blazing, no-nonsense hard-as-nails war hero. You can make them into someone with awesome tech skills and sabotage everything, or having these super abilities that can throw people around the room. You can make them into someone who cares, and will always try and get everyone out alive and well.
You can equip them with every single upgrade, weapon and armour available, or decide to spend your resources elsewhere. You can spend all your time looking for every little hidden item, every single achievement, or just play through the game as you go.

Often, as you can imagine, the characters people end up making will largely reflect on the people playing them.

Of course, there are downsides to the game. I'm playing through the first game at the moment, and I'm remembering how annoying I found all that driving around. (I'm also loving unlimited ammo while I have it ;D ) In the second one, I'll be finding that mining mini-game annoying. Just the kind of stuff that you can spend half an hour on and have absolutely nothing happen in terms of story or action. More the former for me, but even the latter would have been nice at that point. Just not a fan of the grinding.

But, by and large, there's a good reason that I'm re-playing it through. I mean, I'm doing it just because I heard that it plays differently in the third game if you stay with the same girl throughout the series. Originally, I went with the human one in ME1 and then the different human in ME2, because the first one isn't even there. I didn't even realise that you could stick with her. This time, I'm planning to go through ME1 without anyone, then stick with the second girl.
But I'm playing through all three again - just to get material that I won't begin to see until the third game. That should tell you enough about the game, really. Or maybe me. Potato, Potahto.

Either way, this series remains my favourite story game ever. And I haven't even mentioned technical aspects like graphics, music, SFX, or anything like that. (They're all amazing.)
But I suppose I just wanted to write something in memory of a trilogy of games that I'm really going to remember, and that I really enjoyed. And I know that a lot of other people really did as well.

:)

Broken.

The other night at church, we had an Encounter Night. The idea is that it gives you lots of different opportunities to encounter God. Prayer, offering, creative connection, etc. There were a couple of moments that really made a bit of a mark with me on that night, that I wanted to share.

One I very much didn't expect. One of the other guys at church - that I know quite well - said this to me while I was standing next to him: "When a candle lights another candle, it doesn't lose any of its light." It should be noted that we were standing just in front of a full plate of them then, hence the comment. But it was one that hit me, I think - because one of the things I think I'd always thought that when I gave to others, it was coming away from myself. I suppose recalling somewhat that phrase from Lord of the Rings - "I give hope to men; I keep none for myself." But that's not necessarily the case. And that was heartening to know.

The other one was when I went over to the drawing section. I'd had an idea for here straight away - a sort of gradient going through the colour Bible (as I remember it: green for the original creation, black for the fall/our sin, red for Jesus' blood, white for the purity Jesus gives us, yellow for heaven). Well, that was all well and good. But when I got to red, I wanted it to be really deeply in the paper. So I was pressing really hard on the pencil. And it tore through the paper. And then I thought - actually, that works. So I proceeded to do a diagonal tear pretty much across the whole paper in the middle of the tear.
It showed to me that Jesus didn't just cover over sin. He didn't just plonk it somewhere else. He broke himself, putting up a barrier between us and sin. That doesn't mean that we will never sin - but it does mean that when he cleanses us, sin will never cover us again.

I thought that that was pretty cool :)