I Get You.

This all started when a friend of mine, Jason, pointed out that I use the phrase "I get you," rather frequently. And he's right, I do. Both in verbal and online conversation. He's actually been encouraging me to do some talking in schools and the like, and joked that I could use it as a bit of a tagline. Then - my brain working the way it does - I started to think of the philosophy behind the phrase, and actually came up with the end of a speech centring around that idea. Then, at the Beyond Festival I was at last weekend, another friend of mine, Chris, led a creative session where he had a pre-cut lino print that we had to print out, and then fill in the image with what our 'social justice movement' would look like. What we'd get out on to the streets and shout about, wave banners saying, etc. Those who know me well enough might know that I'm not really the type to be waving banners or shouting on the streets - I can be fairly shy, and I'm also not very confrontational. To me, banner-waving is very "us vs them" thinking, whereas I like to try and work in a more inclusive way, that doesn't force people to one side or another. But "I get you," is straight away what my mind went to. And so we have the print below.

You can't read the text too well, except for the bigger banners. That's what I'll get to now, by talking about the actual thought behind this phrase. As a side note - this gives you a bit of insight into how much thought I put into everything that I do.

Part of the idea very much comes from a quote by Dr Stephen R. Covey, when he was talking about one of the concepts in his book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People. It was his fifth habit, Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This is the quote: "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." The basic meaning of "I get you," is "I understand you." I get where you're coming from. I'm listening. Note; this does not presuppose that you agree with whoever is talking. That isn't required. And that isn't what's most important. What's most important is understanding, and compassion. These are more important than agreement and consensus.

Across the top of that poster, I wrote this:

Disputes are fuelled by misunderstanding. Misunderstanding is fuelled by a lack of listening. A lack of listening is fuelled by a lack of compassion.
Compassion and understanding can solve near any dispute.

So much of the time, discussion and argument happens because everyone is clamouring for their side to be heard. They're not ready to listen, much less understand, to what the other people are saying. They're just thinking about how they're going to reply. They're just thinking about the "but". The rebuttal, the counter. And I know there are times when I've been guilty of this as well. Even in times where I've been wanting to help someone - because I'm wanting to help, when I'm listening to them, I'm just thinking about what advice I could offer, or how I could help them in other ways, rather than actually engaging in what they're saying and trying to understand the situation.

There is a time for advice and help, yes. But first - let's get understanding and compassion right. Let's learn how to listen again. Let's start saying "I get you," rather than focussing on whether we're going to say "I agree," or "I disagree". If we did that a little bit more - then maybe the world would be a better place. #IGetYou

And that, folks, is how much thought I put into those three words. Yep. That's also bits of the speech that I came up with, and all the bits from the poster are in there. I've joked with Jason that we should have #IGetYou t-shirts made up. Reminds me a little of the Free Hugs movement. Though they're certainly not mutually exclusive. Hugs are awesome.

Anyway, that's enough from me for now. I think I'll have a couple more posts up over the next couple of days (hopefully) to do with one of the talks that I was in at Beyond Festival as well, and it gets into some pretty heavy stuff. So we'll see how that goes.