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Monday 16 May 2022

Ukulele in the park at midnight.

I want to tell a story. It's part of a story of how I moved towards being an LGBTQIA+ affirming Christian. This is one of many such stories, but it stands out to me still today.

Many years ago, there was a cafe called Mars Hill Cafe in Parramatta. Particularly in my uni days, I would be there most months for open mic nights, songwriter sessions, and the like. It was a really great place, with lovely people. Good food as well. They even had boardgames there, that you could bring out to your table and play with people while you were eating. But, for various reasons, it had to close down one day.

I went to the closing down party, because it had been such a big part of my life for the last few years. While I was there for dinner, there were a few other folks there sitting down and about to play a game. I ended up in conversation with them, and joining them for the game. The game was Monopoly (I know, terrible! But this was a while ago), and I can't remember who won or much about it, but we had fun. And the folks were queer. It was a while back, so I can't really remember names that well, but we had a good time together, and we all ended up adding each other on Facebook.

Not long after, Vivid was happening in Sydney, and so they were like, hey, we should catch up and see Vivid together! And so we did. It was crazy busy, massive crowds, and so we took a while to be able to get anywhere. They ended up getting bored fairly quickly, so they were like, hey, we'll take you to some gay bars! I'd never been to a gay bar before. I'd very rarely even been to a bar before xD I remember at one point they were playing a drinking game, but I didn't drink. So I was playing it while drinking water. Guess who won? :P We roamed around from place to place, and I had brought my ukulele along (as you do), and was playing that in bits and pieces too. I have one distinct memory of playing it as we were running through Hyde Park.

But what was strange to me was that, the next morning, I was preaching at a church. And I wondered what they would think, if they knew that the night before I had been to a bunch of gay bars with a group of queer people. I thought they probably wouldn't like that. And that made me sad. Because it felt right. It felt good to be there, with those people (I know now that I'm queer, but certainly had no clue of it then), and there was genuine joy in that experience.

I think Jesus knew what he was doing, when he lived amongst people. So often when we judge people, we're judging people that we don't know. That are outside, and unknown, and strange, and different. But when we spend time with people - when we share a meal with them, talk with them, start relationship with them - these boundaries between "us" and "them" break down, and we realise that we are not all that different. That's not just a Christian and queer thing, that's a people thing. You can apply it across to lots of situations. But I think it works well here. Often, growing up, it felt like queer people were condemned by many Christians because who they were or what they did was somehow seen as inherently wrong or different. But the more I got to know queer people, the more I saw that this was crazy. They weren't any different to me. (Of course, later on I would figure out I was queer too, but that took me a while.) Their love was the same as mine, just as real as mine, just as precious as mine. Who they were was no less or more than any other person.

Over the years, I'm grateful that I've been able to have many such experiences with queer people, that have helped me to see the truth. But this is one that lives in my memory most clearly. And so I thought that I would share it, in case it helps others.

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