For those who haven't heard, the verdict on Cardinal Pell has just come out. Shocker - he's been found guilty.
If you've been living under a rock, Cardinal George Pell (the highest ranking member of the Roman Catholic Church in Australia) was (a while ago now) accused of sexually assaulting underage boys. Strangely enough, he denied this claim. After some time, he has now been found guilty, and that verdict has been released.
It's the latest in a long line of higher-ranking religious men, particularly in the Roman Catholic Church, who have been accused - and found guilty - of sexually assaulting minors. If you don't know much about it, go watch Spotlight on Netflix when you've got a couple of hours. It does a great job of telling the story.
But I think people are starting to ask the question - why is this such a widespread issue? How has this happened? And so that's something I thought I'd take a look at.
Let's say that you are a man in the Roman Catholic Church. You're quite devoted to your church, and so you decide to spend some time and become one of the clergy. You can't marry, and you spend a number of years in seminary, and some time as a deacon, before becoming a priest. It's a lot of hard work to get there, and there's a lot of pressure.
When you do become a priest, you promise to obey what the bishop says, stay celibate (don't have sex), and live a Godly life. That last one in particular can be a lot to live up to. But now, as a priest, you have certain privileges. You can minister to those under your care, and you learn about things that you didn't know before.
You're given power that you didn't have before. You have a certain level of access - both to areas, and to people, that you didn't have before. And there is a level of secrecy, or at least, lack of transparency, around many things that happen. Things are kept in confidence - after all, this is the point of the confessional. All that you would have to add to this volatile mix is an opportunity.
I should note. I do not intend this to mean that people join the priesthood explicitly to do these things. That would be highly (and, I'm fairly certain demonstrably) incorrect to suggest. What I do believe is the case, however, is that some people, when introduced to this environment - where they are given power, access, secrecy, and opportunity, and are under pressure - can use that in a bad way. Many won't, and haven't. When I'm saying 'many' and 'some', by the way; I'm meaning in comparison to the total number of priests. Not just as, this is a lot of people. Because it is, as you probably know, a large number of priests that have offended in this way. But in terms of percentage - it's about 4%. (At least, according to this study that I'm looking at.)
Unfortunately, churches - and not just Roman Catholic ones - can create situations which make it easier and less visible for leaders to hurt others in this way. Thankfully, we are now realising this, and starting to put measures in place to ensure that this doesn't happen again, now or in the future.
But I think this is also something that you can apply in different ways, to different organisations, and with different crimes. When you have this mix of power, access, secrecy, pressure, and opportunity - sometimes, even people that we'd think of as quite good, can turn down paths that are really quite terrible. It's why, more and more, people are emphasising the importance of transparency within organisations. Of accountability, and even rest.
There's a lot of work to be done. But perhaps, slowly, we might start to see some changes happening. Until then - keep pushing.
Tuesday, 26 February 2019
Thursday, 24 January 2019
Screwtape #3 - Patriotism
My dear Wormwood,
I hear you've had a new assignment. Don't get too cocky about it, though, or you'll stuff it up like last time.
You say that there's a wave of nationalism sweeping through the country at the moment, and you're wondering what to do with your patient in response to it. Well, we have two choices. If he is the sort that secretly wishes he was born somewhere else, and actually thinks his own country is a bit stupid, then feel free to push him against it. Let him declare that all nationalism is, in fact, idolatrous, and should be stamped out at once. Let him follow this with such conviction that his anti-nationalism becomes poisonous, and is in itself idolatry.
But, if he is of the other persuasion, and instead loves singing the praises of his country - as, it seems, your patient is more than happy to do - then let him declare his love for his country from the rooftops! Let him say that he is the one that loves his country most, that nobody could love it more! In fact, that anyone who does not love their country should be shot on the spot, for daring to consume the same air, the ungrateful swine. Let him put the country upon such a pedestal that nothing could ever seek to replace it.
Let him entwine his ideas of God, with his ideas of his country - to the point where he starts to believe that by loving his country, he is actually loving God as well. And, indeed, those that do not love their country must be unreligious heathen, and need to be converted, evicted, or wiped out! Push him ever closer to the edge, and then watch as he himself jumps off. He will start saying that his country should be pure, clean, undefiled; that nobody should be allowed in, if they aren't special like him. That the swine and the scum should be cleaned off the face of the earth!
And if you manage to convince him in such a direction, I shall speak to the demons own in our political division, as I understand your subject has certain aspirations. I'm sure that with some small encouragement, if he proves to be malleable to our cause, that we could easily see him climbing the ranks to the top. All in the name of his God and country, of course, and none could say otherwise; but really, he shall be nothing more than a puppet, leading those under him as far astray as we can take them.
You doubt that this can happen? Well, my young Wormwood, you have clearly not read up on the human wars of the last century. Do Soviet Russia, or Nazi Germany, not ring any bells? Goodness, the education these days really isn't up to par.
Rest assured. If your patient is half the man I think he is - he will do much work for us yet. I only hope that you are up to the task.
Your affectionate uncle,
Screwtape
I hear you've had a new assignment. Don't get too cocky about it, though, or you'll stuff it up like last time.
You say that there's a wave of nationalism sweeping through the country at the moment, and you're wondering what to do with your patient in response to it. Well, we have two choices. If he is the sort that secretly wishes he was born somewhere else, and actually thinks his own country is a bit stupid, then feel free to push him against it. Let him declare that all nationalism is, in fact, idolatrous, and should be stamped out at once. Let him follow this with such conviction that his anti-nationalism becomes poisonous, and is in itself idolatry.
But, if he is of the other persuasion, and instead loves singing the praises of his country - as, it seems, your patient is more than happy to do - then let him declare his love for his country from the rooftops! Let him say that he is the one that loves his country most, that nobody could love it more! In fact, that anyone who does not love their country should be shot on the spot, for daring to consume the same air, the ungrateful swine. Let him put the country upon such a pedestal that nothing could ever seek to replace it.
Let him entwine his ideas of God, with his ideas of his country - to the point where he starts to believe that by loving his country, he is actually loving God as well. And, indeed, those that do not love their country must be unreligious heathen, and need to be converted, evicted, or wiped out! Push him ever closer to the edge, and then watch as he himself jumps off. He will start saying that his country should be pure, clean, undefiled; that nobody should be allowed in, if they aren't special like him. That the swine and the scum should be cleaned off the face of the earth!
And if you manage to convince him in such a direction, I shall speak to the demons own in our political division, as I understand your subject has certain aspirations. I'm sure that with some small encouragement, if he proves to be malleable to our cause, that we could easily see him climbing the ranks to the top. All in the name of his God and country, of course, and none could say otherwise; but really, he shall be nothing more than a puppet, leading those under him as far astray as we can take them.
You doubt that this can happen? Well, my young Wormwood, you have clearly not read up on the human wars of the last century. Do Soviet Russia, or Nazi Germany, not ring any bells? Goodness, the education these days really isn't up to par.
Rest assured. If your patient is half the man I think he is - he will do much work for us yet. I only hope that you are up to the task.
Your affectionate uncle,
Screwtape
Friday, 18 January 2019
The Best A Man Can Get....
Is probably not Gillette, but how would I know?
I'm feeling a bit like a broken record, with already a few posts over the last year and a bit about masculinity, but it seems like it's the hot topic of the day. So, off we go again!
If you're not sure what I'm talking about yet, Gillette recently released an ad that's become quite the hotbed of discussion. (Apparently it's #2 trending on YouTube. There you go.) Why? Because it's about toxic masculinity.
For those not down with the lingo yet, toxic masculinity isn't saying, "all men are toxic!" Rather, it's a way of describing a certain group of behaviours often portrayed in men, and generally associated with 'traditional masculinity', that could be called toxic. I do a decent post about it here, but I also recommend this video talking about it. Basically, it's a way of recognising that the traditional ways of saying what men should be like are actually super-duper unhelpful. Boys will be boys? Man up, toughen up? Bragging about sexual victories, alcoholic exploits, speeding or that time you beat someone up? More and more people are recognising now that these things aren't okay, and doing work to discourage these behaviours. But old habits die hard.
In steps Gillette. Which is surprising for a number of reasons. a) Their audience, which is largely men (hence the slogan). And, given b) their previous advertising, probably more of the 'traditional masculinity' or 'toxic masculinity' variety than not. They have a tendency to do ads along the lines of, "use our product, and scores of beautiful women will come running after you." Very healthy, right? Also, c) they're a big company. And finally, d) they have an interesting track record in terms of their moral compass, shall we say.
And yet, they do this. And the ad itself is quite well done. The video is pretty great, really, and it would be awesome to see more advertising like this happening.
But the response was overwhelmingly and immediately negative. A large number of people have now started a movement to boycott Gillette because of the ad, and though there are also many voices speaking out in its defence, not nearly as many. Why? Basically, see the reasons from earlier. Gillette's main audience is pretty much exactly the audience that is going to react against this sort of message. Plus, their motives are....questionable, at best.
So, where are we now? I'd argue that the content itself is done well. But because it's Gillette - people ask questions. People raise issues. Which is fair.
But it's also sad that one of the better pieces of content that has a call for action around toxic masculinity has been shouted down so quickly. Hopefully, in time, we'll see some that are welcomed more openly. I guess we'll see.
I'm feeling a bit like a broken record, with already a few posts over the last year and a bit about masculinity, but it seems like it's the hot topic of the day. So, off we go again!
If you're not sure what I'm talking about yet, Gillette recently released an ad that's become quite the hotbed of discussion. (Apparently it's #2 trending on YouTube. There you go.) Why? Because it's about toxic masculinity.
For those not down with the lingo yet, toxic masculinity isn't saying, "all men are toxic!" Rather, it's a way of describing a certain group of behaviours often portrayed in men, and generally associated with 'traditional masculinity', that could be called toxic. I do a decent post about it here, but I also recommend this video talking about it. Basically, it's a way of recognising that the traditional ways of saying what men should be like are actually super-duper unhelpful. Boys will be boys? Man up, toughen up? Bragging about sexual victories, alcoholic exploits, speeding or that time you beat someone up? More and more people are recognising now that these things aren't okay, and doing work to discourage these behaviours. But old habits die hard.
In steps Gillette. Which is surprising for a number of reasons. a) Their audience, which is largely men (hence the slogan). And, given b) their previous advertising, probably more of the 'traditional masculinity' or 'toxic masculinity' variety than not. They have a tendency to do ads along the lines of, "use our product, and scores of beautiful women will come running after you." Very healthy, right? Also, c) they're a big company. And finally, d) they have an interesting track record in terms of their moral compass, shall we say.
And yet, they do this. And the ad itself is quite well done. The video is pretty great, really, and it would be awesome to see more advertising like this happening.
But the response was overwhelmingly and immediately negative. A large number of people have now started a movement to boycott Gillette because of the ad, and though there are also many voices speaking out in its defence, not nearly as many. Why? Basically, see the reasons from earlier. Gillette's main audience is pretty much exactly the audience that is going to react against this sort of message. Plus, their motives are....questionable, at best.
So, where are we now? I'd argue that the content itself is done well. But because it's Gillette - people ask questions. People raise issues. Which is fair.
But it's also sad that one of the better pieces of content that has a call for action around toxic masculinity has been shouted down so quickly. Hopefully, in time, we'll see some that are welcomed more openly. I guess we'll see.
Tuesday, 8 January 2019
....and starting 2019.
Well. I'm doing this slightly later than expected, but perhaps that's for the better.
This year is looking epic and crazy and many other words besides. But also awesome. Let me let you in on a bit of what's on the table.
One of the bigger consumers of my time, at least for the first half of the year, will be directing The Crucible. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's a play about the Salem witch trials. If you don't know about those, Google it. But it's a pretty well-known play, and it's rather big. About twenty in the cast. Which is massive for a play, which often have less than ten in their cast. Five or less isn't uncommon. So, yeah. Pretty big. Particularly for me as a first-time director. Not really sure what to expect, but I've got a good team. And I've been wanting to direct The Crucible for a few years now, so I'm really looking forward to this. But yeah. It's going to be crazy.
Work is chugging along fairly well. Still doing a combined amount of between three and four days a week with the two jobs, which seems to work fairly well for me. Work more, and I have less time for this sort of thing - but work less, and I'm stretching the budget a bit tight! So it's a fun balance. But that's okay. I'm used to that.
Music at church is actually going really well. Quite a bit of growth has been happening in the evening service over the last months, which is very encouraging. More young adults and youth! Which is awesome. I used to be pretty much the only one my age there. Not the case any more! And that's really nice.
Bits at the radio station are moving along fairly well too. I'm getting a little bit of variance in what I'm doing at the moment, which I rather like. Variety is the spice of life! Particularly for me, so that's nice. As always, just enjoying the environment and the people there. Great people :)
I'm hoping to get my tabletop gaming group back on board this year. (See what I did there? ;) ) I've picked up a few new games over the last while, and I may have been a bit naughty and ordered Pandemic Legacy: Season One over Christmas. To say I'm keen would be a large understatement. A game that I'm working on has parts that are actually inspired by legacy games, so I'm really interested to actually give one a go myself.
But, as some of you may already be well aware of by now, there's some bigger news as well. I may be....well.....engaged. :D <3
I know, I know. All very soon. Thalia and I have been dating for a grand total of almost nine months now, and known each other for about a month longer. Less than a year! Preposterous.
....needless to say, we've been talking about it for a fair while, and have given it a fair bit of thought. We're not just rushing into it because we're crazy touchy-feely for each other. (Though people that have seen us together may still describe us in that way.....we're working on it.) We're actually very much committed to each other, and have spent a fair bit of time going over this with God, and getting advice from others as well. We're also giving ourselves a fairly long engagement - mostly just to plan and save up, but it also means that we have more time to really know each other deeply as well.
So, yeah. That's going to be taking up a good chunk of my year as well. We're looking at January next year. I'll be letting people know dates when things are confirmed and all that, which isn't now. But, like I said, we've been talking about it for a while. Doesn't make it any less crazy, though! Particularly when I introduce her as my fiancée.....goodness. (Pro tip: fiancé with one e is for the guy, whereas two is for the girl. Who knew?) I'm still getting used to that. But I certainly prefer it to girlfriend! Never liked the word. But never came up with a decent replacement, either. Anyway.
Well. That's what my year is looking like at the moment. Hopefully, it doesn't get too much busier! But I guess we'll see. I'm hoping I can really keep these (and maybe one or two other bits) as the main things I'm focussing on, but life has a way of throwing your plans every which way. Until next time, folks!
This year is looking epic and crazy and many other words besides. But also awesome. Let me let you in on a bit of what's on the table.
One of the bigger consumers of my time, at least for the first half of the year, will be directing The Crucible. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's a play about the Salem witch trials. If you don't know about those, Google it. But it's a pretty well-known play, and it's rather big. About twenty in the cast. Which is massive for a play, which often have less than ten in their cast. Five or less isn't uncommon. So, yeah. Pretty big. Particularly for me as a first-time director. Not really sure what to expect, but I've got a good team. And I've been wanting to direct The Crucible for a few years now, so I'm really looking forward to this. But yeah. It's going to be crazy.
Work is chugging along fairly well. Still doing a combined amount of between three and four days a week with the two jobs, which seems to work fairly well for me. Work more, and I have less time for this sort of thing - but work less, and I'm stretching the budget a bit tight! So it's a fun balance. But that's okay. I'm used to that.
Music at church is actually going really well. Quite a bit of growth has been happening in the evening service over the last months, which is very encouraging. More young adults and youth! Which is awesome. I used to be pretty much the only one my age there. Not the case any more! And that's really nice.
Bits at the radio station are moving along fairly well too. I'm getting a little bit of variance in what I'm doing at the moment, which I rather like. Variety is the spice of life! Particularly for me, so that's nice. As always, just enjoying the environment and the people there. Great people :)
I'm hoping to get my tabletop gaming group back on board this year. (See what I did there? ;) ) I've picked up a few new games over the last while, and I may have been a bit naughty and ordered Pandemic Legacy: Season One over Christmas. To say I'm keen would be a large understatement. A game that I'm working on has parts that are actually inspired by legacy games, so I'm really interested to actually give one a go myself.
But, as some of you may already be well aware of by now, there's some bigger news as well. I may be....well.....engaged. :D <3
I know, I know. All very soon. Thalia and I have been dating for a grand total of almost nine months now, and known each other for about a month longer. Less than a year! Preposterous.
....needless to say, we've been talking about it for a fair while, and have given it a fair bit of thought. We're not just rushing into it because we're crazy touchy-feely for each other. (Though people that have seen us together may still describe us in that way.....we're working on it.) We're actually very much committed to each other, and have spent a fair bit of time going over this with God, and getting advice from others as well. We're also giving ourselves a fairly long engagement - mostly just to plan and save up, but it also means that we have more time to really know each other deeply as well.
So, yeah. That's going to be taking up a good chunk of my year as well. We're looking at January next year. I'll be letting people know dates when things are confirmed and all that, which isn't now. But, like I said, we've been talking about it for a while. Doesn't make it any less crazy, though! Particularly when I introduce her as my fiancée.....goodness. (Pro tip: fiancé with one e is for the guy, whereas two is for the girl. Who knew?) I'm still getting used to that. But I certainly prefer it to girlfriend! Never liked the word. But never came up with a decent replacement, either. Anyway.
Well. That's what my year is looking like at the moment. Hopefully, it doesn't get too much busier! But I guess we'll see. I'm hoping I can really keep these (and maybe one or two other bits) as the main things I'm focussing on, but life has a way of throwing your plans every which way. Until next time, folks!
Friday, 28 December 2018
Wrapping up 2018.....
We've gotten to the end of the year! How did that happen so quickly?
Rather a lot has happened since the beginning of this year. I started working on a play up on the Central Coast, where I was an evil Italian puppeteer (aka Stromboli). I worked as the Assistant Director for the first time on another play down here, Of Mice and Men. I met Thalia, and we started dating! I submitted an application to direct The Crucible, which was accepted. I did another couple of Cru camps. I came up with a new idea for a board game, Discovery. I ended up needing to be on stage for Of Mice and Men, as Whit, the wit-less! I've come over to Perth for Christmas with my Dad's side of the family, where I'm writing this now. And me and Thalia have now been dating for eight months. Which is both ages, and no time at all....
Oh, and work was in there too.
It's been a busy year, but a good year. A really good year. It's been four years now since I did Impart back in 2014, which was previously my best year. A year of spring; new beginnings. Since then, I had some harder years, though there were certainly good things in there as well. But it's been difficult.
This year was another spring year. And it was amazing. It's hard to tell if it was better than 2014 - but it sure gives it a run for its money! There are a lot of incredible things that have been happening this year; dreams being fulfilled, impossible things starting, and adventures beginning.
And as the year comes to an end, I'm just so thankful for everything that's happened. And the vast majority of it has very little to do with my own efforts, or things I've done. Really, it's been thanks to God. He's been very generous to me this year, and it's been incredible seeing what he's been doing over the past twelve months. It hasn't been perfect, no - and I know that my relationship with Thalia has distracted me from my relationship with God at points. Which isn't good. But he keeps sticking with us - for some reason - and it's been amazing seeing that happen.
I have a few ideas about what's ahead for next year. Both in terms of what I know is happening, and also what I want to happen. But I might leave that for another post....
Rather a lot has happened since the beginning of this year. I started working on a play up on the Central Coast, where I was an evil Italian puppeteer (aka Stromboli). I worked as the Assistant Director for the first time on another play down here, Of Mice and Men. I met Thalia, and we started dating! I submitted an application to direct The Crucible, which was accepted. I did another couple of Cru camps. I came up with a new idea for a board game, Discovery. I ended up needing to be on stage for Of Mice and Men, as Whit, the wit-less! I've come over to Perth for Christmas with my Dad's side of the family, where I'm writing this now. And me and Thalia have now been dating for eight months. Which is both ages, and no time at all....
Oh, and work was in there too.
It's been a busy year, but a good year. A really good year. It's been four years now since I did Impart back in 2014, which was previously my best year. A year of spring; new beginnings. Since then, I had some harder years, though there were certainly good things in there as well. But it's been difficult.
This year was another spring year. And it was amazing. It's hard to tell if it was better than 2014 - but it sure gives it a run for its money! There are a lot of incredible things that have been happening this year; dreams being fulfilled, impossible things starting, and adventures beginning.
And as the year comes to an end, I'm just so thankful for everything that's happened. And the vast majority of it has very little to do with my own efforts, or things I've done. Really, it's been thanks to God. He's been very generous to me this year, and it's been incredible seeing what he's been doing over the past twelve months. It hasn't been perfect, no - and I know that my relationship with Thalia has distracted me from my relationship with God at points. Which isn't good. But he keeps sticking with us - for some reason - and it's been amazing seeing that happen.
I have a few ideas about what's ahead for next year. Both in terms of what I know is happening, and also what I want to happen. But I might leave that for another post....
Saturday, 15 December 2018
On PDAs.
No, not a Personal Digital Assistant. (And yes, for those wondering, that's what the other PDA stood for! I had to look it up.) We're talking Public Displays of Affection here. Particularly of the Personal and Physical variety, rather than the General or Verbal.....though usually that's what it's taken to mean. But it doesn't specify in the wording! So it's good to be specific.
The other week, me and Thalia were at a party where a friend of Thalia's approached her afterwards and said that we had made her uncomfortable with the level of physical affection that we were showing to each other. She had noted it in a joking fashion quite early on, and so we had pulled back - but evidently not to a level where she felt comfortable. (I have run this post past the friend first, she's okay for me to post it!)
Before I continue, I want to note that this is not me just going, this is wrong, this isn't, etc, dadadada. Things are always subtle and complex, people are people, your situation is unique. Be smart and such.
But it got me thinking. Because for me, being able to show my affection for someone publicly is actually something very significant and important. It's showing them that I don't just love them and treat them well when it's just us; I act the same around their friends, around my friends, around family. I'm not saying I act exactly the same in all those circumstances - but in all of them, I endeavour to show my love and affection in a way that is visible to her, and to others.
It's also important to me because, growing up, I didn't do that so much. I was much more inward-focussed, and tended to not show my emotion as much as some. Which is probably fairly typical for a guy. But that's not want to be any more, and not what I've wanted to be for quite a while.
So that's on my level. On an us level; both me and Thalia have physical touch quite high as love languages. For her, it's her primary love language. It's about my second or third - I'm not sure which it is in a relationship. I think quality time is still my primary one, though. But physical touch is still very high. And so it's important to both of us that we don't ignore that.
But going beyond us - as you probably know, many people find PDAs uncomfortable. You might be one of those people. You may turn away from the couple kissing in public, or the partners getting a little too close, or other similar displays. But why is this? Why do people find it uncomfortable? Arguably, showing love for each other is a good thing, whether public or private. Demonstrating that in a visible way is a good thing. That shouldn't change depending on where we are. So where does this uncomfortability come from?
Well, I have a theory. I haven't looked it up or anything - perhaps someone else can do that - it's just a thought that I've had. But I think it comes primarily from the generations before us.
Many people have grown up with parents or grandparents that didn't really show much affection, or not in a physical way. They weren't really huggers. My dad wasn't one until more recently! Some, or even many, may have discouraged this type of affection among their children, either directly or indirectly. And so physical affection became an uncomfortable thing to see and do, rather than a good and wholesome thing. And if you didn't grow up that way, you could easily be brought into it by others that were. Convinced that it was the norm - or the way things should be.
But I want to argue that this is not the case. Or, at least, it should not be. I'm not saying that people should be on top of each other in public. But showing your affection in a physical way - hugging, kissing, holding hands, arms around each other, stroking hair - these and other gestures like them are natural and good ways to show love for each other, and that shouldn't be constrained to just times when you're alone with somebody.
Yes, you will find people that are sensitive. Guaranteed. There are times and places that it will be awkward. Uncomfortable. And unfortunately, as people, we tend to avoid awkward and uncomfortable - but these are the places where we are challenged. Grown. Where we learn more about ourselves, and other people. And this is so important.
I'm not saying this as a blanket statement, as mentioned earlier. But, in general - public displays of affection? Let's make them uncomfortable and awkward no more. Let's teach other people, and particularly the next generation, that showing affection for each other in a visible way, in a physical way, is a good, healthy, and natural thing to do. :) <3
Wednesday, 21 November 2018
Working On Work.
NB: This will be somewhat ranty at points. You have been warned.
It seems like the more I work, the less I want to. Perhaps this isn't a particularly radical thing, and is just "normal" for many people. I realise that a rather large percentage of people do jobs that they don't enjoy, or that they aren't passionate about, and that I should be grateful to even have a job, and all that sort of thing. And the jobs that I have actually are pretty great. I mean, I work at one of the most recognisable Christian companies in Sydney; and my other job is getting paid to do music. But it's still - work. (I do want to reinforce, I'm not complaining about my jobs specifically! Please don't hear that. Not the intention of this post.)
I'm not really built for work, I think. Part of it's just in terms of what I'm good at/not good at. For instance, I'm very much not good at anything that involves physical labour, or going fast. I'm not good at doing the same thing over and over again. I'm not good at selling things.
But it's also just - I can't handle full-time work. I just can't. I've been doing full-time (and a bit more) hours the past couple of weeks, and it's been killing me. I'm only 26, so you wouldn't think it would affect me that much, but it does.
It seems that if I don't have some space to create, to work on my own projects a bit, to just play around here and there - I kinda die a little. I already found this out on the extreme end back in 2013, but that was over a full year, with a lot of other junk happening as well. But I didn't think that would happen if I didn't have all that junk. Turns out it still does - but I'm able to tell early enough, so I can keep myself healthy. Work tires me out more than it probably does most people. Or at least, it does when I haven't gotten enough sleep, and I'm working 9 to 5. I manage, and I pull through. Part of it's probably just me staying up too late too often. I'm catching myself falling into microsleeps at my desk now and then, which isn't good. I used to have those back at the warehouse, too.
The thing is, if money wasn't an issue, I know exactly what I'd be doing. Not lounging around, or watching Netflix, or playing computer games all the time. There would probably be some of that - but not heaps.
I have so many projects, that I'm super-passionate about. So many. A good number are ones that I feel that God has given to me to do. But, often, I can't do them - or can't do them to the level that I want to. Crux; Son, Brother, Bride; the Creative Space; sharing my stories and songs - and that's just the ones that I've felt God moving in specifically, not even mentioning things like board games, the musical I've written, the language I'm making....
But that's not how the world works. At least, not yet. They're just crazy dreams, right? They can never sustain you, never get you anywhere.... that's all you hear. One day, perhaps, the world might change. Might understand that if everyone is actually doing what they're passionate about, the world would be a much better place. That things could still get done, because there are people passionate about everything. We've got a lot of people in this world.
I don't know how I'm going to go in this world. I know I'm not really made for it, and that's kinda the point. But it's still....rather difficult to figure out what I should be doing, sometimes. You know that God can do amazing things, and can make anything happen. There are people that make a living out of doing some of those things that I mentioned. But not that many. And there's a difference between what God can do, and what he does do. And it's hard to know sometimes which way he's prodding.
And more and more, I know it's going to be tempting to make the stable choice. The responsible choice. Because more and more, I'm heading towards living a co-dependent life, rather than an independent one. Where other people actually rely on me, and I rely on them, to help get through the day-to-day. And if I run off and do something crazy - well, that's not particularly reliable, is it? But I also know that God does his best work in the uncomfortable places, on the edges of cliffs and at the bottom of trenches.
I don't really know where I'm going with all of this. But I needed to get it down. To help me get through another day of work.
It seems like the more I work, the less I want to. Perhaps this isn't a particularly radical thing, and is just "normal" for many people. I realise that a rather large percentage of people do jobs that they don't enjoy, or that they aren't passionate about, and that I should be grateful to even have a job, and all that sort of thing. And the jobs that I have actually are pretty great. I mean, I work at one of the most recognisable Christian companies in Sydney; and my other job is getting paid to do music. But it's still - work. (I do want to reinforce, I'm not complaining about my jobs specifically! Please don't hear that. Not the intention of this post.)
I'm not really built for work, I think. Part of it's just in terms of what I'm good at/not good at. For instance, I'm very much not good at anything that involves physical labour, or going fast. I'm not good at doing the same thing over and over again. I'm not good at selling things.
But it's also just - I can't handle full-time work. I just can't. I've been doing full-time (and a bit more) hours the past couple of weeks, and it's been killing me. I'm only 26, so you wouldn't think it would affect me that much, but it does.
It seems that if I don't have some space to create, to work on my own projects a bit, to just play around here and there - I kinda die a little. I already found this out on the extreme end back in 2013, but that was over a full year, with a lot of other junk happening as well. But I didn't think that would happen if I didn't have all that junk. Turns out it still does - but I'm able to tell early enough, so I can keep myself healthy. Work tires me out more than it probably does most people. Or at least, it does when I haven't gotten enough sleep, and I'm working 9 to 5. I manage, and I pull through. Part of it's probably just me staying up too late too often. I'm catching myself falling into microsleeps at my desk now and then, which isn't good. I used to have those back at the warehouse, too.
The thing is, if money wasn't an issue, I know exactly what I'd be doing. Not lounging around, or watching Netflix, or playing computer games all the time. There would probably be some of that - but not heaps.
I have so many projects, that I'm super-passionate about. So many. A good number are ones that I feel that God has given to me to do. But, often, I can't do them - or can't do them to the level that I want to. Crux; Son, Brother, Bride; the Creative Space; sharing my stories and songs - and that's just the ones that I've felt God moving in specifically, not even mentioning things like board games, the musical I've written, the language I'm making....
But that's not how the world works. At least, not yet. They're just crazy dreams, right? They can never sustain you, never get you anywhere.... that's all you hear. One day, perhaps, the world might change. Might understand that if everyone is actually doing what they're passionate about, the world would be a much better place. That things could still get done, because there are people passionate about everything. We've got a lot of people in this world.
I don't know how I'm going to go in this world. I know I'm not really made for it, and that's kinda the point. But it's still....rather difficult to figure out what I should be doing, sometimes. You know that God can do amazing things, and can make anything happen. There are people that make a living out of doing some of those things that I mentioned. But not that many. And there's a difference between what God can do, and what he does do. And it's hard to know sometimes which way he's prodding.
And more and more, I know it's going to be tempting to make the stable choice. The responsible choice. Because more and more, I'm heading towards living a co-dependent life, rather than an independent one. Where other people actually rely on me, and I rely on them, to help get through the day-to-day. And if I run off and do something crazy - well, that's not particularly reliable, is it? But I also know that God does his best work in the uncomfortable places, on the edges of cliffs and at the bottom of trenches.
I don't really know where I'm going with all of this. But I needed to get it down. To help me get through another day of work.
Tuesday, 20 November 2018
Gentlemen.
It's a bit late, but I needed to get this down. Been a while again. I actually have another one on my mind, so I might do that tomorrow - imagine that! Me doing consecutive posts! Insanity. I'm also at Beyond Festival (which you should totally come to) this weekend, so I may do a post or two on what happens there afterwards.
Yesterday, as you may or may not have known, was International Men's Day. I didn't know until I saw a post about it on my Facebook feed. Today, I heard that an old male friend of mine passed away last night. As in, he was actually both an old friend and an old male. And a good man.
We hear a lot about the negative men in our society these days. They get plastered over the news, slammed through the courts and criminal systems, and get talked about a lot online. But you don't hear much about good men - about gentlemen.
Now, I am not meaning gentlemen in the sense of, "Oh, I do say dear fellow, won't you join me in a spot of tea? Let's open the door for the madam, shall we?" I'm not meaning British and Victorian, or like a knight or something. The thing is, people often don't understand the meaning of the word gentle; or use it to mean something different these days. We tend to think of it as meaning not strong, or delicate, and very feminine. But that's not what I'm meaning here at all; and that's not what it means when you're reading about it in the Bible. For instance, when it's talking about gentleness being one of the fruits of the Spirit, or saying that the meek - the gentle - shall inherit the earth.
No. It's talking about strength under control. And that's not just referring to physical strength. It's also in reference to mental strength, emotional strength, spiritual strength. Each of these are very real things, that can be used as weapons just as much as physical strength can, if not used in a good way; if not kept under control. You probably know all too many examples of that. Men that shout and argue to get their way. Men that manipulate people emotionally, and then hurt them deeply. Men that dominate discussions with their intellect, and use it as an excuse to shut others out. Men that claim the moral high ground, because they've been to that fancy Bible college, or even because they have a position at a church.
These aren't gentle men. And they aren't what men are supposed to be like. Instead, these are examples of the brokenness of this world at work - and how sin has corrupted and tainted our perceptions of what men should be like. We think that this is normal, that men are supposed to be dominating and strong, that they should take charge and get their way. Sin has taken truth and twisted it to its own ends; because that is what sin does. It cannot construct something new. It just twists and taints what is already there. Science tells us that men are, on average, physically stronger. But this is not because they are meant to dominate over others. Rather, they are meant to use this strength to serve and protect those around them. To help, not to hurt. Strength under control; gentleness.
I have had the good fortune of knowing some gentlemen in my time. Some were strong physically, some in other ways; but each knew how and when to use that strength, rather than it controlling them. And through them, I hope that I have learned a little of how to be a gentleman too.
Men - stop letting yourselves be characterised by people's perceptions. Let's redefine manhood, redefine masculinity. Let's make it gentle. Let's make it amazing. Let's make it fantastic.
Yesterday, as you may or may not have known, was International Men's Day. I didn't know until I saw a post about it on my Facebook feed. Today, I heard that an old male friend of mine passed away last night. As in, he was actually both an old friend and an old male. And a good man.
We hear a lot about the negative men in our society these days. They get plastered over the news, slammed through the courts and criminal systems, and get talked about a lot online. But you don't hear much about good men - about gentlemen.
Now, I am not meaning gentlemen in the sense of, "Oh, I do say dear fellow, won't you join me in a spot of tea? Let's open the door for the madam, shall we?" I'm not meaning British and Victorian, or like a knight or something. The thing is, people often don't understand the meaning of the word gentle; or use it to mean something different these days. We tend to think of it as meaning not strong, or delicate, and very feminine. But that's not what I'm meaning here at all; and that's not what it means when you're reading about it in the Bible. For instance, when it's talking about gentleness being one of the fruits of the Spirit, or saying that the meek - the gentle - shall inherit the earth.
No. It's talking about strength under control. And that's not just referring to physical strength. It's also in reference to mental strength, emotional strength, spiritual strength. Each of these are very real things, that can be used as weapons just as much as physical strength can, if not used in a good way; if not kept under control. You probably know all too many examples of that. Men that shout and argue to get their way. Men that manipulate people emotionally, and then hurt them deeply. Men that dominate discussions with their intellect, and use it as an excuse to shut others out. Men that claim the moral high ground, because they've been to that fancy Bible college, or even because they have a position at a church.
These aren't gentle men. And they aren't what men are supposed to be like. Instead, these are examples of the brokenness of this world at work - and how sin has corrupted and tainted our perceptions of what men should be like. We think that this is normal, that men are supposed to be dominating and strong, that they should take charge and get their way. Sin has taken truth and twisted it to its own ends; because that is what sin does. It cannot construct something new. It just twists and taints what is already there. Science tells us that men are, on average, physically stronger. But this is not because they are meant to dominate over others. Rather, they are meant to use this strength to serve and protect those around them. To help, not to hurt. Strength under control; gentleness.
I have had the good fortune of knowing some gentlemen in my time. Some were strong physically, some in other ways; but each knew how and when to use that strength, rather than it controlling them. And through them, I hope that I have learned a little of how to be a gentleman too.
Men - stop letting yourselves be characterised by people's perceptions. Let's redefine manhood, redefine masculinity. Let's make it gentle. Let's make it amazing. Let's make it fantastic.
Wednesday, 3 October 2018
Stretched.
Hey folks. It's been quite a bit of time since my last post, so apologies for that. Life has been keeping me pretty darn busy - working two jobs, assistant directing and acting in one play while prepping to direct another, leading at youth group, Bible study, and time with Thalia. I haven't had time for much else, and even those things I often haven't been able to give the time or attention I'd like. I already pulled back from a couple of other things I was doing before - but I still feel stretched. It hasn't helped that money has been pretty tight for the last while. That's something that always tends to stress me out.
Don't get me wrong, I'm doing a lot of awesome, incredible things at the moment. I'm enjoying myself quite a bit! I'm getting the chance to use a lot of my gifts, and doing many things that I've been wanting to for a long time. And I'm still pinching myself about being in a relationship with somebody - and someone who is really amazing. Not perfect, nobody is - but rather incredible and beautiful nonetheless. I might be a bit biased, but I think that's okay ;)
But yeah. Even though pretty much all of what I'm doing is awesome - it's still a lot. And that's been draining me a bit sometimes. Don't really know what the solution is - and I know that things are going to get worse before they get better. But I'll get there! One way or another.
Something else that I think has stretched a bit over the last while, and which it might be good to talk about, has been my own ideas about a relationship. As many of you probably know, before this, I hadn't been in a relationship at any point. A few times here and there where I thought something might be happening, but no dice. Even so, I still built up plenty of ideas about what being in a relationship would be like; what I thought it might feel like, things I wanted to do or say when I got there, things I thought might happen, or what would be difficult, all this sort of thing. This won't be news to those that are in or have been in relationships - but a lot of that gets challenged, stretched, or even chucked out the window when you actually go into a relationship. Because this is a unique person, with a particular personality, needs, and desires. And that's going to mean that your relationship will look a little bit different from every other relationship that you see, any other relationship you've had, and certainly any ideas that you've had in your head about it.
I'm still learning. We're still learning - it's her first time as well! We make quite a few mistakes, but we're pretty honest with each other about those, and forgiving of each other. We're good at keeping each other in check when that needs to happen, or challenging each other when that needs to happen. Or taking care of each other when that needs to happen. Hugs are good :)
For all the stretching - life is pretty good at the moment. I'm on a rather incredible journey, and I haven't often had time to stop and talk about it over the past months, which I've missed being able to do. But I'm enjoying myself. Living life! It's a good thing. Hopefully it's not as long before you hear from me again. Until next time - keep being awesome.
Something else that I think has stretched a bit over the last while, and which it might be good to talk about, has been my own ideas about a relationship. As many of you probably know, before this, I hadn't been in a relationship at any point. A few times here and there where I thought something might be happening, but no dice. Even so, I still built up plenty of ideas about what being in a relationship would be like; what I thought it might feel like, things I wanted to do or say when I got there, things I thought might happen, or what would be difficult, all this sort of thing. This won't be news to those that are in or have been in relationships - but a lot of that gets challenged, stretched, or even chucked out the window when you actually go into a relationship. Because this is a unique person, with a particular personality, needs, and desires. And that's going to mean that your relationship will look a little bit different from every other relationship that you see, any other relationship you've had, and certainly any ideas that you've had in your head about it.
I'm still learning. We're still learning - it's her first time as well! We make quite a few mistakes, but we're pretty honest with each other about those, and forgiving of each other. We're good at keeping each other in check when that needs to happen, or challenging each other when that needs to happen. Or taking care of each other when that needs to happen. Hugs are good :)
For all the stretching - life is pretty good at the moment. I'm on a rather incredible journey, and I haven't often had time to stop and talk about it over the past months, which I've missed being able to do. But I'm enjoying myself. Living life! It's a good thing. Hopefully it's not as long before you hear from me again. Until next time - keep being awesome.
Wednesday, 6 June 2018
Lessons so far....
You may want to check out my last post before reading this one. Me and Thalia are now eight weeks in to our relationship - which is pretty crazy! There's rather a lot that we've been learning over that time about each other, ourselves, God, and love. Thought I'd try and share some of the more poignant ones....
You will start wanting to spend a lot more time with each other. Like, a lot. Pretty much all the time you have. "Free time"? What is this strange phrase? But yeah. After you get over that initial excitement - you're going to need to figure out a way to balance out the time you have with each other with the other commitments that you have. And sleep. That's important too. Do that.
For Christian couples - setting physical boundaries before you start playing around too much with physical touch is a very good idea. Being respectful to each other - and to God - should be important for each of you. So honour that.
All the hugs. All the hugs. Okay, maybe not all of you have the love language of physical touch, or aren't as huggy. You're just missing out. ;)
Be prepared to have most of your pre-conceived ideas changed fairly quickly. Then go back to them later, and figure out why they were important to you. Because there's probably a reason.
First times for most things are going to be at least a little bit awkward. And that's totally okay.
Mutual trust is built by honest sharing, of things that are difficult to share. By not having secrets from each other. And that takes time, and can be really challenging. But it's also incredibly rewarding.
"I love you" won't ever feel like enough.
Family matters. Where you can, build bridges, make connections, find common ground. But still be yourself.
Talk about the important things. But sometimes, it's okay to just be together silently for a time, enjoying that feeling of being together.
When you're out in public, people are going to notice that you're together. That's okay. People do that.
You're going to want to bring each other along to pretty much everything, but that won't always be appropriate. Figure out ways of doing that without feeling like you're letting each other down - because you're not. Sometimes circumstances are like that.
You won't ever be enough for each other in and of yourselves. And you can't solve all of each other's problems. But that doesn't mean you can't help. And you'll certainly want to!
Love is rather crazy sometimes. Okay, most of the time.
That's....probably enough for now. I'm sure there are many that I've missed, and many that I could add in a few weeks' time. But hopefully that is helpful, or interesting, or amusing, or all three. Until next time :)
You will start wanting to spend a lot more time with each other. Like, a lot. Pretty much all the time you have. "Free time"? What is this strange phrase? But yeah. After you get over that initial excitement - you're going to need to figure out a way to balance out the time you have with each other with the other commitments that you have. And sleep. That's important too. Do that.
For Christian couples - setting physical boundaries before you start playing around too much with physical touch is a very good idea. Being respectful to each other - and to God - should be important for each of you. So honour that.
All the hugs. All the hugs. Okay, maybe not all of you have the love language of physical touch, or aren't as huggy. You're just missing out. ;)
Be prepared to have most of your pre-conceived ideas changed fairly quickly. Then go back to them later, and figure out why they were important to you. Because there's probably a reason.
First times for most things are going to be at least a little bit awkward. And that's totally okay.
Mutual trust is built by honest sharing, of things that are difficult to share. By not having secrets from each other. And that takes time, and can be really challenging. But it's also incredibly rewarding.
"I love you" won't ever feel like enough.
Family matters. Where you can, build bridges, make connections, find common ground. But still be yourself.
Talk about the important things. But sometimes, it's okay to just be together silently for a time, enjoying that feeling of being together.
When you're out in public, people are going to notice that you're together. That's okay. People do that.
You're going to want to bring each other along to pretty much everything, but that won't always be appropriate. Figure out ways of doing that without feeling like you're letting each other down - because you're not. Sometimes circumstances are like that.
You won't ever be enough for each other in and of yourselves. And you can't solve all of each other's problems. But that doesn't mean you can't help. And you'll certainly want to!
Love is rather crazy sometimes. Okay, most of the time.
That's....probably enough for now. I'm sure there are many that I've missed, and many that I could add in a few weeks' time. But hopefully that is helpful, or interesting, or amusing, or all three. Until next time :)
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