Exposing the Well.

Each of us have sin and pain in our lives - often quite a few. But typically, there will be a couple that we really don't want to tell people about. We dread their reaction. Rejection. Disgust. Anger. All of the above.

And yet; we hear about the healing power of forgiveness. Of the power of confession; telling your story, warts and all, to someone else. Exposing yourself, in all that you are. And I've talked a bit about that before, in a post I did earlier this year. Or not, actually, now that I check. OK. Going to need to do a post on that then, maybe. Essentially, though, I've been introduced to that a bit this year.

So we decide that we want to share. But what do we share?

Well, what I've realised is this. There's pretty much three different levels you can go to.
1) Telling them that you have a well. "I've struggled with sadness at points in my life."
2) Telling them that your well is really actually quite deep. "I've been affected really badly for most of my life because of my depression."
3) Showing them exactly how deep your well goes. "I'm taking drugs to try and cope, and there are times that I've thought of committing suicide."
Now, that might not be a great example. I don't have any experience with that level of depression myself, so it was a bit hard to think of exactly where to go with that one.

But the thing is, you can go to that first level. You can even go to that second level. And you'll feel like a burden is lifted; particularly if the person/people you were telling responded in an affirming and forgiving manner.
But the devil is still going to hold that third level over you. He's going to whisper in your ear, saying that no-one could love you if they knew that. They'd think it was disgusting. They'd hate you. Couldn't even look at you.

And so you're back at the same place; with a deep, dark secret that you don't want anyone to know. And that's no way to live life.

Now, at the same time, in many cases, there are things that you can't tell just anybody. Sometimes because of the nature of the things, sometimes because of the nature of the people, sometimes through a combination; there are people who don't have the level of understanding needed for this sort of confession. But you can't let that stop you; you can't let that hinder you. If you ask God to give you an opportunity to talk about this, he will. Trust him.