Intersectionality.

You might have heard this word, "intersectionality", before. It's used to talk about people who live in the overlap of multiple areas of disadvantage, or discrimination. It can be talking about disability, race, sexuality, gender, wealth, and a number of other things.

I grew up being multiply privileged. White, middle-class, Christian, fairly able-bodied, and seemingly male and heterosexual. To the outside world, I lived in the overlap of most of the groups that were oppressing everyone else.

Over time, though, other things began to bubble up. Autism. Depression. Being queer. Non-binary. Polyamorous. Omniromantic pansexual. And suddenly, I was living in the intersection of multiple areas that were discriminated against - while never having really experienced that myself.

And to the outside world, to the random passer-by or person on the train, I still come off as white, male, cisgender, straight. Which is both sad and weird, in a way. 

Weird because it's interesting how things are perceived on the outside, and how little things can change that. If I start wearing a skirt or a dress out, for instance (I've done the former a few times so far, still working to find ones I like), then suddenly that changes. I come across as queer. Or maybe I wear something with a pride flag on it, and again, the mirage is broken.

Sad because this incorrect image of me is the type that tends to inspire fear and caution from many, and not without good reason. White folks and men have plenty to answer for, particularly in how they've treated folks that aren't white or men. But it feels sad that seeing me can inspire that response in people, when I know that's not me.

At the same time, of course, I can't do much about people's perceptions. People will perceive what they will. And I don't have the time or energy to correct all of them if they are off a bit. But I can work towards - and I suppose I am working towards - having a gender expression that reflects my identity. It takes time. 

It does feel strange, though, living now in the middle of multiple areas of disadvantage, but not really experiencing much of that (insofar, at least). To be fair, I'm very new to this. So there's plenty of time and room for things to get worse. But I think I was bracing for things to be suddenly much harder than they have been 😅 I think there will be ample opportunity for these things to show up in time, though.

In saying all this, though, I still live in the intersection of many areas of privilege. I'm still white. I'm young. I live in a first-world country. I have a house that I live in. I speak English, and well. I've had a tertiary education. I'm part of a majority religion (though I'm a minority within that). Allosexual (rather than asexual). I fall somewhat within the lines of conventional attractiveness. I don't live with chronic pain or physical health conditions. I live in or near a city. I have many privileges, and many biases, that I need to be aware of in my life, and in how I interact with the people around me. Things that are easy and simple for me are not so easy or simple for many, many others. I'd really encourage you to take a look at the diagram above by Intertwine to examine the areas of privilege that you fall within, to perhaps be more aware of those. We can so easily become blind to the background noise of our lives - don't be. It's all important.