Creating a New Number System!

High nerd alert for this post! I haven't done something along these lines for a while. But we're going to be talking conlangs (constructed languages), and, even more specifically within that, number systems for those conlangs.

Quite a while back, I mentioned a language that I was starting to make, Aiyæthron. At some point a bit more recently, I came up with a number system for it. And I don't just mean different words for our numbers, but a somewhat different way of doing numbers.

For starters, this language works in base-8, not base-10. I did that for a few reasons - partly just because I like the idea of base-8 (it divides by two much more nicely), but it also means that 7 is the last digit, and so it does the cool stuff 9 does in our base; and for the people speaking this language (the Aiyædwur), 7 is somewhat of a significant religious number.
If you're not familiar how bases work, it basically (haha) means how many digits you use. We're in base-10, so we use 0123456789. In base-8, though, you only use 01234567. Which means that after 7, you skip straight to 10. After 17, you go to 20. After 77, you have 100. It takes a little bit of getting used to (particularly if you try doing any maths), but hopefully you get the idea.

The next thing different is when you do new words. In English, we have a new word when we get to a hundred, then a thousand, and then every time you multiply by a thousand - which works out to being every comma separator. In Aiyæthron, however, you only have a new word when you can't describe it with the words you already have, without repeating a word (you can't say hundred hundred). In effect, this means that each new word is the square of the previous - so you get up to words for really big numbers quite quickly (as you'll see below).

Then, they do a comma separator after every hundred (two zeroes) rather than every thousand (three zeroes). And how numbers are written out is a little different - it's similar to how it's done in Indonesian, in an additive way. So 23 would be "two tens three". 17 would be "ten seven". So you don't need to know that many numbers to be able to say quite large numbers.

And that's it. That's the only things that separate it from our normal number system - apart from the language itself, of course! Also, a note that I haven't figured out a text/script for this language yet, so it won't be using our English letters and numbers. That's just what I'm using for now so that others can see how it's pronounced etc.

Cah -> One [number]
Dehn -> Two [number]
Fih -> Three
Hohn -> Four
Juh -> Five
Lahn -> Six
Neh -> Seven
Chÿ -> Ten (for us, eight)
Zuht -> Zero

Gÿ -> One hundred [Chÿ x Chÿ, or 64 in base-10] 100
Rÿ ->Ten thousand (our next word would be a thousand) [Gÿ x Gÿ, or 4,096 in base-10] 100,00
Sÿ -> Hundred million (our next word is a million) [Rÿ x Rÿ, or 16,777,216 in base-10] 100,00,00,00
Tÿ -> Ten quadrillion (then billion) [Sÿ x Sÿ, or 281,474,976,710,656 in base-10] 100,00,00,00,00,00,00,00
Thÿ -> Hundred nonillion (and then trillion) [Tÿ x Tÿ, or 79,228,162,514,264,337,593,543,950,336 in base-10] 100,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00

Zhe- -> turns number into ordinal number, i.e. first, second, third, fourth, etc. [e.g. Zhecah, zhedehn, zhefih, zhehohn, zhejuh, zhelahn, zheneh, zhechÿ, etc.]

Regrets....

I saw a post on LinkedIn the other day that got me thinking. The post (from memory) showed the results from asking a bunch of people on their deathbeds what they regretted in their life, and listed the top five. And it made me wonder - if I died today, or tomorrow, what regrets would I have looking back on my life? Not the why-did-I-do-that-stupid-thing regrets, though they can pop up now and then. More the, why-didn't-I-do-this-good-thing sort of regrets. The sort of things that I haven't done - but could still do. That could shape what I do in the future. And I think I've got a few that I can talk about.

First, a simple one. I would regret that I hadn't travelled much - seen much of the world, experienced different cultures, met different people. The internet is a great way to do bits of that, and to connect with people from anywhere and everywhere - but it's very different to being on the streets of another country.

I've travelled overseas twice so far in my life; once to Thailand, and the other time to India. Each was for a couple of weeks, and both were mission trips of a sort. Thailand was with school, back in 2008, and mostly around Chiang Mai (main city in north Thailand); India was in 2016 with a band that I was part of at the time, around New Delhi and Mumbai. So I guess another one will be due in 2024? The closest I've had to an overseas holiday was my honeymoon, which was Tasmania early this year (and was awesome! Tasmania is beautiful). But yeah, going overseas is difficult and expensive when you live in Australia. And then the pandemic happened 😅So yeah, overseas travel isn't happening any time soon. Maybe in another few months we might maybe get to see New Zealand? And that's about it. So, travel within Australia, then! And there's still plenty just in Australia that I haven't seen. There's still plenty just within New South Wales that I haven't seen. Australia is massive, folks. I mean, a big part of it is pretty much just empty desert - but even so, still big. I haven't gotten to the Northern Territory or South Australia at all yet, so that would be good at some point. Uluru! Need to see Uluru. Outside of Australia, though, I'd love to go to NZ, the UK (like, all of it, not just England), most of the Mediterranean too. Part of me would also love to do Everest, but it is crazy dangerous and crazy expensive. So...maybe just base camp? But it feels weird going that far and only going to base camp, too.

Another simple one would be not having deeper relationships with people. I have a lot of awesome, amazing people in my life. And I chat to them online now and then, or interact with them on social media. But it would be rather awesome to interact with them in real life a bit more, to spend more time with people. Again, that has some restrictions in the middle of a pandemic - but thankfully, there's much less of that here now than there used to be.

I think another regret would just be the amount of stuff that's still just in my head and not out anywhere else. Because if I die, then obviously it dies with me - we don't have brain hard drives yet. And even if we did, who on earth would sort through all of that? But yeah - there are just so many songs, stories, thoughts and ideas rumbling around in here that haven't had their time to shine yet. And it's hard knowing how to get them out there - for a start, I only have so much time and energy in the day, and most of the stuff in my head doesn't get me money to be able to pay bills or get food. It's also quite easy for stuff to just get lost on the internet, and not be heard amongst everything else that's out there. The internet is a content machine. And if I'm constantly pushing out stuff, it can feel like people just stop listening and caring after a while as well, because it's just too much. I guess it depends on the quality of what you're making, really, though.

But that's something I struggle with, when I think about it - just the idea of dying with so many things unsaid or unshared, when I feel like so much of what's in my head is meant for other people just as much (and sometimes more) than it is for me.

Perhaps my biggest one, though, would be not having lived life to the full. I feel like there's so much time for me that has just been wasted, doing next to nothing, or nothing important. And I know, "nothing's wasted", "everything teaches us something", "God uses it all later", and I believe all of that in one sense. But in another sense - there's been a lot of times when I know I could be doing something better with that time. And I'm not just talking a few minutes or hours here and there. Sometimes it feels like I've had weeks, or months, even years, when I'm just wandering around aimlessly and really not living. And that's hard.

I think part of the reason for that has been mental health, to be sure. It's difficult to "live life to the full" when things like depression, or anxiety, or whatever else, keep crippling you. But I think part of it is also just the way our world is set up at the moment. Work is an inevitable part of life - and we can argue about whether or not that's a good thing, but it is challenging when what you enjoy doing doesn't really line up with work that you can do. And sure, plenty of people don't enjoy their work, and they manage, you say - but I guess I have a higher bar than "getting by". And I think it's not unreasonable that people should be able to enjoy their work, considering how much of their time it takes up. But I won't rant about that here, because I rant about it all too often.

Those are the main ones that I can think of, off the top of my head. Maybe I'm missing a couple, I'm not sure. And I'm not sure how much this is going to change what I do going forward, or how much it can change things - much of this is hamstrung by pandemic and mental health and the like. But it's useful to at least recognise it, I think, and work through it.

But what about you? What would your regrets be - and how could you use that to change what you do going forward?

The Importance Of Truth

There are many different ideals that people can have and hold. I've talked about some over the years on this blog, and about their importance to me. Today, I want to talk about the importance, and significance, of truth.

But first, I want to define the sort of truth that I'm talking about. Perhaps the simplest way to think about it is "absolute truth", rather than "relative truth". I'm not talking here about things that you might consider true for you, or that I might consider true for me. Though these are important concepts in their own right that can shape our perception of reality and experience, these aren't what I'm wanting to talk about.
No, I'm wanting to talk about absolute truth.

Part of the trick, though, with absolute truth, is that you can't ever really know when you've arrived at it. How do you know that something is absolutely true? Some things might be self-evident (water being wet, and fire being hot), but many things are not. Everything can be questioned, and often is questioned by somebody.
But just because absolute truth is hard (or sometimes impossible) to find, doesn't mean that we can't head towards it, or have it as a goal.

Speaking truth is where we start, and this is radical in itself. We live in a world where white lies and deception are often the norm. Social media, of course (as well as online presence in general), is a perfect example of this. We craft and shape what people can see according to what we want people to think. Now, of course, there's an element to this that is important, in terms of safety - we don't want everyone knowing where we live, and neither do we want brief acquaintances knowing intimate details of our lives, more often than not. And that's okay - that's just being wise about who you share aspects of your life with. But people will often go a level beyond that, crafting a persona online that's very different to who they actually are.
And so when we speak the truth - we are cutting through all of this. We are displaying honesty, integrity, realness - and these are things that are desperately needed in our world. People are hungry for it, as is evidenced by the continuing trend in that direction. We're seeing more and more celebrities opening up about "life behind the curtain", giving glimpses at what reality is like, because people are realising the power of honesty. They're realising the power of truth.

But this is only the start. It's not enough for us to only speak truth ourselves. We also need to encourage it elsewhere - and perhaps more so, call out falsehood and deception.
People are quick to cry "fake news" these days, and point fingers, and click on bait. But we're seeing less real sources, and more handwaving - or presenting sources as credible that often aren't. And scams and shams are almost part and parcel of our online world these days. Some people will know how to recognise and avoid these - but many don't. People will listen to what others are saying simply because it sounds nice, or because it's coming from someone in a position of authority, or because it's speaking to their fears or desires. And they get taken advantage of, much too often, and much too easily.
A great thing to keep in mind here are the logical fallacies, and the cognitive biases. Those two sites aren't an exhaustive list, but they're a good place to start. Unfortunately, our psychology is often working against us in these sorts of things. So it's important that we are calling out what we are able to recognise as deception and falsehood, and champion truth.

Of course, there's a big difference between what is true, and what is good. Something can be true and bad, or good and false. Too easy examples are Hitler and unicorns. But often, trying to hide from a bad truth can make its impact worse - it can seem as though you're denying its badness, or denying its reality, rather than just trying to escape that reality. We see that today with Holocaust deniers, for instance, but there are plenty of other places you can see it. Denying that we're sick, or struggling with mental/physical health, can stop us from getting help/treatment that we often need, for instance.
On the flip side, lies are often at their most potent when they are mostly true, or have a truth within them. A very, very simple example of this is the number of products that advertise as having "no sugar" - but then don't really tell you much about what other sweeteners they put in instead. And so figuring out what is true, and what is not, is often extremely difficult.

But I think that it's a goal worth fighting for. It's why I try to fight against the biases that I've grown up with or learned over time, and work to make sure minorities are heard more clearly so that they can be understood and not misjudged. It's why I engage in discussion and debate. It's why I constantly evolve my ideas about who I am, what God is like, what the Bible is saying. Because my understanding of the truth develops and grows. I don't pretend to ever know the complete, or absolute truth, fully - I don't think anyone can - but I hope that I keep heading in the right direction. And I hope that you do too.

An Update.

Well, the site looks a little bit different! I haven't updated it since back in - I think 2012 or 2013. And it probably shows. So the look is now a bit different, and I've updated a few of the pages as well. The general layout is still the same, though, I'm fairly sure.

I've updated it for a couple of reasons. Firstly - it's just been long enough, it needed a change!
But I think the big reason was that the look of the blog before didn't reflect where I was at, and how I was going with life.

The previous update on the blog I made when I was having one of the best years of my life, feeling absolutely amazing and on top of the world, and ready to launch into a new chapter of living. I renamed the blog "New Life" in Greek (because nerdy Christian, woo), put light colours and pretty birds around the place.

Since then, quite a bit has changed. I've figured out that I'm struggling with depression. I've been in and out of a number of jobs, and had some fairly decent chunks of being basically unemployed. And now, we're in the middle of a pandemic (though hopefully here in Australia we're climbing out of it for the most part), and my moods are all over the place. I'm attempting to figure out where the heck I'm heading (clue: still have no idea), and what on earth I actually want life to look like. Oh, and I'm married as well, which is awesome, but is also very different to living for 27 years before that and being almost always single and looking for someone to suddenly being in a committed relationship. So that's something I'm still very much figuring out too.

I also don't post nearly as much as I used to (or as much as I'd like, if I'm honest). I've usually got a billion ideas going in my head about things I could write, but who's going to read my bits and pieces? Probably a few folks here and there I guess maybe. We'll see. But maybe after I've updated it and it looks nicer - and more like where I'm at - I'll feel more up to writing a bit more frequently and sharing it to places.

So yes. Let me know what you think of the new look! I know it's quite different. I have intentionally also gone with a dark look, because I appreciate websites that have a dark background when I'm searching the web at night, for my eyes that are a bit sensitive to the brighter and whiter light at night.

Ain't Nothin' But Heartache....

Over the last week or so, I've played through the three chapters of Tell Me Why - the latest offering from DONTNOD, that also gave us Remember Me, Vampyr (which I'm yet to try) and the Life Is Strange franchise, which is what this feels the most similar to. And I think it's one of the most intense - and beautiful - games I've played. 

For fans of Life Is Strange, this will feel very familiar. Your gameplay is characterised by choices, which will shape your interactions with the people around you. There's a fairly small cast of characters - maybe just over a dozen - but you get to know each of them quite well over the three episodes, and you can feel the impact that the story and these events are having on these people. But the chief interplay that you'll have is between the two main characters - twins. You play both of the twins at various points in the story, and each has a different feel. But some of the main decisions that you will have are around drawing the twins closer together, or driving them further apart.

In terms of the story - it's beautifully done. There's a constant undercurrent of duality, this double nature to things. Of course, part of that is because you have twins. But then you keep flipping between the events of now and the memories of their childhood; the truth and the lies; the real and the imagined. One of the things that's played with is how much we can trust memory - or not trust it, as the case may be.

We start off with Tyler and Alyson, each starting in different places, meeting each other again for the first time since they were kids. Tyler has been in juvenile detention for a long time, and eventually became a mentor for younger kids there. They're going back to the old house they used to live in when they were kids, brought up by a single mother, that's empty now - to try and fix it up and sell it. 

But the house holds many memories - particularly from the time when they were separated, after the death of their mother, after she seemed to turn a gun on Tyler because he cut his hair short and was transitioning to male. Tyler was accused with killing her, even though they claimed it was in self-defense, there wasn't enough evidence - and now, it seems like things they thought were true are being called into question, shaken and stirred. And they need to find out what is real and true, and see what holds together at the other end.

As you can perhaps tell from the story points - there's a lot of very heavy material here. The game talks about death and violence, bullying and hate, prejudice, and so many family issues. It also dives into what being transgender looks like and means, and the struggles that involves - by putting you right in those shoes. The Life Is Strange games had a very similar line - first by putting you in the shoes of a teenage girl (potentially lesbian), then a Mexican boy (potentially gay), and now, a transgender man. You'll have to decide for yourself what you get out of that - but I continue to find games a powerful way to walk in somebody else's shoes for a while.

But, much as that's a key issue for the character of Tyler, that's not what this game is about. It's about family, and the dysfunction of that, and the mess of that, and the beauty of that. It's about the family that you're born with - but also the family that you choose. And both can be powerful in their own way.

And it's about truth, and secrets. And the pain that each can bring - as well as peace. Ultimately, though, only truth brings real release, as you will discover. 

It's an incredible game, and along with Life Is Strange, one of the better story experiences I've played through. I particularly love the many little puzzles scattered throughout - especially in the last chapter. And the music plays beautifully into the themes here.

 It is very intense, though, emotionally, and can be scary at times. So be aware of that before you play, and have some positive reinforcement ready if you need it.

But I recommend this game extremely highly. In terms of age - I think it should be fine for teens and above, but as always, you know your kids. Give it a try yourself first so that you know what they'll be working through, and so that you can discuss things with them as they come up. There's going to be plenty.

Rising.

I've been out of it for a while. And when I say a while - probably months. Maybe even the better part of a couple of years. It's difficult to be able to measure these sorts of things. But, finally - and strangely - I think I might be pulling out of it. And I wanted to talk about that for a moment.

I haven't been doing well for a fair amount of time. Some people might have seen bits of that, some people probably not much - I can be good at masking it sometimes. I've grown up masking, so it's been my normal. The hard part these days is actively choosing not to mask, and figuring out what I've actually got underneath. It's tricky as well, because I'm usually better when I'm around people - and at my worst when I'm by myself. So whatever people see is usually me at my best, or at the least better than I'm actually doing. So it's easy to think I'm doing okay when I haven't been.

Part of that "not doing great" has been depression, I think. But that's hard to define a lot of the time, and can get a bit woolly for me to be able to nail down properly and get a look at. So I tend to try and reframe it, even though that's part of the picture.

It's only more recently that I've realised a big part of it has been about energy. And about relationships.

Because this relationship with Thalia has been my first time in a relationship, I didn't have any prior experience to draw on, or know what it would be like. And I think one of the biggest things that I didn't realise going in - and am really only coming to terms with more recently - is the amount of energy and time it takes.

Before I was in a relationship, I would have X amount of energy and time, let's say. Now, a solid chunk (probably the largest chunk) would get taken up by work. But then I'd have a fair bit still left over, most of the time. And so I'd be able to put that towards different things - like creative projects, music, theatre, catching up with friends, early attempts at romance, chores and the like, gaming - kinda as I liked, though circumstances would pull things this way or that.

But when you're in a relationship, suddenly, you're pouring most of that spare time and energy into the relationship. Even before we were married, we would see each other most days, and spend most of our spare time together. And that takes time and energy away from those other things. Now, that didn't really matter too much to me at first, because I was rather swept up by this amazing beautiful woman. (I still am in many ways, don't worry!) But after a time, the honeymoon period wears off, and life catches back up to you. You still find joy and fulfilment in the relationship, but if you try and find everything you want within that relationship, you'll wear both of you and the relationship out very quickly. No person can meet that expectation.

For me, I get a lot of my energy from people, and from creativity and projects I'm working on. Catching up with people, playing on the piano, working together with a group on something, being involved in a play, going for a tea with a friend - these were the sort of things that filled my bucket. But most of my energy and time were being taken up by my work and my relationship - and everything takes a little bit of energy. I was quickly finding that the things that gave me energy, I often didn't have the energy to do.

And so I was in a downward spiral, feeling worn out all the time, drained dry like a husk. There were days where I would wake up in the morning and hate the thought that I had to get through another day. Where I felt I had very little to look forward to in the day - or even in life, in some ways. Thalia was really the only thing tethering me to sanity and life, in many ways, and that wasn't really fair on her. But it's where I was at.

So, what changed? Well, on Thursday, I played the piano again. I have an old upright piano at our place that I got for free - I only had to pay to have it moved. It's probably a little out of tune, and there's a couple of dud notes, but I still love having an actual piano rather than just a keyboard to play at home.

For quite some time, though, stuff has been building up on top of it, and I don't know when the last time was that I played it. I've played music - I've got a guitar at home, and I get that out every now and then. That's been helpful. And I play the keyboard each week for church. But playing a piano just feels different - I can't quite explain it.

Anyway, I just felt a compulsion to have a go at the piano that day. I moved the stuff on the lid, opened it up, sat down.....and played. And it just felt amazing.

It felt like I'd been a fish out of water for so long, and I was suddenly swimming again. I was doing what felt natural, and right, and good. I was doing what I was made to do. I was breathing again. I had hope again, joy again, after so long with clouds in front of my eyes I was seeing light again. That's what it felt like.

And I had so much energy! So much energy. I ended up streaming (I've been trying to stream me playing music for about 20-25 minutes or so most days for the past couple of weeks or so), and you can see the energy and excitement I had. I felt like a kid again, making a new discovery. Opening up an old treasure chest. I was remembering part of me that hadn't surfaced in a long time.

It seems so inconsequential, on the one hand. I just played the piano. Nothing about my circumstances changed - I didn't change jobs, I didn't move out, I didn't suddenly find an extra magical 12 hours in the day. But it's strange how simple things can sometimes make incredible connections in our brains, particularly when we invest so much of ourselves in them. It's hard to quantify how much time, energy and love I've put into the piano. Not as much as many - but a lot. Weeks, months, and years of my life. And so coming back to that - it awakened something in me, I guess. It's hard to define it, and hard to understand it. I just know where I am now, and where I was at before.

At the same time, I also know that change is much more often temporary than permanent. I'm not expecting this to magically solve all my problems. But I'm hoping that perhaps, if I make playing the piano a more regular part of my week - it might head me in a more positive direction. I'll keep streaming it out when I do. And you're very welcome to join me.

I don't know what the future holds, or where my path is going. But I don't see music leaving any time soon. Or relationship.

PS: If you haven't figured out, I still love my wife very much! Please don't get the wrong idea from this post. I just need to have a healthier balance of things in my life.

Life Revisited - a different kind of Strange

Not too long ago, I did a review of Life Is Strange, accompanied by my thoughts on Life Is Strange: Before The Storm. I'd recommend you read that first before this post, because I'll be referring back to my thoughts there a couple of times.

After my experience with the previous two games, I knew that I'd have to try Life Is Strange 2. From what I saw in advance, it looked to be quite a different storyline, but with some similar ideas - a person with powers (though not the same powers!). Spoilers will probably be coming up here, so be warned!

First, a rundown of what the game is. Life Is Strange 2 is a story-driven RPG, told mostly from the perspective of two young brothers, Sean and Daniel Diaz, and particularly the older brother. It's broken into five distinct episodes, each a mini-story in their own right (much more so, I'd say, than the original two - which can be a positive or a negative), in which you'll journey to many different places, and meet many different people. All the while, though, you're on the run from the police, because of an accident involving your father and a policeman that you've been blamed for - and so you're trying to get to Mexico and Puerto Lobos, your father's hometown. You have to look after your brother, help shape and guide his decisions and who he will become - and even more so as you discover that he has the power of telekinesis; moving objects with his mind. Similarly to the two previous games in the series, you'll be presented with many different choices - some a clear dichotomy, whereas others will be more nuanced. But your choices will have a direct affect on the story, and also on your brother. If you start stealing things to get food or money - then perhaps he will as well. Uphold what is right and true - and he'll be more likely to do the same.

On the technical side of things, there are many familiar notes here for Life Is Strange players - the way that you make choices and interact with the world is very similar to what is was in previous games, as is the inventory (though there's some nice art and commentary there that's done well). New for this time round is the drawing mechanic, as Sean is a budding artist/sketcher. In each episode, usually a couple of times, you'll have the opportunity to sit down and sketch the scene before you. It's a fairly simple mechanic, and you'll have the option to keep either a lower-quality version or go over it again for a more detailed one (and occasionally add extra things to the sketch afterwards) - but it's a nice break from the drama of the story. You also have a few collectibles to try and find in each episode, which you can hang on your backpack as you're walking around.
The art is again, amazing. Contrasting to the previous games, this game has you constantly going to different places, never really in the same spot twice - so you really experience a lot of different environments, and some really beautiful ones. I particularly enjoyed the way the canyons were portrayed in the final episode. Sean again keeps a journal, but it's more of a sketchbook with some brief notes here and there - you also have an inventory, as does Daniel (assuming he's with you), and various maps through the game.
The music is less directly used than in the previous games, but still really nice, and matching well with the themes and feel as you go. The ending song of each episode, again, will always shake you a bit.
This time, I didn't encounter any real technical issues, which was nice! I had a couple of times when things in-game were colliding in ways they probably shouldn't have, but it was quite minor and didn't affect gameplay at all.

Again, though, the story is king here. And again, it pulls you in quickly. I think I might have been pulled in more deeply to the original games, but they were quite different in the notes they were hitting. (Spoilers now abounding from hereon!)
Here, you have a death almost straight away in the game - your father. He's shot by a police officer, in what should have been a minor altercation, but ended up going badly because of racism (your father is Mexican), and this results in Daniel basically exploding with his power and knocking everyone out. When you wake up, you don't understand what's happened, but quickly run off with Daniel in panic.
The first episode quickly gives you both amazing and terrible experiences with other people, regardless of the choices that you make. (Heads up - you're going to be at the butt-end of a lot of racism this game. This game coming out around a similar time as Trump was coming into power is no accident - there are certainly a few direct references to that, as well as implicit ones.) You start off not really having any idea of what you're doing, with almost no supplies (keep in mind, Sean is 16, and Daniel is 9), just making it up as you go - but, after one very bad experience with one group of people, you're then rescued by another guy that's very generous and helps you out. You end the episode by finding out that Daniel has powers.
Episode two is all about training Daniel. You start off trying to build up his powers, practicing with him, having found this cabin in the woods that you're living in - but he gets sick, and so you start heading towards civilisation. Specifically, to your grandparents - that is, your mum's parents. Up until this point, we've had very little idea of who the mum (Karen) is; just that she left quite a while back, and that she's not exactly a welcome topic of conversation. The grandparents take them in hesitantly, but with care. But, they can't go anywhere. Then, of course, Daniel makes friends with the kid next door (who is also into superheroes), they happen to travel to the Christmas market, and get spotted there, and have to run off again.
They hop on a train, and a bit of time passes before the beginning of the third episode - apparently, they bump into a couple of people (good ones) that they met at the Christmas market, who are kinda travelling hippies (not meant as a derogatory, just helps people get an idea of what I'm talking about). They hook up with them, and all end up camping out in a forest and employed at a marijuana farm (illegal - in this state, anyway). Yes, even the nine-year-old. (Questionable ethics/morality, agreed - but then, I've never been on the run from the police with a nine-year-old brother.) They stick it out for a while, with the idea that they'll get enough money to help them get to Mexico. So you start up the episode in the middle of all that. On the side, you can also become romantically involved with either Cassidy, a guitarist/singer in the group, or Finn, the ringleader (or troublemaker). But, of course, things happen - Daniel sneaks in to the owner's house, the owner (Merrill) gets angry and says no pay for them fortnight, and Daniel will get punished. Of course, that results in the muscle getting knocked on the head by Daniel's powers (which, by the way, have grown to absurd levels at this point, and he's getting quite independent), and some of the team discovering Daniel's secret. This results in Finn suggesting a heist, where they steal money from Merrill, using Daniel's abilities to get in. Regardless of what you choose, this will happen (Finn and Daniel are thick as thieves), and they will again be confronted by Merrill, resulting in an altercation, and Daniel doing another explosion and knocking everyone out - this time, running off by himself.
In between the third and fourth episode, the police arrive, and you're taken to the hospital - one of your eyes isn't doing so well. You do get a neat eye patch later, though! Max would be jealous. There, you're questioned frequently by an FBI agent, who is also trying to find Daniel - with no luck. In the fourth episode, the night before you're released from hospital, you figure out where Daniel is (with one of the guys from the farm), and break out from the hospital, stealing a car (the place they are is pretty far away). You drive for quite a ways, but you have no money and the fuel runs out (though not before encountering more fun racists). You start walking there, though do have the opportunity to get a lift. The place that Daniel's at is a church, where it turns out the preacher, Lisbeth, has taken Daniel to be a sign from God and an angel, and is basically using him to build her own cult. Eventually, with help from your friend from before Jacob, and also your mother Karen (who shows up out of nowhere - you can react to her as you decide), you manage to get Daniel out, but the church burns down in the process. You wish Jacob well, and you and Daniel take off with Karen.
Apparently, Karen lives in the desert. As you do. There's a small community there, which is pretty independent, that she's a part of. You spend some good time with her (or at least, I did - I'm not sure how different it is depending on how you reacted to her in the previous episode), but you did burn down a church - the police are hot on your tail. The community sends you off well, and you get to the border wall - where you're promptly stopped by local racists who make it their job to stop immigrants. Thankfully, before they get too crazy, they're stopped by actual border police (who are still police, so they're angry at you, but thankfully not racist this time). You're taken to the police station and separated from Daniel, who's in the infirmary. You talk to another Mexican couple who are on their third time attempting to get into America - the wife is pregnant. They try and discourage you from going to Mexico. You're then interrogated by the police, but not for too long before Daniel breaks in and helps you escape. When you get to the border again, though, there's a line of police cars and police with guns aimed at you - and you have to make the final choice. Apparently there's four different ways it can end, depending on some choices you've made along the way. But I'll go into that a bit more later.

Phew. That took a while! I didn't mean to do a blow-by-blow, but the narrative of this one is a bit different to the original - while there is an overarching narrative (the boys running away), it's much more episodic in nature, and doesn't really have a Big Bad as such, other than perhaps the police themselves (and even then not really). Again, like the previous two games, it deals with a lot of serious issues - as you might have picked up, racism is one of the big ones! I think it's really interesting playing this as a white guy, because it helps me experience a bit of what's happening there, and be more empathetic to those situations (though it's very much something I was already aware of and care about - this just helps give me more specific experience with it).
Another big note the story hits on is family. Obviously, the big part here is the two brothers; but also their relationship with their Dad, Esteban; later on, their relationship with their mother, Karen; their grandparents; and even the "family" of sorts with the hippies in the forest. Beyond that, there's also the family dynamic that Jacob has with his sister; that Lisbeth attempts to have with Daniel; that the desert community have. You get to see a lot of different sorts of families, and different ideas of what it means or looks like for people; and, to some degree, make your own, and come up with your own conclusions.
Beyond these big two, it also looks at drug use, violence, drinking, religion/cult dynamics, homophobia, and death. You don't have the outright scheming villains that you do in the original game; but you do have a few people that will certainly look at you and try to take advantage of you.
There are a lot of emotional moments, and a lot of difficult choices. Often, you won't really know all the impacts of your choices, and sometimes you'll want to go back and change them - sorry, you can't rewind time in this game. You can reload a save, but that's about it. The dynamic of not being the one with the power actually made this game feel very different - if Daniel is around, you can ask him to interact with specific things using his power at particular times, but that's not always an option. You're the "normal" person this time, trying to make the best decisions you can with the limited information you have.
Again, it's an emotional rollercoaster, but again, it's very much worth travelling. I think this one is perhaps more directly educational (if that makes sense) than the previous one - there were a lot of direct lessons I could pull from this game without having to read into it at all, and although I think there are many lessons in the previous game as well - I don't know. Perhaps just different sorts of lessons, or less obvious? Difficult to tell.

Parents - this one probably isn't for kids so much. Even though it features a kid as one of the main characters! I think you'd need to be at least 16 to play this. There can be a decent amount of swearing, and there is some nudity as well (brief and not too in-your-face, but clearly present), and some serious violence on occasion, as well as many racial slurs aimed at the main characters. Again, this game could definitely be used to teach kids some great lessons - but this one would be more for your older teens. Again - have a go of it yourself, and decide if it's right for your child. Keep in mind that making different choices in-game will affect their experience!

Before I wrap up, though, I do want to talk for a bit about the ending. Super-duper spoilers here, folks!
Right at the end, you are presented with a choice - to surrender to the police, or to try and get through the blockade using Daniel's powers. Your choices throughout the game will affect Daniel's morality, which will decide whether he will agree with your decision. This results in four possible endings. I'm not really going to speak to the other three - but in my playthrough, I kept a fairly good level of morality with Daniel, and so he agreed to surrender when I said that.
You then have an extended cutscene that shows you the outcome of that decision - Daniel is too young to be prosecuted, so he grows up with his grandparents. Sean is imprisoned, however, for fifteen years, for his crimes (this is regardless of your choices). You get shown some key moments that happen for Daniel during that time, including him graduating and getting a job, and then you get to see Sean being released. Daniel is obviously there to welcome him, as well as a couple of others - an old school friend and one of the grandparents. There's some more cutscene, where Daniel and Sean go for a hike together down to the spot where they spent their first night together after their Dad died, and share stories. But then - and this is what I don't get - they each get in their own cars, and drive in opposite directions.
What the heck? After everything, all that they've been through, and waiting fifteen years to see each other, they don't stay together. We're not given any explanation of why this happens in-game, and I can't find any thoughts elsewhere on the interwebs as yet. But, from my experience of the characters and story, this makes literal zero sense to me. But there you go!

Anyway, I really loved this game (despite the confusing ending), and think it's definitely worth playing for those who love games rich in story, in character, in choices, or all of the above. It will probably get you crying at some point - but that's not a bad thing.

Covid Church.

Hey folks. I haven't chatted on here much for a while. Hope you're all keeping okay amidst the crazy world right now. I'm mostly staying home and working (because work is still a thing), which plays fun games with mental and emotional health and all that. But I got to see some of my family in person recently, which was really nice. And we walked some dogs the other day. So I'm alright.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about! Actually wanted to talk about church.
And I wanted to talk about church because I've found it really interesting observing what's been happening with it since Covid and isolation and all that started (being one of the main staff of a church myself). But after thinking about it a bit, it actually makes a lot of sense.

So, for context. Our church usually has two services - 9am and 5pm. The 9am service is fairly traditional Anglican; prayerbook service, organ, hymns, and the average age of the congregation is probably about 60 at a guess, maybe a little higher. They do morning tea afterwards, and they're lovely people. I usually do the first song for them on piano, which is comparatively newer, but still one they know well (like In Christ Alone, or Jesus Paid It All). The 5pm service is more contemporary, with a band (that I lead most weeks) and more modern songs (aka 2000 onwards or so), and a more relaxed setting. It's also our family service, so it has a kids church and all that too, and we have dinner together afterwards. We might get - at a rough guess - sixty or so at the morning service, and probably about eighty in the evening.

When isolation started, we moved online, as many churches did. We opted to do a church service via Zoom, consolidating both services into the one, which would start at 9:45am, but opening up the Zoom earlier for people to log in, chat, make sure their technology was working, etc. And we saw something a bit remarkable happening.
Each week, we would have close to, or just over, 100 devices signed in to the Zoom. Now, that's devices, not people - so some of those can represent couples, or families. And when you take that into account, that's more than our typical two congregations combined. I think there's a few reasons for that, and I'd like to take a look at that.

Firstly, what you need to commit in order to attend has been lowered significantly. Previously, if you wanted to attend one of our normal services, you'd need to set aside the time, maybe put on something a little nicer if you wanted to (though particularly at the 5pm service it's more casual), drive over to Cobbitty, and sit in the pews for roughly the hour that the service goes for (with some standing up and sitting back down, but a lot of the time is spent sitting in the pews), which aren't quite representing the height of comfort. Now, all you need to do is set aside the time, turn your computer/tablet/phone on, click the link in your email or on the church website or Facebook, and that's it. If you don't want to get dressed - just leave the screen off. Church in your pyjamas! Why not?

And so many people that might only attend church now and then are becoming more regular attendees. By the same token, it makes it much more open to newcomers - when it's a much lower barrier to entry, they don't have to worry about being scrutinised or called out or recognised by anyone (not saying that's what we do, it's just a worry that newcomers have) if they don't want to, and they can just have it going in the background - it becomes much easier to just try it out, and see what you think. And to even try out multiple services, if they're at different times, or if they're prerecorded and put up on platforms like YouTube or Facebook. I mean, if you want, you could watch a church service that happened at a church several hours away from where you lived - maybe see the church that your parents or kids go to, or that a friend you know goes to. All of this suddenly becomes very easy and simple.

Secondly, the importance of community in this time of isolation can't be ignored. When you're spending even more of your time either by yourself or with just the people in your household, it's a welcome opportunity to be able to connect with other people all of a sudden, even if it's only via a video chat. So having that time to talk with people before and after the service can be really lovely. Now, as you can imagine, 100 devices talking all at once doesn't really work that well - but before the service, people tend to arrive in bits and pieces, so the early birds can have a good chat to each other without being interrupted too much; and then after the service, we go into random groups for a few minutes (Zoom lets us do that via something called Breakout Rooms), and can chat there more easily. Having that interaction, and that support during this time is really important, and really helpful for many people. So I think that's another reason that we're seeing more people regularly at church.

Thirdly - and finally - I think a big part of it as well is hope. We're in a global situation at the moment that's rather unprecedented, and quite scary if you think about it too much. Where we are in Australia we're doing pretty well, but there's a lot of places that aren't, and where people are dying very quickly (though, thankfully, it's not nearly as bad as it could be). Amongst that, people look for hope, reassurance, light. Religion is one place where people often find that. After all, for Christians, part of our faith is that - regardless of what happens in this life - we will be with God in the life to come, and there will be no suffering or pain. There's plenty of discussion as to what that looks like, but regardless, that seems pretty awesome right now. And we also believe that he is with us now, through his Spirit, strengthening us, guiding us, helping us. Giving us hope. So, yes, that is something else that I think is attracting people to churches at the moment (and, I'm guessing, also to other places of worship, but I don't really have information on that).
To be the devil's advocate for a moment - this is, of course, something that can be used and abused by some people; to gain wealth, or power, or influence, or what have you. But I suppose I hope that this is a very small minority of cases.

What's going to be most interesting, I think, is to see how this affects churches post-Covid. If churches draw from some of the lessons here, and think about how they can bring some of this back to regular services. Maybe that means looking at offering a livestreamed version of their service; perhaps it means looking at how they welcome or interact with newcomers, and seeing if there are changes that need to happen. But those are conversations for later. For now, I hope this was an interesting look at some positive aspects that this situation has had to churches (or at least, the church I'm in). As a parting note, if you are interested in joining our service this Sunday, you can find more information here.

An addendum to squares - rectangles!

This post is going to be rather random, but I made this discovery the other night, and so I wanted to write it out.

Quite a while ago now, when I was back in high school, I was fascinated with those grid squares that ask you to say how many squares of any size are within that grid.
I managed to figure out that if you have a grid of size x, where x is the number of squares along the side of the square, then the number of squares of any size you can find in the grid is equal to:
x^2 + (x-1)^2 + (x-2)^2 + ....... + 1. It's a sum of diminishing square numbers.



So, in the above grid, with size 6, that's 6^2 + 5^2 + 4^2 + 3^2 + 2^2 + 1^2, or 36 + 25 + 16 + 9 + 4 + 1, which is 91. (The contracted formula is (x(x+1)(2x+1))/6, but that's trickier to remember.)
I then tried to do it with a triangle grid....but that problem turned out to be rather more difficult and complicated.

But, what I did figure out randomly the other night in my sleep was......rectangles! And they're actually surprisingly simple.

Say you have a rectangle grid, with sides of length a and b. The number of unit squares in the grid is pretty obvious - it's ab. So then, I wondered if I could almost substitute a and b into the original equation I had - and, it turns out, I can! So, we end up with this:

ab + (a-1)(b-1) + (a-2)(b-2) + .....

The only difference for this formula is that it doesn't have 1 as the last number. In the last bracket, either a or b will equal 1, but not both, otherwise it would be a square! And if you take away 1 again, obviously you get zero, which multiplies to give itself again, so you're no longer adding any more.

But I'm quite happy with this result! I've already tried it out with a few rectangle grids, and it seems to be working really well so far. I'm pretty sure that it will always work, but let me know if you find a corner case!
What I'm not sure of is how this could potentially be factored down. I can't really create a series to search for, because rectangles can have all sorts of ratios. So this might be as far as I can get with it for now, but I'm okay with that.

On Hope.

Well.

The world has gone a bit crazy over the past couple of weeks. For those living under a rock, or if you happen to be reading this in the future (hey future people!), coronavirus AKA Covid-19 is currently taking its toll worldwide.

I was going to write a post more around the facts and myths surrounding the virus - because there seems to be a fair bit of misinformation about - but I don't know if that's what people need right now. Rather, I think what people need is hope.

Because it's easy to laugh it off, and say that it's probably not going to affect you, and poke fun at the people panic-buying and post photos of toilet paper saying you'll sell it for a dollar a sheet. But, more and more, people are realising that this is going to affect them directly. If you don't get sick, people you know will. Probably most people you know. If you don't lose your job, people you know will. Some companies will close down, and some businesses will more or less cease to exist, as more and more restrictions are put in place.
Here in Australia at the moment, there's a ban on all outside gatherings of 500 or more people, and all indoor gatherings of 100 or more people; and international travel has been suspended. You also can't get into Australia any more if you're not a citizen/resident. Even interstate travel has slowed down. Aged care homes are limiting visitors. I think those are the main points.

It can feel very crushing. A lot is happening all at once, and even if you're someone who "likes change" and "goes with the flow", this isn't generally the change or flow you're talking about. It can feel like there's not any end to it, because it just keeps getting worse (even though there are already ideas about how long it might last - say six months or so).
Panic is easy. So is ignorance. Neither are good or helpful responses. We don't want people hoarding like crazy; but by the same token, we don't want people thinking it's not an issue and just going out and living their lives like normal as if nothing's wrong. There needs to be a happy medium of rational caution; where we hold both hope and comprehension together. On the hope side, we need to be looking to the future, and remembering that this isn't permanent. On the comprehension side, we need to be understanding the possible dangers, as well as the dangers already present.

I don't want to speak too much to the comprehension side of things at this time. Perhaps I will some other time. But I will speak to hope.
Hope comes from seeing good in the future. It's about looking positively forward, believing, trusting, in a future that is good. It can be specific, or it can be general. But it can also be easily blocked, if we have a short view.

To illustrate, I'll use an example from The Hobbit. If you haven't read it, this won't spoil anything in particular (though you should definitely go read it). There's one point where Bilbo and the dwarves are in the middle of this forest. And it's rather big, and they've been going for days, and they're rather lost. So they send Bilbo up one of the trees to get a better view, to see if he can see the edge of the forest. But when he gets up there, it looks like the forest continues to every horizon.
However, the narrator kindly tells us that they are in fact in a valley, a bowl of sorts, so it merely gives the illusion that it continues forever; were they to head in this or that direction for a while and repeat the experiment, they would have very different results. However, instead, the group loses hope. Because they don't have perspective. They're focusing on the immediate situation. (Which, considering what they've been through, is understandable, I will admit.)

Similarly, if we focus on the situation at hand, it's easy to lose hope. But if we shift our focus further afield, then we can retain that hope. And we can do that in a couple of different ways.
Firstly, we can remember that this is just a season. A strange and difficult season, yes, that we're not sure exactly how long will last; but everything we know says it won't last forever. That there will be an "other side", that we will get through it, one way or another. So we can focus on that, and on how we're going to make things better for when we do emerge out of this.
Or secondly, we can focus on something that doesn't change. In my experience, that's God. He might change what he does, or how we see him - but who he is is unchanging. He is life. He is love. He is light. He is truth. And he is hope, and joy, and peace. And that is an unshifting, firm foundation amidst the chaos - which means that, through anything, through all things, I can have hope. And, when I remember that, I do. I can forget, sometimes, and lose hope. But that isn't because he's changed - it's because I've changed my focus.

I'm not intending for this to be preachy. I just recognise that in this time, there are many people that are struggling. And I want to help.
We might be feeling alone - but we are going through this together, as the human race. This affects all of us (provided you don't happen to live in a bunker). And so we need to get through it together, though it might seem to be separating us. Together, we have hope. Together, we can make it. Let's support each other, let's help to keep each other hopeful. There is light at the end of this tunnel, and it's not just the train.
I'm still believing in a bright future. Perhaps more so than before. I hope that you will join me.